I Swear I Don't Have A Python In My Pool - Chapter 8: Almost Scaring My Parents Witless!

Alex, a socially awkward guy with a mundane life, dies in the most ridiculous way imaginable — slipping on a banana peel while whacking off to an adult film. His embarrassing demise leads to an even stranger fate: he wakes up reincarnated as Jonny Sins, a rising star in a parallel universe where adult film actors are legendary heroes wielding unique powers of charm, seduction, and stamina.But life as a hero-pornstar is more complicated than it looks. Jonny is guided by Lustina, a seductive, snarky AI system offering him power-ups and quests — all with a price. As he navigates the absurdity of this erotic world, Alex discovers deeper mysteries about the System bound to him. Why was he chosen? What is Lustina’s true purpose? And why does the fate of the erotic multiverse seem to rest on his… performance?Armed with special techniques, limitless stamina, and newfound confidence, Alex must embrace his new identity as the Legendary Hero of Many Professions — doctor, soldier, astronaut, teacher… and aggressive step-daddy — to rise through the ranks and confront the ultimate threat to pleasure and freedom.It’s going to be a wild ride.–––[Jonny I've got an audition for you, are you interested?]Jonny: what's that?[Do you wanna act in a porn fraction? The role is an amateur twick is available for now]Jonny: Do you really want me to act as an amateur twick?.[If you aren't ok playing the role of an amateur twick, there is another role available. The role of an aggressive step daddy]Jonny: I choose the step daddy! I always loved to be a stepdad. I was born to play this role.

The real beast master: the pet beast charges forward, and the beast master can only cheer from the rear!

False beast master: The beast shouts six six six, and the beast master holds the sun and the moon to pick up the stars!

As a fake beast master, Chen Wen said that the pet beasts are all for him to bond with.

- Description from novelbuddy

For a certain LOL competition, a certain online streamer famous for pissing people off was currently explaining and broadcasting it at the same time.

Streamer: This support, so tr*sh.

Streamer: If that jungler was my teammate, I would already be idling at the fountain and playing piano for him by now.

Streamer: I recommend that this player go back and properly practice how to last hit.

Audience: What bullshit! If you’re any better, then you do it!

Streamer: Daddy I really can do it.

Audience: Okokok. If you can do it then I’ll chop off my head so you can kick it.

A few months later, LOL’s veteran pro team TTC announced a new mid laner, Soft. A boy with flashy blue hair appeared in front of the audience and played Zed to utter perfection, killing everyone he saw, causing all the female fans to begin toeing the line of infidelity.

During the MVP interview after the match, everyone held their breath and eagerly watched this newcomer.

Only to see the boy accept the microphone, smile and ask, “That water friend with the StarTV user ID ‘Suburb King 101,’ my team’s address is on the official website, when will you mail your head over?”

After a certain regular season match finished, the staff member went backstage to urge the team members to go onstage and conduct their interviews, only to see TTC’s new mid laner and jungler standing in the corner.

TTC’s number one ace · jungler daddy Road pressed their team’s new mid laner Soft against the wall. He lowered his eyes and asked lowly, “At the interview, do you know what you did?”

That quick-tempered mid laner, who had solidified his image as a troll in the audience’s eyes the very first time he went on stage, turned completely red. “I know. I won’t curse at anyone… I definitely won’t curse at anyone.”

Traveling through the Cultivation World, where Immortal and God exist, Li Su’s Spiritual Roots are tr*sh and when he thought everything is over, He obtained a System!

The System of Many Children-Many Blessings!

With each additional descendant he has, his lifespan extends and Cultivation increases!

Even the Cultivation of his Descendants feedback to him!

Therefore in order to achieve his goal of becoming an Immortal, he takes Concubine and makes babies crazily!

While Others beat other people to death on Cultivation Resources, Li Su is making babies.

While Others Cultivate in Seclusion for Hundred Years, Li Su is making babies for Hundred of Years!

That’s why when an Immortal Appeared and wanted to Destroy the Li Clan, Li Su appeared and killed him with one Finger everyone was stunned mute.

……………………………………………………………

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