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... om of Scotland, Lothian, Edinburgh, Palace of Holyroodhouse

[Hey Dipshit,

Read this letter in private. Otherwise, your loyal ministers and subjects will learn that their almighty Emperor, their heaven, answers to his thirteenth concubine.

I know you have always envied my chivalry, or martial spirit, whatever you choose to call it, ever since you first heard of it. Here is your chance to have it.

Let my brother take my children back to my homeland and raise them as ...

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