How to Get Girls, Get Rich, and Rule the World (Even If You're Ugly) - Chapter 26: How to Escape a Trap with Rhymes and Improvisation

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*Lemons? - In excess!!!*

*V's? - Of course yes!!*

*Plot? - Divine!!

[Stop right here cultured bros and sis. Hope you are skillful with holding your phone in one hand? Because I bet ya, you'll need to, lol]...

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“Put some pants on, your d**k is staring at me” the lady in white heavenly transparent attire said to Alex. Alex looked around trying to figure out if truly this was heaven and if he had died. He wasn't all too sad about it because at the end, if heaven had naked women walking around, then it did live up to the hype.

“You are dead but it's a bit complicated. You see, I know a way you can go back, but I can't guarantee you'd get what you want. Do you want to go through with being reborn?” The lady with the alluring body said to Alex. With every word escaping her kissable lips, Alex listened with keen attention. Of course he would, for all he knew, he was basically staring at a god's p*ssy. That alone had beat all the accomplishments of his life time.

“Yes, I'll do it,” Alex agreed to being a subject of the lady's experiment knowing fully well it could be the end of him.

******

Alex Riley, a man in his late thirties whose life changed into a nightmare when he caught his wife cheating with his boss. Frustrated, Alex left his apartment but little did he know he was living his life behind as a terrible accident occurred that lead to his boss and wife dying.

Alex is pinned down for the death of the two. Alex now having spent about a lifetime in prison finally decides to give into the charms of his prison Warden, Brenda.

Brenda had chased Alex for years but finally, she got hold of him. Now engaged in the act with Brenda or as he was about to, Alex discovered Brenda might be too much for him.

Alex died a pitiful and ridiculous death. His whole life ended in a flash as he found himself drifting away from Brenda's unrestrained bouncing on him.

But second chance awaits Alex and he looks to make good use of it.

Now reborn in a new world, Alex finds himself starting over. A new start..a very very different world from the one he knew before.

However, Alex runs into the impossible.

Alex finds himself in a squabble with a god, the lust god.

And of course Alex was defeated but not just that. The lust got made Alex his herald.

Now blessed with a system by the lust god, Alex is tasked with the heavy burden of collecting wives.

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Guys here is my pitch.....In the sprawling world of fantasy, we’ve often been treated to tales of heroes reincarnated with divine blessings, legendary powers, or cheat-like abilities, thrust into magical lands as shining saviors—or chaotic terrors. But what happens when the very concept of reincarnation becomes a curse? When the divine boon is a big fat joke, and the “cheat system” doesn’t quite… cheat?Enter John, the unluckiest reincarnate. Blessed by a god and thrust into a fantasy world, he dreams of glory, power, and adventure—only to wake up as a normal, utterly powerless bird. Not a mythical phoenix, not an ancient thunder eagle. Just… a bird.To make matters worse, this world is no ordinary realm. It's a land scarred by the devastating legacies of past isekai’d heroes and villains, whose reckless exploits piled skeletons into mountains and turned their cheats into harbingers of chaos. Fed up with these unruly intruders, the ancients of the realm banded together to create a world-shaking seal: all reincarnated souls are trapped in the bodies of harmless animals, confined to isolated sanctuaries that function more like fantasy zoos.Here’s the twist: this isn’t mercy. It’s a resource grab. The powerful beast tamers of this realm have turned these reincarnated souls into exotic pets, prized for their cheat-like potential.John finds himself at the bottom of the food chain in every sense. His cheat doesn’t work. His human form is gone. And his world is filled with predatory cultivators who see him as either a snack or a tool.But John isn’t one to give up so easily. What starts as despair quickly turns into cunning survival. With wings and wit as his only tools, John must navigate layers of misfortune, dodge fate’s sharp talons, and cheat his way through a world determined to keep him grounded.Get ready to join John on a wildly unconventional journey—one where reincarnation isn’t a ticket to greatness, but a death sentence he’s determined to rewrite. His story is one of humor, wit, and persistence, as he explores a world where he is the joke and his survival is the punchline.Main tags: reincarnation/isekai, beast taming cultivation system, comedy, action, adventure.Of course No-harem!

An infamous playboy, killed by a former lover, inexplicably awakens to discover himself transmigrated into a NTR manga, assuming the role of the antagonist - Alex Smith. Propelled by a mysterious system that magnifies his skill in captivating women, he holds the power to seduce the women that belong to the various “main characters“.

【Ding! The Queen of Hearts System has awakened.】

【Overall goal: Steal all the heroines from the various main characters across the world.】

【Reward: God Status.】

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Dear readers! Without any ads, maybe you will prefer .

A boy awakens alone in the Fairy Tail world, lost and uncertain. As he ventures through this magical realm, he unravels the secrets of his mysterious new identity, unlocks hidden powers, and carves out his destiny in a land brimming with wonder, danger, and limitless adventure.“Check out my other work, Reincarnated as Ash: A Pokémon Tale.”