Adrien never came back to unlock the locker door.

I slammed my fists against the metal door until they were bruised.

I cried and cried until my eyes hurt.

I was so scared. So fucking scared.

So afraid of the dark.

Even after screaming and begging for help, no one came.

No one noticed I was missing from class.

No one bothered to look for me.

No one came to save me.

I...didn’t belong here.

I had nobody to save me.

So I stayed in that locker for the rest of the day, until a janitor finally found me.

And from that day on, I no longer wished to make friends.

...

’...ves!’

A voice rang in my mind.

Who was it?

’Yves!’

It came louder this time, pulling me out of the flashback.

I was no longer in that locker. I was back in the hole.

I was no longer Idal. I was Yves, a character from my book

And the voice in my head was Ezio, my Shadow Guardian.

Even though I wasn’t in that locker, the hole was no different. I still couldn’t get out.

How many years had it been since I last thought about that day?

I was stupid to think I could just push through this when I still hadn’t gotten over the trauma.

No matter how much I tried, I just couldn’t.

Since then I had been scared of tight spaces and crowds. I would always have a panic attack. That was why I had been home-schooled instead. It was better that way.

I don’t need your pity though. I did that to myself.

If I hadn’t been so desperate to be accepted, none of it would have happened.

It was my own fault.

Why was I even so desperate to be accepted?

’Yves! I called you many times and you didn’t reply, you just kept crying.’ Ezio sounded worried. ’Let’s go back. I’ll teleport us out—’

"No." I said.

’What?’ Ezio said in disbelief. ’You were suffocating minutes ago and now you don’t want to leave? Are you listening to yourself?’

It would have been such a relief to let him teleport us out, and as much as I wanted to, I couldn’t.

Going back would set us behind, and the creature I needed to level up my story would have appeared by then. I would miss my window.

That would throw my whole plan off. So I had to keep moving forward whether I liked it or not.

My heart was still pounding, my breathing still heavy, my face still wet with tears.

But if I ever wanted to beat this trauma, this was the first step.

I closed my eyes and did my best to quiet my thoughts. I couldn’t silence them completely, controlling the mind wasn’t that simple, but it was enough to take the edge off.

’Kid, I’m getting you out—’ I felt the shadows stir.

"Ezio, please listen to me."

’But—’

"Please. I’m not even ordering you. I’m just asking you to listen."

Ezio went quiet.

After a moment he sighed. ’Okay. I’m listening.’

I hesitated, weighing whether to say it or not. Then my lips parted.

"I’m scared of tight spaces. Whenever I’m somewhere that restricts my movement, I panic. It goes back to something that happened when I was younger."

Ezio didn’t reply right away. He stayed quiet, as if choosing his words carefully.

’Then why did you come in here, and why didn’t you tell me?’ His voice was calmer now.

I clenched my fists. "Because I thought maybe doing this would help me face the fear."

I smiled bitterly. "As you can see, it didn’t work."

A pause, then I continued.

"And I didn’t tell you because I thought you’d call me a coward."

’I definitely would have...at first.’ Ezio chuckled.

"Knowing you, yeah." I gave a small laugh.

’But I wouldn’t mock you for it.’

"Really?"

’Really. Everyone is scared of something. No matter how old you get or how strong you become, there will always be something that they will be scared of. No one is above that.

’Fear is part of being human.’

I listened and felt my heart slow down a little.

I knew I wasn’t going to overcome this today. But at least I had a clearer sense of how to carry it.

"Phew." I took a long breath and let it out slowly.

I had to stay calm. The oxygen in here was already thin, and panic would only make it worse.

In. Out. Slow and steady.

"Ezio, talk to me while I crawl. I think it will help." I said.

’Okay. But ah, what do I talk about?’

"Anything." I said.

I activated my ability, formed the dark claws from my fingertips, and drove them into the stone. I pulled. Nothing moved at first. Then I poured mana into my arms and pulled again, and I came unstuck, inching forward.

