How To Raise Your Regressor - Chapter 211 Suicide Jokes

Jiang Xiaoman was bound to a system when she was three years old. The system told her that she was the lost daughter of a wealthy family assigned to play the cannon fodder in this script. The fake daughter that her parents adopted was the heroine of the story. 

Jiang Xiaoman blinked her eyes and asked, “What is a cannon fodder?” 　 

System: “You all live in a book, and everyone is assigned their role. From now on, you should keep on blackening and be a bad child. Do you see that little boy? He has a bigger role than you, in the future, he will become the big bad villain. Why don’t you bully him now, and show him up real good!” 

The naïve Jiang Xiaoman picked a handful of colorful flowers and stuffed them into his hands. “I’m showing you something really good!” 

System: “…”

Darling, you got it all wrong! Not showing him something good that way!

The little boy: “I don’t need friends, I don’t need company. I’m just a burden that no one wants. It’s my destiny to be abandoned.” 

Jiang Xiaoman: “That’s wrong. Everyone’s existences have meaning. System said you are especially important, even more important than me. You’ll be a really really useful person in the future!” 

System: “…??”

Did it say that?? 

Later on, the system stopped giving Jiang Xiaoman any tasks. Jiang Xiaoman was very sorry and said, “Mr. System, why won’t you play with me anymore?” 

System: “… just try to grow up first and learn to understand every word! You’re killing me!!” 

Jiang Xiaoman worked hard to blacken (not really) under the system’s supervision until she was reunited with her wealthy parents. She scratched her little head and asked, “Mr. System, what about the task? Didn’t you say that we should fight over the family’s wealth?” 

System: “What kind of wealth do you still want to fight over? You already have more money than your wealthy parents!”

On Christmas day, seemingly overnight, God summoned everyone on Earth, giving every single person a 'Gift' along with a System.

These Gifts, synonimous with special abilities granted people powers beyond comprehension.

However, with these abilities came tragedy that enveloped the world. The Apocalypse!

Jeremy Lewis, a reclusive loner, is mysteriously exempt from this phenomenon and finds himself being the only one without a Gift.

God decides to grant him the last Gift available, [Subspace], and forcefully returns him to a world that has become hell.

Horrifying monsters now lurk around every corner, and inevitable death awaits.

Arming himself with his wits and the Gift he possesses, how will Jeremy survive this cruel new world that he finds himself in?

“Everything will go according to plan, and ultimately the path I have started will lead to my victory... these tools will be useful in achieving that!”

Linky transmigrated to the Magical Land and became the third young master of a noble family. Just when he thought it was time for him to enjoy a life of luxury.

He was sent out for the family’s tribulation, and had to set off to the “Land of Death”

— Black Wind Castle! Here, dark elves, frenzied orcs, and blood-thirsty dragons were regular occurrences! Everyone thought that Linky would surely die, and had even prepared to collect his body.

But just then, Linky awakened the [Super Gourmet System]. As such, things changed.

The Elf Queen loved his fruit salad, while the Orc Saint couldn’t get enough of his grilled steak. The Sorcerer of the Holy Palace couldn’t live a day without the “Linky Brand” whiskey.

Even the Vampire Prince Nikolas would sacrifice anything to get a long-term order of Linky’s fresh blood coffee.

Until one day, when a gargantuan dragon that blocked out the skies came to his door…

Initially, Lin Mo intended to become stronger through cultivating diligently. However, he discovered that staying idle was more comfortable. Most importantly, he could level up by doing nothing! Since he could achieve his goals by lying idle, why would he trouble himself to stand and work?

Lin Mo transmigrated to a martial arts world and realized that he had no talent in cultivating at all. Fortunately, he awakened the Idle Upgrade System. He could become stronger by staying away from the rat race and enjoying life.

Lin Mo lamented, “It’s not that I don’t want to work hard, but truly, there is no opportunity for me to do so.” As such, the most bizarre Martial Arts Saint in human history was born.