Ye jun

Dad cleared his throat real loud again and looked right at me across the table. "Ye Jun, you sure you’re really okay? You ran out of here pretty fast."

This huge wave of relief hit me so hard I almost smiled. He wasn’t digging deeper. No questions about why Si Woo jumped up too. No sniffing around or suspicious looks. Just that one thing. My shoulders dropped and I let out this long breath.

"Yeah Dad. Nothing’s wrong. Just the stomach bug acting up again. I’m fine now. Really."

Mom still had that worried face but she nodded slow and went back to picking at her food. Si Woo didn’t say a word. He just kept eating like the whole thing was normal. The rest of dinner felt like it lasted forever. Dad kept talking about his promotion and how much more money we would have and all the new responsibilities. Mom was already planning what clothes she wanted to pack for Jeju. I pushed my food around the plate and tried not to think about how everything was falling apart while they sounded so happy.

After dinner the parents finally went to bed. I lay in my room staring at the ceiling for what felt like hours. I couldn’t get comfortable no matter how I turned. My back hurt. My stomach felt tight. Then this crazy craving came out of nowhere. Not just any craving. I needed strawberry cheesecake ice cream. The exact one from that 24-hour store across town. The kind with the thick graham cracker bits mixed in. My mouth started watering so bad I could taste it even though it wasn’t there. I tried to ignore it. I told myself it was stupid. But the craving got stronger and stronger until I couldn’t lie there anymore.

I got up and went to Si Woo’s room. The house was dark and quiet. I shook his shoulder. "Si Woo. Wake up."

He made this sleepy noise and turned over like I wasn’t even there.

I shook him harder. "Si Woo come on. I need you to wake up right now."

Still nothing. This guy slept like the dead. My craving was turning into real anger fast. Why couldn’t he just open his eyes like a normal person?

I went to his bathroom, filled a cup with cold water, and walked back. Without thinking twice I dumped the whole thing right on his head.

Si Woo shot straight up gasping and spitting water. "What the fuck Ye Jun! Are you fucking crazy?"

He wiped his face fast with both hands. His hair was dripping all over the pillow and his eyes looked ready to kill me. "It’s two in the morning! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I want strawberry cheesecake ice cream," I said crossing my arms tight. "The one from the store on the other side of town. With the graham cracker stuff in it."

He stared at me like I had lost my mind completely. "You poured water on my head for ice cream?"

"Yeah. And you’re going right now to get it for me."

Si Woo let out this loud angry laugh that didn’t sound funny at all. "You’ve completely lost it. Go back to your room and sleep."

"I don’t care what time it is. I need that ice cream right now. Either you go buy it or I walk straight to Mom and Dad’s room and tell them everything. The pregnancy. The baby. That it’s yours. All of it. I’ll do it while Dad is still half asleep so it hits him harder."

His face changed quick. The anger was still there but now I could see real panic in his eyes. "You wouldn’t dare."

"Try me. I’m pregnant with your kid. I feel like shit all the time. And right now all I want is that stupid ice cream. So what’s it gonna be big brother?"

Si Woo sat there dripping wet staring at me. His jaw was tight and I could see him fighting with himself. He wanted to yell at me so bad but he knew I had him trapped.

"Fine," he snapped after a long minute. "But you’re a real asshole for this."

"Yeah well you’re the one who knocked me up so I think we’re even."

He got out of bed still muttering curses under his breath and started pulling on a hoodie and jeans. "This is insane. There’s probably no place open that even sells that exact flavor this late."

"I don’t care. Figure it out."

Si Woo grabbed his keys and wallet and gave me one last death glare. "If I get pulled over for speeding because of your dumb craving I’m blaming you."

"Good. Just bring the ice cream first then we can talk about jail."

The door slammed behind him hard enough to make me jump. The house went quiet again. I went back to my room and tried to wait. At first I felt kind of excited. My body was sure the ice cream would fix everything. But after an hour the nausea came back and I started feeling guilty. What kind of person wakes their brother up at 2am and blackmails him with their secret baby just for ice cream? By the time two hours had passed I was curled up on my bed feeling stupid and sad. My eyes kept getting wet and I had to wipe them a lot.

Around 5am I finally heard the front door open. Si Woo walked into my room looking completely dead. His eyes were red and tired. His hair was still messy from the water. He was holding a plastic bag in one hand.

"Here," he said shoving the bag at me. "I drove to three different stores. Had to go all the way to the one near the highway exit. They only had the big tub so it cost me almost thirty thousand won."

I took the bag and opened it slow. The second I looked at the ice cream container my stomach turned over. The craving was completely gone. I didn’t want it anymore. Not even one bite.

"I don’t want it," I mumbled pushing the bag back toward him.

Si Woo’s eyes went wide. "What?"

