Chapter 487: Episode 485: We understand you mother.

Roxy closed her eyes for just one second.

She focused on the steady, safe feeling of Zarek’s hand on her back and Ren’s strong arms holding her waist. She took a deep, shaky breath, filling her lungs with air. When she opened her eyes again, the panic was gone. Only pure, overwhelming love was left.

The big television screen was a window right into her heart.

Because they were all so excited, the kids started talking over each other. It was a loud, messy, and wonderful noise. The speakers on the big TV buzzed as nine different voices tried to reach across the universe all at the exact same time.

Iris pushed her way to the very front of the couch. She didn’t care about looking like a grown-up right now. Big, wet tears were spilling down her cheeks, and she didn’t even try to wipe them away.

"Mama, we miss you!" Iris cried out, her voice loud and clear over the noise. She reached her hand toward the camera. "We miss you so much!"

Drax sat right next to Iris. He leaned forward, his dark green eyes squinting as he looked very, very closely at the screen. He saw the sharp lines of Roxy’s cheekbones. He saw how her nice green silk shirt hung a little too loosely on her shoulders. Even though she was much better now, the horrible weeks in the dark basement had left their mark.

"You have gone thin, Mama," Drax said. His deep voice sounded so worried, just like a protective father.

Tanith stood tall right behind the couch. The young Swamp Queen crossed her arms tightly over her chest. She lifted her chin, trying very hard to act like a tough, bossy ruler who didn’t cry. But her bottom lip was trembling, and her eyes were shining with held-back tears.

"Are you beating yourself up over this?" Tanith asked, trying to make her voice sound strict. "Because you shouldn’t be. You need to take care of yourself."

Onyx stood next to Tanith, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. He frowned, his blue wolf eyes looking Roxy up and down.

"She clearly hasn’t been eating," Onyx muttered in a grumpy, protective rumble. "Papas need to feed her more meat."

Down on the floor, Axel was completely busy fighting a losing battle.

Little Tyara, the tiny white tiger cub, thought the big television screen was a magical window. She thought that if she could just get close enough, she could climb right through the glass and jump into her mother’s lap. She let out a loud, playful roar and tried to crawl right up to the camera to bite it.

Axel grabbed her right around her furry little middle to stop her. "No, Tyara, stay back! You’re going to knock it over!" Axel yelled, laughing and pulling her backward.

But Tyara was a wild, stubborn little cub. Every single time Axel pulled her away from the screen, she would twist her little body around, open her mouth, and bite his arm instead.

"Ow!" Axel laughed, shaking his arm as the tiger cub chomped down on his sleeve. "Stop biting me! Look at Mama, don’t eat my arm!"

Seeing Axel wrestle the wild little tiger cub made a wet, watery laugh bubble up in Roxy’s chest.

This was her family. They were loud, chaotic, totally crazy, and completely perfect. They were not mad at her. They were not looking at her with hate or anger. They were just looking at her with so much love that it made her chest ache.

The giant lump in Roxy’s throat finally melted away. She found her voice.

Roxy took a step closer to the big television. She rested her hands on her own chest, feeling her heart beating wildly against her ribs.

"I miss you all too!" Roxy cried out. Her voice was loud and broken, completely raw with honesty.

The second she spoke, the kids on the screen went perfectly quiet. Even little Tyara stopped biting Axel’s arm, turning her round ears toward the screen to listen to her mother’s voice.

"I didn’t even have time to say goodbye!" Roxy sobbed, the tears falling fast and heavy down her cheeks. "I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry. It was never my fault to leave you guys... I tried my best to come back to you, I swear I did! But the door is closed, and I can’t find a way through."

She looked at their sweet, beautiful faces. She thought about how much danger they were in every day, ruling a wild world without their parents to protect them.

"I am probably the worst parent right now," Roxy cried, her voice shaking with pure guilt. "Fathers and mothers are supposed to stay with their babies. We are supposed to protect you. I feel like I abandoned you. But I never wanted this to happen. I wanted to stay with you forever."

She hung her head, crying so hard she had to close her eyes. She felt so ashamed. She felt like she had failed the most important job in the entire world.

On the screen, the room was very quiet for a long moment. The children listened to the deep, terrible sadness in their mother’s voice. They heard how much she blamed herself for something she couldn’t control.

Drax gave her a gentle, endearing smile. It was the exact same warm, steady, and totally forgiving smile that Zarek always gave Roxy when she was feeling lost. It was a smile that said everything was going to be okay.

"We never judged you, Mother," Drax said softly. His deep voice carried no anger, no blame, and no sadness. It only carried absolute love. "We know you fought for us. You are the best mother in the world."

Those simple, beautiful words hit Roxy right in the heart.

We never judged you.

They didn’t blame her. They didn’t think she was a bad mom. They understood.

Roxy coughed out a heavy, massive sob. It felt like a giant boulder, a rock she had been carrying on her back for months, suddenly fell away. A massive weight lifted entirely off her shoulders. The crushing guilt that had made her want to jump off the bridge just hours ago was completely wiped clean by Drax’s gentle smile.

She could finally breathe again.

"Oh, my sweet boy," Roxy whispered, touching her fingers to the television screen, right where Drax’s cheek was. "I love you. I love all of you so much."

She looked around the screen again, wiping the happy tears from her eyes. She looked at Drax, Tanith, Onyx, Axel, Iris, Tyara, Fedor, and little Zale. She counted them in her head. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

Wait. Eight.

Roxy blinked. Her breath caught in her throat. Her mind, finally clear from the heavy fog of guilt, suddenly remembered.

She had given birth in the dark. She had pushed through the pain, and she had heard a tiny, perfect cry. But she had never seen the baby. She had never gotten to hold her.

"What..." Roxy stammered, her green eyes going wide as she searched the screen. "What about..."

Before she could even finish her sentence, the kids on the screen parted like a curtain.

Iris stepped right up to the very front, standing directly beside Drax. She had been holding her arm carefully the whole time. Now, she lifted her arm up gently.

Resting safely in Iris’s arms was a tiny, soft bundle wrapped in a warm blanket.

Roxy stepped closer to the television, her heart completely stopping in her chest. She grabbed the edge of the screen with shaking hands, leaning in as close as she possibly could.

"Is that...?"