Ex-husband, Behave Yourself - Chapter 61

During the Chunin Exams, a mysterious screen hijacks Konoha's arena, broadcasting the shinobi world's most shocking secrets, pivotal future events, and utterly embarrassing moments, sending Kages, legends, and genin alike into a hilarious frenzy.The air crackles with anticipation during Konoha's Chunin Exams. Genin face off, crowds roar... and then, BAM!A gigantic projection screen materializes out of thin air above the packed arena, silencing everyone. This is not on the schedule. Before anyone can react, it flickers to life, broadcasting scenes that should never see the light of day.Get ready for reactions that rewrite history (and dignity):Mei Terumi (Fifth Mizukage): *Eyes widening, then narrowing suspiciously*: “Hold on... Madara Uchiha's 'invincible' fire style... extinguished by a Water Barrier? Is this some kind of advanced Genjutsu prank, or did someone seriously just splash water on the apocalypse?”Ōnoki (Third Tsuchikage): *Clutching his lower back*: “My aching joints! And the screen says I'm going to willingly ride atop the Fourth Raikage like some kind of... decrepit flying squirrel?! Preposterous! My back couldn't take that speed!”A (Fourth Raikage): *Face turning purple, with veins popping* :“WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?! STOP LOOPING THE FOOTAGE OF MINATO MAKING BEE LOOK LIKE A FOOL! TURN IT OFF! BEE, IF YOU START RAPPING TO THIS, I SWEAR I'LL LARIAT YOU INTO NEXT WEEK!”(Nearby, Killer Bee subtly starts beatboxing under his breath, yo!)Hiruzen Sarutobi (Third Hokage): *Sweating profusely as Kushina Uzumaki glares daggers from the stands, holding a spectral frying pan*: “K-Kushina, my dear! That scene where Naruto painted the Hokage Monument... again... it was taken completely out of context! He was... expressing youthful exuberance! Yes! And I definitely didn't bribe him with ramen to clean it up! Please, listen to reason... and put the ethereal kitchenware down?”Danzō Shimura: *Eyes colder than ice*: “Exposing Root operations? Revealing my contingency plans... or lack thereof in that particular future? Unacceptable. This screen poses a threat to Konoha's stability. It must be... Eliminated Permanently.” (He discreetly signals an Anbu who immediately bowed).Uchiha Madara (From an undisclosed location, sensing a disturbance in the Force... err, Chakra) : “An unseen hand manipulating the narrative? Revealing destiny's secrets before their time? Insolence! Who dares play director with my grand stage?!”From Kage summits gone wrong to legendary shinobi's secret guilty pleasures (did Jiraiya really wear that?), the screen reveals all.The entire shinobi world watches, mouths agape. Hidden truths are dragged into the sunlight, future tragedies are foreshadowed, alliances tremble, and enemies start taking very detailed notes.One question burns hotter than Amaterasu: 'Who is behind this chaotic broadcast, and what earth-shattering secret will they expose next.'

In a world where martial artists reign supreme, strength is everything. Unfortunately, that logic doesn't apply to a certain Florida Man.

Refined in the nuclear fallout wasteland, Leo was the strongest mutant alive. He carried an alien artifact, allowing him to exchange his lifespan for modern items. After 50,000 years of solitary life in a humanless world, he collected enough lifespan to transmigrate to another habitable world.

Leo was later thrown into a mysterious planet. He soon discovered that his body produced radiation, and it mutated the surrounding plants and grasses. Worrying that he might ruin the beautiful planet, he chose to live in seclusion.

Unfortunately, the local population soon discovered his existence, and a misunderstanding ensued.

“You want to steal my genes then leave?” He grabbed her and tried to force her to hand over the child that was born three years ago.

Transmigrating into the novel, [The Emperor of Luck] Gu Xia received the despair villain system and became a small villain who is destined to be face slapped by the protagonist then eventually killed.

Having been through the plot thousands of times and being failed by the system every time, he finally snapped.

“System! What did I do wrong this time!?”

[Host, please calm down... There has been an error in the world that I have no control over. As an apology I can grant you extra rewards once you complete the plot!]

Gritting his teeth and having bloodshot red eyes Gu Xia finally had enough.

[I quit being the villain! Fuck the plot, fuck the heroine's, fuck the protagonist, fuck everyone, I just want to live my life without being face slapped! I QUIT!]

Unknowing to him all of the heroines could now hear his inner voice…