"I said I don’t want it anymore. The craving just disappeared."

He stood there frozen for a second then his whole face twisted with pure anger. "You made me drive around for three hours in the middle of the night. You poured cold water on my head. You threatened to tell Dad everything. And now you don’t even want it?"

"I can’t help it okay? Pregnancy stuff is weird. One minute I need something so bad and the next minute I feel sick just looking at it."

"No." He grabbed a spoon from my desk and shoved it into my hand. "You’re eating this. All of it. I didn’t risk my life driving half asleep on empty roads for nothing."

"But I feel sick now..."

"Eat it Ye Jun."

"Si Woo come on..."

"Eat it or I swear I’ll go wake Dad up myself right now and tell him you’ve been stress-eating my bank account and my entire sanity along with it."

I glared at him hard but he glared right back. He wasn’t moving. His arms were crossed and his foot was tapping fast on the floor. I could see how tired he was. How mad he was. But there was something else in his eyes too. Something that looked a lot like worry mixed with the anger.

I took the spoon slowly and scooped a tiny bit of the ice cream. It tasted too sweet now. My stomach didn’t want it but I forced the bite down anyway.

Si Woo watched me like a hawk. "More."

"You’re such a pain in the ass," I muttered but I took another bite.

"And you’re a spoiled pregnant brat," he shot back. His voice cracked a little at the end like he was just as tired and lost as me.

I kept eating under his stare. The room was dead quiet except for the sound of the spoon hitting the sides of the tub. My chest felt tight. One minute I wanted to laugh at how ridiculous this whole night was. Waking him up. Pouring water on him. Blackmailing him. Making him drive for hours. The next minute I wanted to cry because none of this was funny. Not really.

Because no matter how stupid and chaotic it got the truth was still sitting right there between us. Mom and Dad were going on their second honeymoon soon. Dad wanted to send Si Woo abroad for months. I was getting bigger every day with a baby nobody could know about. And Si Woo was the only one who knew. The only one who could help. But we were supposed to be stopping. We were supposed to act like brothers. Everything felt so messed up.

Si Woo finally sat down on the edge of my bed. He rubbed his face with both hands hard like he was trying to wake himself up more.

"What the hell are we doing Ye Jun?"

I didn’t answer right away. I just kept taking small bites of the ice cream I didn’t even want. My eyes were stinging bad now. I blinked fast trying not to let the tears fall.

"I don’t know," I said finally. My voice came out smaller than I wanted. "I really don’t know anymore."

He let out a long sigh and looked at the floor. "You can’t keep doing this shit. Pouring water on me. Threatening to blow everything up. It’s not fair."

"Yeah well it’s not fair that I’m the one stuck here getting sick every day while you might get shipped off across the ocean. Did you think about that?"

Si Woo didn’t say anything for a minute. When he finally spoke his voice was quieter. "I told Dad I’m not sure about going abroad right now. But he really wants me to do it. Says it’s good for the family."

"Good for the family," I repeated with a bitter laugh. "That’s all they care about. The perfect family picture. The promotion. The honeymoon. Meanwhile I’m in here eating ice cream I don’t want because my body is acting crazy and you’re the only one who can help but we’re not even supposed to be talking like this."

He looked at me then. Really looked. For a second I thought he might reach out and touch my hand or something but he didn’t. He just sat there with his shoulders slumped.

"You think I want to leave you like this?" he asked. "You think any of this is easy for me?"

"I don’t know what you feel anymore. We said we’d stop. We said it was a mistake. But every time something happens you’re right there. And every time I push you away it feels worse."

My voice cracked at the end and I hated it. I took another bite of ice cream just to have something to do. It was starting to make me feel even sicker but I kept going because Si Woo was still watching.

He rubbed the back of his neck. "I hate seeing you like this. Running to the bathroom during dinner. Looking scared all the time. And now this. Waking me up at 2am like a crazy person."

"Yeah well I hate it too," I said. "I hate all of it. I hate that I need you. I hate that I don’t want you to go abroad. I hate that I poured water on your head and now I feel bad about it even though you deserved it a little."

Si Woo gave a small tired laugh. "I definitely didn’t deserve the water."

"You didn’t wake up. What else was I supposed to do?"

"Shake me harder. Yell. Not pour cold water on me like some kind of psychopath."

I shrugged and took another bite. "It worked didn’t it?"

He shook his head but the corner of his mouth twitched like he was fighting a smile. "You’re impossible."

We sat there for a while. Me eating the ice cream slowly. Him watching me with that mix of anger and something softer. The sky outside was starting to get a little lighter. Morning was coming and we still had to act normal when the parents woke up.

Si Woo finally stood up. "Finish that tub. I’m not letting you waste it after everything I went through."

I groaned trying to keep it and he dead stared at me.