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... crises with thoughtful planning... and those who sat on their porch with a half-packed backpack, arguing with a tiny demon child over whether we needed to bring three frying pans.

I, regrettably, was both.

"I just think," Rhea said, balancing one of said pans on her head like a crown, "that a proper royal exile should include the means to fry eggs and intimidate squirrels."

"That's not a squirrel intimidation tool," I said, stuffing clothes into my worn-out duffel. "That' ...

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