I did think Kwon Yido was handsome. Both objectively and subjectively—his looks were so refined it felt like one’s eyesight improved just from seeing him, as the employees liked to say. But after doing something vile to that ascetic face, a guilt so heavy it made my stomach ache pressed down on me.

“......”

Even so, he casually licked his lips with his tongue. The sticky semen vanished into his mouth along the flushed line of his tongue. The scene was so obscenely erotic it made my head spin.

“......Why would «N.o.v.e.l.i.g.h.t» you.”

“Just because.”

“......”

“It looked like it would taste good.”

Kwon Yido didn’t even bother to wipe away the semen smeared across his face. He only gave the faintest tremor of his wet eyelashes, twisting his expression ever so slightly. “As expected, it doesn’t taste good.” Muttering that, he quietly pressed his cheek against my still-wet sex.

“Do you like it on your face?”

“......”

I should have said no, but with our eyes locked, I couldn’t. The gaze he lifted up at me was so stimulating it felt like I might develop a new fetish from it. I don’t know how long I just stayed like that. Sensitive from having just come, I felt his tongue graze against my glans.

“Hht...”

He’d told me to act like a whore, and yet he was the one acting that way now. Instead of being disgusted, he licked my wet sex without hesitation. When he tried to take the glans into his mouth again, I panicked and yanked his hair.

“Stop... stop it.”

His head tilted back. It looked like I had grabbed his hair on purpose, but Kwon Yido didn’t look displeased at all. Rather, he gazed up at me with regretful eyes, as if asking why I was stopping him.

“......Why?”

“What do you mean, why...”

Did he really plan to do it again after once already? Panting, I furrowed my brow. Then my gaze dropped without thinking, and I caught sight of the taut fabric of his suit pants.

“...Don’t tell me you got hard while sucking me off?”

The outline bulging against his thigh was too pronounced to ignore. It was so large to begin with it was impossible not to notice. His face was drenched, and yet, kneeling there with his lower body stiffened. Watching me reel in shock, he even clicked his tongue.

“That’s the look of someone who knows he’s in trouble.”

How could it not be? I’d known it all along, but seeing it afresh, I thought again—he really was a perverted bastard. In the short time we’d been apart, I had underestimated this man too much.

“Haa...”

My head was spinning. And now I realized—even his eyes were glazed over. Just like when we kissed earlier, his pupils had gone hazy and heavy with lust.

“...Sejin.”

What should I do. Kwon Yido was Kwon Yido, but the fact that I reacted to that call made me think I was the crazy one. The hand that had been braced on my thigh slid stealthily up, slipping around my waist. Then, beneath my tailbone, a finger pressed against my wet entrance.

“Hht...”

My lower belly hollowed in. Kwon Yido had no trouble sliding his finger into the narrow opening. As his touch probed along my inner walls, the grip I had on his hair slackened.

“...Ha.”

As if waiting for it, he pressed his lips to my sex again. He licked the rigid length from base to tip before taking the slick glans into his mouth. Sucking with a kiss-like pop, he let go and whispered in a suggestive tone.

“I’ll do everything you tell me.”

Ah... whatever happens, happens.

***

I don’t know what state of mind carried me to the bed. Clothes dropped one by one to the floor, and when I came to my senses, I was already in Kwon Yido’s arms. He had lifted me easily, like a child, kissing me as he carried me into the bedroom.

“Haa, hh...”

No matter how much I breathed, it wasn’t enough. Both of us were bare, bodies pressed together without a gap. Kwon Yido clung to me relentlessly, coaxing and soothing, smothering my face with kisses.

“Ah... Mr. Kwon, your heart...”

“......”

“It’s pounding too fast...”

The fact of his arousal felt unbearably raw. His pheromones poured out thick, his body heat blazed hot, and above all the emotions reaching me were so inflated they seemed ready to burst.

“Hht, hh...”

Soft lips tickled against my chest. He bit lightly, not hard enough to hurt, then shifted to my nipple. Chewing, teasing with his front teeth, while his other hand stroked along my thigh.

“Haa...”

Every time he touched me, my whole body flinched. Feeling him again after so long filled me with overwhelming anticipation. Even the sticky, wet caresses made me imagine what was coming next.

“...Ah, stop...”

By now, wasn’t it time to go in? Just as that thought came, he pulled back slightly. His hands grabbed my thighs and spread them apart.

But in the moment his warmth retreated, lightning struck my mind.

'Spread your legs straight.'

“......”