"Ezio, come on." I said, pressing my nails into the right wall to drag myself along.

’Ok, ok. What do we talk about...’

He seemed uncertain so I helped him out.

"Ezio, what’s your type of woman?" I asked.

’...’

Silence.

"There’s no way you don’t have a type. You’re older than me, you’ve probably had plenty of experiences."

’...’

Wait, was he...?

A smile crept onto my face.

"Hah. So you’ve got no experience at all? That’s wild."

’H-Hey!! Who said I have no experience?! I’ve dated plenty of women!’ Ezio shot back.

"Sure you have."

’It’s true! With a face like mine, there’s no way I wouldn’t!’

"..."

I said nothing.

’What?’

"You’re ugly, Ezio. So yeah, there’s definitely a way." I chuckled.

’Ahhhhhhhh! You and that word!’

I laughed, and somehow it made my chest feel lighter.

’You’re a virgin too, so don’t judge!’ Ezio huffed.

Ouch.

Fair, though. I had been one in my past life and still was in this one.

"I’m not ashamed. I think you should only be with someone you truly love, someone who loves you back."

Because honestly, my generation back home had gotten so caught up in hookup culture that it seemed like everyone had forgotten what genuine love even looked like.

’Hmm. That’s rare to hear. Most noble boys your age are already fooling around with their maids. I was honestly surprised that day you turned the maid down.’

Oh right, that. The maid who had asked if I needed any special assistance with my bath.

Hard pass.

"I mean what I say. When I find someone I love, and who loves me back, that’s when." I said.

I continued crawling.

"You still didn’t answer. What’s your type?" I asked again. "Our whole relationship rides on your next answer."

’Hmmm...’

He went quiet, as if genuinely thinking it over.

Then:

’A tall woman with a fat ass.’

"God, you are literally me."

’Wait, that’s your type too?’

"Obviously. Who wouldn’t?" I said.

No, seriously. That combination was undefeated.

’What about a tomboy with the same traits?’ Ezio asked quickly.

"Oh, that’s not just acceptable, that’s even better. And the final touch would be if..."

’...she’s older!’

"...she’s older!"

We said it at the exact same time.

This man was my brother.

We both laughed.

"We’re basically the same person." I said.

’Brothers...?’

"Yeah, brothers. Same taste in women, similar powers. What else would you call it?"

’I suppose that’s true.’

Ezio had been the person I spent the most time with since I took over Yves’s body. He knew some of what I could do, not everything. We had been travelling together for over a week now and I had genuinely gotten used to having him around.

At first I had wondered whether bringing him along was the right call. Now I knew it was the best decision I had made.

And he was the first person, outside of my parents, that I had been able to have a real conversation with. Since I never really had friends, that meant something.

It was refreshing. Real shared interests instead of manufactured ones just to fit in.

’So if we’re brothers, I’m the older one, right?’ Ezio asked.

"Obviously. I’m not old like you."

’Tsk, this kid. If I’m the elder, show some respect!’

"You wish, Mr Ugly."

’...’

’You are impossible.’ Ezio grumbled.

"Haha. But seriously, how old are you?"

I had never actually asked.

’Twenty-eight.’ Ezio replied.

"Damn, you’re ancient."

’Who are you calling ancient? I’m still in my twenties! And my skin is flawless, thank you!’

"You’re pushing thirty. Practically an old geezer."

’Shut up.’

Jokes aside, he really did look younger than his age. And he was probably the youngest Shadow Guardian I knew of.

"When’s your birthday?"

Ezio didn’t answer.

"Ezio?"

’I don’t remember.’

I frowned. "What do you mean you don’t remember?"

’When you’re raised as an assassin in the Schatten family, birthdays don’t really matter.’ Ezio said, his tone going cold.

Ah. I had almost forgotten what kind of world he had grown up in.

The Schatten family.