All eyes were on me, and, for the first time all evening, I was glad for it. I wanted them all to hear what I had to say.

"Father never treated Lori and me with any respect. That’s without question, because had there been a single fiber of respect for us as people, I wouldn’t have been sold at an auction like I was furniture or livestock. We were nothing but his objects to use and abuse. Pawns for him to utilize in whatever game he was playing. And when he wasn’t using us, we were to stay out of sight, out of mind, and completely obedient. The only one who stood up for us, ever, was Martin."

Tears were stinging my eyes not at my outburst, but of the very mention of sweet Martin. He was ripped from life too soon, especially for having been such a pure spirit. He had never been tainted by our father, whereas Freddy and Edward had worshiped his every word and move as though it were the gospel.

As I held back tears, I held Freddy’s gaze, feeling unafraid for the first time in days at the thought of being in his presence. "How can you possibly say you understand he was a monster, when you practically spat in my face when I told you what he had done to me?"

The silence hung in the air. I could see, even from across the large table, that his pupils were dilated, his chest rising and falling rapidly, and a tinge of emotion tightening his expression. For a moment, I really thought he was also trying to hold himself back from tears. What was to come next, I would have never been able to see coming.

"We are well aware of how cruel father could be, in theory. Things he had said, that’s all they had ever been. Words. It was intimidation that he ruled with. And as awful as he was, we never thought he would do that. We never thought that, because we were completely brainwashed by him. And honestly, we were afraid of him. You two weren’t the only one he controlled with fear," Freddy finally answered, his eyes shifting to Edward.

I sank down into my seat in a mixture of confusion and my knees attempting to give out on me from the shock.

I stared at them both, unsure what to say. They were going to have to just continue, I hadn’t any idea what they were meaning by that. By my perspective, they were always spoiled and followed our dad around like eager little puppies.

Edward was the one to continue. "At first, we weren’t blind to how he treated you both. Of course we weren’t. However, when we brought it up to him, we were shut down. We were told to shut up and mind our business; that it’s just how the world worked. When we approached him when we were a little older, he flew off the handle. He said that if you two were so important to us, he would just send you off. That we couldn’t be distracted. He threatened to surrender you both to foster care and would come up with these horrible stories about how awful foster care was."

"For a while, we went along with it, thinking at least being with him would be safer and more comfortable for you," Freddy continued. "For a while, we ignored you for your safety. Then, it turned into his looming threat. That we were sure you would be sent away. As selfish as it sounds, we ignored you both so that it wouldn’t hurt when you went away. After years of that mindset, and being so close to him, we began to believe what he said. How could we not? He was our only mentor, our leader. It really was like being brainwashed because soon after he left, and we were sort of lost, we really started to realize how tight of a hold he had on us."

"We couldn’t even get into the office for a while, because he was the only one with the key. We didn’t know how much was in the bank. We were, in all sense of the matter, adult children. We had no power over our daily life. Those first struggles to function, really had this rippled effect. We know how awful we were to you, especially when you reached out with how he sold you. We had every reason to believe it, but I guess we didn’t want to. Partly because we were blinded by our allegiance to him, and partly because we had all the warning signs for it and did nothing. To say we’re ashamed is to put it lightly," Edward got out in a weak voice, his throat seeming choked with emotion.

It felt like the wind was knocked out of me. There were so many thoughts and emotions swirling in my head that I could feel myself threatening to shut down. I couldn’t. I needed to stay present.

It was just hard to restructure my view on them after so many years and after so much hurt. I didn’t have to question if what they were saying was true, as it was clear by their faces and their tones. They were ashamed, they were remorseful, and they had been just as abused as I had been.

Everyone stayed frozen and silent for quite some time as we all marinated in the information they had finally revealed. I couldn’t believe how toxic our own father had been, even to his golden children—if you could even consider them that after what they said. They had just been our father’s way of cementing his legacy and nothing more.

We were all pawns, not just Lori and me.

While the two of them had certainly treated me with an abundance of harshness and callousness, there was a nausea coming over me because of my own actions. I had never stopped to think about how they had been treated and why they were so cruel, but had only seen them as my father’s lap dogs. They were both such strong men, they had always been, and it really showed just how strong of a hold that my father had over them.

I reflected that it was going to take a long time for us to all individually heal from it, and maybe, hopefully, we could support one another through the process.

The thought caused emotion to form a lump in my throat. I squeezed Roman’s hand under the table. 𝘧𝓇𝑒𝑒𝑤ℯ𝑏𝓃𝘰𝑣ℯ𝘭.𝘤ℴ𝘮

"I’m sorry," I managed to get out in a whisper. "I didn’t know..."

"There was no way for you to," Freddy sighed.

"I’ve treated you both pretty terribly and had never stopped to think why you two acted the way you did. I just thought it was the way you were," I frowned.

"It’s fair to have done that," he assured me. "We never gave you a reason to question that. Honestly, for years, we were just mindless drones for dad. We’ve only now gotten some clarity. I would say we haven’t even unpacked all of it... It’ll come with time. But maybe, we can do it all together and heal as a little family."

I gave Freddy the first genuine smile I think I had ever given him. "You read my mind."

After another prolonged silence, where we wanted to resume the evening but no one knew how, Lori chirped, "Is there dessert?"

We all shared a light and rather awkward laugh before Edward assured her there was, and we all began eating again. My head was still a mess and I was going to think on things for the foreseeable future, but there was a weight lifted from me. My brothers weren’t monsters and they weren’t men to fear—they were just boys who had been used and abused by our father. In different ways than I had, but that didn’t make it any less valid.

Once we were done eating, we went and sat in the living room. The conversation had been a bit awkward and basic for a while, but little by little, it was lifted into a light and pleasant place.

"So, are you two gonna be popping out us some nieces and nephews any time soon?" Freddy asked Roman with a grin on his face.

I let out a stifled laugh. "Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. It feels like we just actually got married."

"Just curious," Freddy laughed.

Edward chimed in, "You two seem to mesh together so well. And Roman, I know after all you’ve heard and witnessed that it likely doesn’t hold much weight, but you have my approval. You seem protective and caring for Hannah. We couldn’t ask for much more."

"You can," Roman stated. "You should want someone loving, but I assure you, there’s an abundance of it."

I smiled up at Roman brilliantly.

Then, there was a flash and a shutter sound. We all looked up to see Lori standing there with a polaroid camera, a photo printing from the top. She wagged it with a big grin on her face. "Hopefully this is the first of many memories."

"Cheers to that," Freddy replied, raising his beer in solidarity.

I couldn’t wipe the grin from my face. I really hoped it was.