That cold voice lashed like a whip. On this bed, in nearly the same position, I remembered the violent sex he had forced on me. Pinning me down like a dog, pushing into an unprepared body, spewing filthy words as he went on.

'Was it like this when Kwon Ijeong fucked you too?'

“Hhhk...”

In an instant my body locked rigid. The heat fled all at once, and fear rose from the depths of my gut. My heart, pounding with arousal, now raced for another reason.

“......”

Sensing something wrong, Kwon Yido froze. He lifted his head and stared down at me, blank. No one spoke. Then suddenly his face crumpled.

“...Sorry.”

My chest tightened as though it would burst. His voice was tiny, brittle. His face, steeped in guilt, his trembling gaze—he looked more tormented than I was.

“I’m sorry, Sejin...”

He let go of my legs and collapsed slowly against me. The sweltering heat of him wrapped me tight, nearly crushing me. His warmth spread through me with his pheromones, hair tickling my chin, breath ghosting over my nape.

“It’s my fault.”

“......”

“I’m sorry...”

As much as I could feel his emotions, he must have felt mine. Maybe he couldn’t read my exact thoughts, but he knew what I felt looking at him now. Though the mood had been good, he had turned instantly into a sinner.

“Sorry...”

“...Ha.”

Maybe the alcohol still lingered. My clear vision blurred to haze. After drinking that much, it would be stranger if I sobered up so quickly.

“...Hhk.”

Tears slipped down my temples. It had come without warning, and once it started, there was no stopping the surge of grief. Him holding me, begging me with an apologetic voice—all of it was so pitiful, yet still I felt resentment.

“Ah... hhhk...”

'I shouldn’t have trusted someone like you.'

Maybe I hadn’t been fine after all. I thought I was forgetting, but maybe it was only memories buried in ash. In the briefest breeze, the feelings I thought had died caught fire again.

“Why...”

“......”

“Why did you do that to me.”

The spark spread uncontrollably. My emotions, flaring, poured solely toward Kwon Yido. My insides boiled; I buried my face against his shoulder.

“Why did you...”

Why did you treat me like that. My chest felt like it was rotting. Feelings I had been ignoring surged out, sharp thorns stabbing at him before I could stop them.

“You... you saw how beaten I was. You knew Kwon Ijeong raped me...”

There was no way he hadn’t noticed how wrecked I looked. In fact, he had raged the moment he first saw me, demanding who had done that. He had realized I’d been forced—so what was he so furious about?

“And then you did the same thing to me...”

That time, I was raped by both of them, and left with wounds that would never heal. My body might mend, but my heart was still scarred.

“Did you ask me that because your brother fucked me too?”

“......”

“Ha, fuck...”

Rage erupted without end. Tears streamed down, soaking my face and his shoulder. Hugging him instinctively brought a pang of longing, yet I hated him all the same.

“Do you know what I felt trying to survive that moment? My ass was tearing, bleeding—and worse than that was knowing you had abandoned me. Kwon Ijeong... your brother called me a gift...”

The more I spoke, the tighter my throat grew. At last I couldn’t finish, and Kwon Yido only held me tighter. The grinding of his teeth came with emotions laced with both remorse and fury.

“Were you so angry I slept with someone else? Is that why you treated me like that?”

“......”

“Then you shouldn’t have come looking for me!”

Why had he come to find me at the officetel? Leaving that house, not being able to even explain to him—was all of that just so he could break me?

“What did I do so wrong...”

“......”

“What sin did I commit to deserve this...”

Where had it started, I asked myself endlessly. If I had asked an employee for help, if I hadn’t gone to the entryway where Kwon Ijeong was, or if I had confessed everything to Yido earlier...

“I didn’t steal because I wanted to. I wanted to tell you too. To say I’m sorry, that Father made me... hh, but it was too...”

“......”

“It was too terrifying...”

And yet, even if time turned back, I would have made the same choice. Afraid of being abandoned, I would have hidden until the end, stupidly clinging to place without knowing how much it would rot me inside.

“What should I have done... what more could I have done. You—you weren’t blameless either...”

Everything I did was from a single fear. That I’d disappoint, and so be abandoned, sent back to that snowy winter field, left alone again.

“...I’m sorry.”

“Hhh...”

“I’m sorry, Sejin.”

Kwon Yido did not let me go, whispering over and over. He pressed his face into my hair, swallowing ragged breaths. His guilt shredded his insides—it told me his emotions were overflowing too.

“I wasn’t in my right mind.”

“......”

“I was insane.”

