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And I, Ragnar Vhagar, the Tyrant of Aethelburg and a being of exquisite taste and A-Rank physical prowess, was starting to go existentially insane.
"This is a problem," I announced to the assembled commanders, my voice a low, dangerous purr that echoed off the crystal walls.
Pixia, my tiny, flying encyclopedia of all things statistical and annoying, zipped anxiously around my head.
"My Lord, a frontal assault on the human city of Suzu is statistically inadvisable!" ...
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