Living Only For Myself: Make Those Who Hate Me Regret It

Chapter 317 - 316: Xu Su, Do You Really Have the Heart?

Living Only For Myself: Make Those Who Hate Me Regret It

Chapter 317 - 316: Xu Su, Do You Really Have the Heart?

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Chapter 317: Chapter 316: Xu Su, Do You Really Have the Heart?

’Who the hell is this guy, getting turned on right here and now?’

The faint scent of smoke wafted past her nose. At the critical moment, Xu Su turned her head to dodge the kiss Xi Zirong was leaning in for again and cried out, "Let go of me first."

"Susu, I’m already hard. It wouldn’t look good if I let go." The hand on her waist didn’t loosen; instead, it pulled her even tighter. Xi Zirong’s voice was almost roguish. "You’re so soft-hearted. Help me cover it up, won’t you?"

Xu Su: "..."

’Cover what, for crying out loud!’

"My back hurts. Let go of me," Xu Su said, her face beet red. She couldn’t understand how he had become such a scoundrel.

’He’s a completely different person from the one in my memory!’

The hand on her waist loosened slightly. Xi Zirong asked, "Is this better?"

He was playing the scoundrel, all while pretending to negotiate. Xu Su laughed in exasperation. "I told you to let go, as in completely let go. Stop hugging me!"

"I won’t." Xi Zirong rested his chin on Xu Su’s shoulder, his voice sounding incredibly wronged. "The moment I let go, you’ll run away. You’ll run into someone else’s arms. Then I won’t get to see you or hold you."

"..." Xu Su clenched her fists, her nails digging tightly into her palms. "So you do remember I have a boyfriend."

"Of course I remember. I’ve always remembered..." Xi Zirong’s voice was low and husky as he said, word by word, "Xu Su, it’s been a year. Are you tired of him yet? Want to switch and give me a try?"

’Want to switch and give me a try...’

Xu Su’s heart leaped. It was one thing to know he hadn’t given up, but it was another thing entirely to hear him say it.

"Let go first. It’s hard to talk like this." Xu Su grabbed Xi Zirong’s arm. The muscles beneath her palm were firm and warm. She pressed her fingertips in slightly. "If you keep acting like a scoundrel, I’m going to get really angry."

The hands gripping her waist and the back of her neck stiffened for a moment before letting go.

Xi Zirong took half a step back, a helpless smile on his face. "Actually, whether you’re angry or not, you ignore me all the same. It seems there’s no difference."

’And yet, he was still terrified of her getting angry...’

Xu Su understood what he meant. She lowered her gaze, avoiding his eyes.

Ever since that outrageous guess about the Zhou Mochen from her past life formed in her mind, Xu Su hadn’t dared to think too deeply about it.

’If... if that guess is true, then what role did Xi Zirong play in all of this?’

She had lived two lifetimes, and even with Zhou Mochen coercing her, she could still fall for Xi Zirong.

So, if Zhou Mochen had never appeared at all, it would have been inevitable for her—the innocent, naive sixteen-year-old girl who had just arrived in Chang City from Kang County—to fall in love with Xi Zirong.

’She would have definitely fallen for Xi Zirong!’

Xu Su knew this for a fact...

But the more certain she was, the more complicated she felt.

Guilt, regret, heartache, and above all, a sense of being bound by fate.

’What on earth did the Zhou Mochen from my past life go through? What did he miss out on to become like that...?’

Xu Su’s thoughts were a chaotic mess. She forced herself to calm down, looked up at him quietly, and said softly, "Xi Zirong, we can’t go back."

’We can’t go back...’

"I don’t think so." Xi Zirong stared at the extinguished cigarette butt on the ground, his tone stubborn. "You clearly like me, too. We were clearly together first. You even still care about me now. Why can’t we go back?"

Few people passed by the corner. The AC was still on full blast. Xu Su pursed her lips, truly at a loss for words.

’Not wanting him to smoke was just not wanting to see him pick up a bad habit...’

’If he called that ’caring,’ I guess it would make sense.’

’But... that was it. Nothing more.’

That was the extent of the care she could give him.

Even when she speculated that there might have been a lifetime where she and he were mutually in love and completely devoted to one another, her first thought was still about what that Zhou Mochen had gone through.

Of course she felt regret regarding her feelings for Xi Zirong. If Zhou Mochen hadn’t appeared, perhaps they would have gone from school uniforms to a wedding dress. They would have been the couple most envied by others. How could she not feel regret?

Xu Su was silent for a long time. Xi Zirong couldn’t help but reach out and take her hand. "Xu Su, I really can’t forget you. If I could, I would never let myself get trapped in this kind of hopeless love, but I just can’t."

"Can you think about it from my perspective? Please, just think about it for me." Xi Zirong sighed, forced a smile, and deliberately joked, "If you really don’t want me, then I guess I’ll have to become a monk for the rest of my life. I’ll probably die a virgin. Xu Su, could you really bear that?"

"..." Xu Su’s eyes went wide, so embarrassed she could die. "How did you become such a smooth-talker?"

"Just assume I’ve been driven crazy thinking about you, that you’re all I dream about. What do you want me to do?" Xi Zirong answered his own question, murmuring, "There’s nothing I can do. I’m completely helpless."

Waking up from an erotic dream only to be jolted by the cruel reality that she might be lying in another man’s arms at that very moment... The fact that he hadn’t become twisted was a testament to his self-control.

Xi Zirong couldn’t even express one percent of the bitterness in his heart...

"Susu, I want to kiss you." He pulled gently, trying to draw Xu Su into his arms. "Let me have a kiss, okay?"

"No!" Xu Su flung his hand away and took several steps back. Looking at the hurt expression on the young man’s face, she said awkwardly, "Xi Zirong, I’m sorry."

She looked like she wanted nothing more than to bow in apology.

Seeing her expression, Xi Zirong chuckled. "It’s okay. Don’t feel guilty. You don’t need to apologize to me, either. This isn’t your fault. I’m the one who can’t move on, and I keep harassing you. You must be pretty annoyed, right?"

"...Don’t say that."

Xu Su was dying of guilt, and her nose began to sting. Her lips trembled. "If I could split myself in two, I would. One for you, and one for him. But I can’t. So, Xi Zirong, can you please seriously try to move on from me?"

"Hm, looks like I rank pretty high in your heart. Second place, at least."

Xi Zirong’s smile seemed more genuine this time. He nodded and said, "Don’t feel too bad about it. I’ll listen to you. I’ll try my best to move on. I can’t really stay a virgin my whole life, can I? To be honest, it’s pretty miserable."

Especially when you have someone you love, the unfulfilled desire is pure torment.

But this wasn’t something he should say to her. Xi Zirong leaned against the wall, his gaze lowered as he smiled. "But, if you ever get fed up with him, remember to come find me. I might just be stubborn enough to still be waiting for you."

’I’ll try my best to move on from you...’

Xu Su’s breath caught in her chest. She ignored the rest of what he said and just nodded frantically. "It’s good that you can see it that way. I’m going back inside."

’She firmly believed that as long as you were determined to move on from someone, time would take care of the rest. It was possible to move on from anything, and from anyone.’

’It would be for the best if he could move on...’

Xi Zirong hummed an "mm." "Go on in."

Xu Su turned to leave, but after a few steps, she couldn’t resist looking back. Xi Zirong was still standing in the same spot, leaning against the wall with his head down, giving off a faint air of gloom and world-weariness.

Her heart skipped a beat, and she almost turned back to comfort him...

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