Leilani.

I couldn’t sleep.

Ever since Jarek’s demise, I have not had even a wink of sleep.

Tonight, I had been successfully dozing off earlier until I suddenly jolted in my sleep, snapping awake with such force that very nearly threw me out of my bed.

I groaned tiredly as I wrapped my flimsy robe around my frail body and after slipping on a pair of matching flip flops, I made my way down to the kitchen, helped myself to a bottle of water and then sank into the floor with my head buried between my knees.

For days now, I have been experiencing some panic attack sessions. There were times when I would suddenly just unlearn how to breathe. Times when it would feel as though my chest had constricted, restricting airflow to my lungs. There were times when my face would be so flushed, you would easily know that I am having a hard time breathing.

And this... this was one of those times.

In the very early stages, I would think of Jarek... his smile... his thick hair and dimpled face. I would think of his beautiful eyes and deep voice or the way his arms used to protectively wrap around my body, filling me with heat... and I would feel better.

But not this time.

Not now that my body had fully accepted his loss. Not when I knew deep down that there was no way in hell, or even in heaven, that I could feel his warmth anymore.

I heaved desperately as I tried and failed to drag in lungfuls of air, but the more I tried, the harder it became until I began to hyperventilate. Until my face and skin began to turn into a weird shade of purple and until my vision began to blur around the edges, making everything around my peripherals disappear until it became hazy.

My nails tried to dig into the floor but beside the surface was hard— too hard— some of my fingernails broke, drawing blood which pooled by my fingertips. But I didn’t feel the pain.

I couldn’t.

However, just when I had begun to think that I would die silently from lack of air, that I would wither and die and no one would realize this until the next day, I suddenly caught a whiff of a familiar scent.

It smelled like pines and pineapple and a touch of something... something akin to blueberries.

The scent made my wolf go berserk. My heart skipped in my chest and I opened my mouth, desperately trying to speak, but no words would form. My throat had suddenly gone dry.

"Leilani?" A familiar voice called out, shock dripping off his voice. But I still couldn’t respond. Heck, I couldn’t even bring myself to turn to him to know who he was.

I felt arms around me almost instantly then all of a sudden, it felt as though I was flying, drifting through space until it slowly dawned on me that I was being lifted into the male’s arms.

I sighed.

"Can you breathe?" The man asked but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t even respond.

"Can you hear me?"

"Ye... yes!" I croaked.

A moment passed between us in silence and then more, and the next thing I heard was...

"HELP! Leilani is having a hard time breathing! Open the windows and the doors and gosh if it’s possible to get a fan right here this instant, bring one!"

It took me a moment to get accustomed to the man whose manliness drew me in like a moth to a flame, and another moment to get used to his overly loud voice. But when I finally did, I managed to smile through my pain, my voice not more than a whisper as I hissed under my breath;

"Caelum."

"Yes, it is I, baby!" He responded almost flirtatiously. "Hang in there for me and you’ll be just fine!"

The way he sounded and his choice of words made me want to smile, but deciding that I couldn’t do that now, especially with most of my muscles being stiff, I settled for rolling my eyes, earning myself a soft chuckle from his end.

—

Caelum.

I still cannot help but wonder what would’ve happened to Leilani if I hadn’t gone down for some water some minutes ago. If I had not been restless in bed for no reason... if I hadn’t decided, despite feeling so lazy, that a walk to the kitchen was what I needed at the time.

My eyes darted downwards to Leilani’s face. Right now, she was sleeping peacefully, cradled in my chest after literally giving us all the biggest scare of our lives.

It took us a whole fifteen minutes to get her into breathing properly, and another ten minutes to be able to get her to speak. But now, she was asleep, looking as peaceful as an angel... and goddess, she was no angel.

She was a literal demon who had come into my life with the sole aim of creating chaos. She was a succubus, laden with the ability to turn me— us— on even without trying.

Her soft silvery hair fanned her face and with each soft breath that she took, it spread out, making her appear even more angelic... more beautiful... more ethereal...

"Goddess!" Kael hissed, snapping me out of my trance, and in irritation, I lifted my head just then to see him wiping off sweat at the corners of his face. "I almost thought I lost her right there."

"I almost thought so too," Zevran supplied, heaving a sigh. "Thank the Goddess that she is alive and well."

"Thank the Goddess," I cut in too, then stopped to glance at her one more time. "Thank the Goddess she is fine because you two wouldn’t have lost one person today, you would’ve lost two people."

"Two?" Kael cocked his eyebrows at me in confusion. "Why two people when it’s only Leilani?"

"The second person would’ve been me, dunce!" I snapped at him, rolling my eyes. "I would’ve slit my throat and followed her to wherever the fuck she goes to because come to think of it, I am tired of you two! And I cannot live without her."

The last part of my sentence had been said so quietly, I didn’t hope that anyone would hear me...

But my brothers? Those spies?

They heard me. Clearly.

And they laughed at me because only a couple of months ago, I would’ve happily fed on a donkey’s faecal matter than say something like that.

How time flies...