The more he spoke, the harsher his voice grew. He clenched his teeth, breathing rough.

“I... ha, fuck, I was an idiot not to know you...”

At that, another wave of tears broke. Sobbing aloud, I smacked his back hard.

“Why... hh... why are you swearing!”

“......”

“What gives you the right to curse...”

I felt like my head had broken. I had never cried so loud in my life, but shame didn’t even cross my mind. I tried pushing him away just because I hated even his comfort.

“You were like that from the start. Treating me like dirt, hh... telling me to know my place, hhk, know my place...”

What good was pretending to be nice. What did repentance and regret change now. We had already broken, could never return to what we were. Our time was already in tatters, just like my heart.

“What makes you so great? Why do you always act alone, hh, when you could... you could give me a second chance, but instead you end it, telling me it’s over...”

I didn’t even know what I was saying anymore, just kept crying. I knocked my forehead against his shoulder, squirming with frustration. Annoyingly, Kwon Yido only gave me more apologies instead of letting me go. 𝐟𝚛𝕖𝚎𝕨𝗲𝐛𝚗𝐨𝐯𝐞𝕝.𝐜𝗼𝗺

“...It’s my fault.”

“And what if it is... what are you going to do then!”

I knew I was throwing a tantrum. I knew even his voice was thick with tears. The grief spilling from me was soaking into him too.

“I hate everything now... hh, why is it always me...”

At last, panting, I grabbed his hair. Even as I clutched so hard it must have hurt, he didn’t pull away. He only lifted his head slightly and pressed a kiss to my cheek, as if to tell me not to cry.

“Hhk, hhh...”

His warm lips rubbed my eyelids. Sliding down, he kissed with a soft smack. I was about to snap at him for kissing me at his whim, but then he pressed his cheek to mine.

“I’m sorry, Sejin.”

That was when I first learned crying took stamina. At some point, the tears that had poured like rain stopped coming. Yet the sobs wouldn’t cease, and hiccups shook me as if I’d stop breathing.

“Hhk, hh...”

Kwon Yido cradled my upper body, stroking my back like a child in tears. The funny thing was—it actually soothed me. Even as I tried to push him away, I clung to the warmth and opened my eyes to glare at him.

“......”

“......”

Our eyes met. Dark pupils rippled with countless emotions. Why did he look at me so lovingly even now? As if he could accept anything I did.

It was an impulsive choice. I gasped, then dragged him toward me. I forced our lips together.

“......”

Didn’t the doctor say it? That if I thought it was right, then it was right.

I had raged and cried so much I didn’t want to think anymore. I just wanted to act however I pleased, led by instinct. Whether it was alcohol or childish impulse—in this moment, I couldn’t think of anything else.

“...Mmm.”

Of course, Kwon Yido didn’t refuse. He only twined tongues as I demanded, gently feeding me his pheromones. As I bit and sucked at his tongue, out of breath, he steadily breathed and passed them to me.

The grief that had collapsed over me was smothered now by other emotions. Desire for him, a flicker of excitement, and even the hope I thought I’d buried.

“Haa...”

Smack. Pulling back, Kwon Yido kissed my jaw. Then my cheeks, nose, eyes—before lingering long again on my lips. His hand slid up to my chest, palm resting over my heart as if to feel the beat.

“...Ha.”

I didn’t know why he sighed then. I only knew his expression crumpled as though in relief, almost like he might cry. His lips slipped down my neck, nibbling along my pulse.

“Ah, hhn...”

Pheromones, mingled and indistinguishable, filled the air. On the tree of his pheromones, fragrant blossoms bloomed. Holding me close as I clung to him, he whispered in the gentlest voice:

“Tell me if it hurts.”

His long fingers pressed below. Already loosened once, it wasn’t hard to take two. Three was tight, but my body had already opened with anticipation.

The penetration was slow. I was the one who had spread my legs first, and Yido checked my reactions again and again. As the thick head pushed through, as the long shaft slid inside, I bit my lip and held on to my thin thread of reason.

“Ah, there...”

It wasn’t easy to take again after so long. Yet, unlike the heaviness of it, there was no pain. He had taken care to prepare me, and he moved as though serving me.

“Haa, nn, hh...”

It was unhurried. Gentle, warm, and more tender than ever. As if promising never to hurt me again, never to frighten me.

That night, we mixed our bodies as long as all the words we hadn’t said. When our eyes met, we kissed, and when we reached climax, we clung desperately to each other. As though only the two of us existed. And through it all—there was no more fear.