Chapter 145: Chapter 100: Mission: Capture the Evil Santa Claus

By the time Li Wei got home, the sky had already gone completely dark. The snow was falling so heavily he could barely see the road ahead.

The festive, multicolored Christmas decorations in Dyker Heights had made the entire neighborhood the talk of Brooklyn. On his drive home, Li Wei kept seeing groups of tourists gathered in front of one house or another, taking pictures.

For the residents of Dyker Heights, just having Don Quixote’s company handle the decorations was far from enough. On their own lawns and in their yards, the residents would spontaneously display their own interpretations of Christmas.

After parking the Cadillac Escalade in the garage, Li Wei had just stepped inside when Lily came bouncing over. She was dressed in red and green pajamas, dragging a Barbie doll in one hand and hugging a box in the other.

"Dad bought Christmas pajamas!" she announced, spinning around in front of Li Wei as if to show them off. "Aren’t they pretty!"

"Of course they are!" Li Wei said, scooping her up into his arms. "Where’s Uncle Don Quixote?"

"Dad’s in the kitchen making pasta," Lily said, handing the bag she was carrying to Li Wei. "These are your pajamas."

"There’s a pair for me too?" Li Wei opened the bag and saw a set of pajamas matching Lily’s. "Is this some kind of Christmas activity?"

"That’s right!" Lily declared loudly. "Everyone in the family has a pair, and we have to take a picture together tonight."

Carrying Lily, Li Wei walked inside and saw Don Quixote, also changed into a set of garish, ugly pajamas, bustling about in the kitchen.

He seemed to be in an excellent mood. Li Wei wasn’t sure if it was just his imagination, but it even looked like he had fewer wrinkles on his face.

Unlike the turkey on Thanksgiving, the Christmas Eve menu was much more flexible.

Beef stew, lasagna, seafood risotto (a special request from Lily)—you could basically eat whatever you wanted. There were no set rules.

Before they officially started eating, Don Quixote, for the first time ever, said a prayer before the meal.

"As we gather here, we are grateful for the love in this house and for the food so carefully prepared. We think of those who could not be with us tonight and thank those who grew and cooked this food. Let us cherish this moment of peace and togetherness. Amen."

When he finished, Li Wei and Lily both repeated, "Amen."

After Christmas dinner, Lily only managed to watch less than two hours of *Home Alone* before she was yawning nonstop, and Don Quixote took her off to bed.

"Dad," she said, rubbing her eyes, "I don’t want to sleep. I have to wait for Santa Claus to come."

"Be good. Santa Claus will come tonight," Don Quixote said. "He’ll only come after you’re asleep."

"Well... will he be hungry when he gets here?" Lily wondered. "After all, he’s still working so late."

The thought sparked her excitement. She grabbed Don Quixote’s hand and led him to the fireplace to set out a plate of cookies (her favorite brand) and a glass of milk for the impending arrival of Santa Claus. Still, she was worried. What if the reindeer couldn’t find their door?

Finally, after sprinkling a little "reindeer food"—a mix of oatmeal and glitter—by the front door, she went back to bed, satisfied.

Gently closing the door, Don Quixote tiptoed to the garage like a thief and returned carrying a large gift box.

"A bicycle?" Li Wei asked, watching Don Quixote clumsily tie a bow on the gift box while tearing off the price tag. "Lily has been wanting a bike for a while now."

"Right?" Don Quixote said. "I heard her mention it once."

Then he turned to Li Wei. "Why don’t you hang a stocking in the house and go to bed?"

Li Wei pointed at himself in surprise. "This involves me too? I get a Christmas present?"

"Of course," Don Quixote nodded. "I’ve already prepared a gift box with 1,000 extra-large condoms for you to use when you go to college next year."

The corner of Li Wei’s mouth twitched. He had a retort on the tip of his tongue, but he didn’t know what to say.

"Thanks," he said, turning to go upstairs. "You shouldn’t have."

Don Quixote ate the cookies by the fireplace and drank the milk to create evidence of Santa Claus’s visit, then returned to his own room to rest.

Back in his room, Li Wei didn’t go to sleep. Anya was constantly sending him messages from Monaco. One moment, she said she saw more news about him online. The next, she was complaining about her dad’s plan to change the yacht’s rear sunshade to carbon fiber ("Doesn’t it look like a race car’s rear wing? So cool!"). Her strong objections were useless. The color didn’t match the creamy-white yacht at all, and she couldn’t, for the life of her, understand why men were so obsessed with carbon fiber.

Time flew by, and soon it was past two in the morning. A rustling sound came from Don Quixote’s room next door.

Li Wei’s eyes lit up. He turned off his screen and slipped quietly out the door.

In the dead of night, illuminated by the multicolored neon glow from outside the window, Don Quixote rustled as he finished putting on his suit of armor.

"Knight Don Quixote!" Li Wei said. "Tonight, is this—"

"Shh," Don Quixote whispered. "Don’t be loud. Follow me."

He tiptoed downstairs, his armor clanking with every step.

It was a good thing Lily was a child and a heavy sleeper, or the noise would have definitely woken her up.

Using the cover of darkness, Don Quixote crept downstairs to the fireplace. He sat down cross-legged, facing the dark hearth, and didn’t say a word.