The Yellow-Haired Villain in Soaring Phoenix's Novels Also Desires Happiness
Chapter 53: The Advantage Is Mine!
“Huh?”
Muen froze, as if struck by lightning.
“Big guy, what did you just say?”
“I said I’m here to rob your virtue!”
Afraid Muen hadn’t heard him clearly the first time, Scarface raised his voice even louder, shaking the surrounding leaves loose from the trees.
Yes, I heard you, you freak—but the problem is...
“I’m a man! ”
Muen slapped a hand against his own pectorals, voice rising in panic.
“Big bro, look closer! Don’t let my devastating good looks cloud your judgment—I’m a dude!” 𝑓𝑟ℯ𝘦𝓌𝘦𝘣𝑛𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓁.𝑐ℴ𝓂
“Yeah, I see that.”
Scarface’s eyes flicked down toward Muen’s crotch, then curved into a wicked smile.
“It’s because you’re a man that I’m robbing your virtue. Otherwise, ask the little lady behind you—did I look at her body even once?”
“...”
Muen stiffly turned to glance back.
The girl, who’d been tense and hostile just moments ago, now wore a complicated expression. After a moment’s hesitation, she averted her gaze—unable to meet Muen’s desperate eyes—and gave a small, silent nod.
These bandits... really hadn’t ogled her at all.
“...!”
Something inside Muen audibly snapped.
Somebody help—there’s a damn male pervert here!
“Hmph. I suppose... this must be fate.”
Scarface’s rugged face turned a bit pink. A distant, sentimental look filled his eyes.
“From the moment I became a bandit, I dreamed of the day I’d cross paths with a brave young man—one willing to cast off his shame and reveal his true self out here in the wilds.
Ideally... someone who’s a real freak.
But the world is full of cowards. True men, men willing to strip away their masks and embrace who they really are—they’re few and far between.
I’d given up hope...
And then I met you.”
Eyes shimmering with emotion, Scarface said with unshakable conviction:
“To greet strangers without fear... to bare your entire self with pride... you are the real deal—a true deviant!
That’s why I know—you’re the one I’ve been waiting for!”
Scarface reached out a hand, voice ringing with sincerity.
“So come with me! I’ll ride a rainbow cloud to marry you—be my bandit bride!”
Muen: “...”
The girl: “...”
Bandit D: sniffle “Boss works so hard, robbing people just to feed us, and still hasn’t given up on chasing his dreams... He’s beautiful. I’m crying...”
“Hmph. He must be shy.”
Scarface watched Muen, now completely petrified, and smugly wiped his nose with a finger.
“Seems my charm hasn’t dulled at all.”
“...”
“You motherfucking sicko—!”
After a beat of stunned silence, Muen exploded in rage.
“Shadow Step!”
“Die, you perverted freak!”
In a blur of motion, Muen closed the distance and drove a vicious uppercut straight into Scarface’s jaw.
Now that he’d reached Tier 2 and awakened Battle Aura, Muen’s physical power had surged far beyond his past limits.
The result?
The hulking Scarface, who was easily several times Muen’s size, was launched into the air—flying back over ten meters, crashing through several thick tree trunks before finally coming to a stop.
“Damn—did I just do that?”
Even Muen was momentarily stunned by his new strength. But then a cocky grin spread across his face, and he planted his fists on his hips.
“Learned your lesson, you disgusting perv? Calling me a deviant? You’re the degenerate here! Your whole family is full of freaks!”
“Boss!”
The remaining bandits screamed in panic and rushed to Scarface.
“Cough, cough... I’m fine.”
Scarface shoved their hands away and stood up on his own, spitting out a bloodied tooth with a careless smirk.
“No wonder you’re my future bandit bride—got a real punch on you. Rougher than I expected... but I like it!”
“...Motherfucker.”
Muen shivered.
Why did these freaks keep finding him? What kind of divine grudge did fate hold against him?
Would it kill the heavens to drop a sweet, cute girl into his life for once?!
“If my bride wants to play hard to get, then I’ll play along!”
Scarface roared and raised his greatsword high—then brought it down in a savage arc.
That range?!
Muen’s pupils contracted.
Alarms blared in his head.
Without hesitation, he twisted his body, dodging to the side.
A slash—several meters long and as wide as a man’s arm—gouged into the ground where he’d just stood.
Every hair on Muen’s body stood on end.
That was... a sword wave?
No—that was externalized Battle Aura.
The bastard’s a Tier 2 warrior too. At least mid-to-late stage!
Goddammit—if you’re this strong, what the hell are # Nоvеlight # you doing as a bandit?!
You could’ve had a decent job, joined the military, anything better than this!
“Haha! Didn’t I say it? I became a bandit to wait for my one true love!”
Scarface cackled and lunged like a bear, crashing toward Muen with terrifying force.
“And now, here you are!”
“Stay the hell away from me, you perv! I only like cute girls!”
“Shadow Step!”
Muen dodged again.
But he knew this couldn’t go on.
Even though the side effects of Shadow Step had lessened after his breakthrough, it still wasn’t something he could spam forever.
And in a battle of stamina, there was no way he could outlast this bear of a man.
If he ran out of energy—
Then he’d be at his mercy.
And then...
“Bride... Just give in already...”
“Heh heh... There’s nowhere left to run.”
“Cry all you want. Scream until your voice breaks—no one’s coming.”
“Now tell me, do you want the black fishnet bodystocking? Or the bunny-girl suit? I’m flexible.”
AAAGGGHHH!!
Why is my brain even imagining this?!
That’s not a mental image—it’s a damn hell painting!
No. No. Get out of my head, now!
“No.”
Muen’s eyes lit up with a terrifying determination.
“Even if I die—I will not lose!”
Tier 2 beginner vs. Tier 2 late stage.
Bare fists against a greatsword.
Advantage: Me.
“Gimme that!”
Of course, Muen wasn’t dumb enough to charge in empty-handed.
He used Shadow Step again—vanishing and reappearing right in front of a bystander bandit. One punch dropped the guy like a sack of potatoes, and Muen immediately snatched the greatsword from his hands.
Weapon acquired—finally some relief—not.
I’ve never used a greatsword before! What the hell am I supposed to do with this?! Where’s the instruction manual?!
Coach! I wanna learn how to use a greatsword!!
Naturally, Scarface wasn’t about to give him time to figure it out. The moment Muen was distracted with internal screaming, the man surged forward again—same attack as before, brutally direct—
But this time, as Muen raised the stolen greatsword—
A terrifying pull surged through it, dragging him toward Scarface’s strike like a magnet.
Muen couldn’t even react fast enough to use Shadow Step.
Shit.
That’s—
A martial skill!
Muen’s eyes widened in horror.
He’d gotten cocky.
After reaching Tier 2 and getting near-instant access to Shadow Step, he’d let his guard down.
How could he forget—if he could use martial skills...
Then so could everyone else.
“Fuck!”
Teeth gritted, Muen had no choice but to bring up the unfamiliar greatsword and try to parry.
But come on.
With his slim limbs and zero greatsword experience, how the hell was he supposed to block a monster like Scarface?
This is it.
Muen Campbell.
...Once again staring down the cruel, familiar face of death.