Martial God Asura (Web Novel) - Chapter 11: Self Ridicule

Travel through the world of martial arts, get a god-level kidnapping system, and vow to be the number one kidnapper in the universe.

As long as you don’t want to tie it, there is nothing you can’t tie!

Guo Jing, your daughter has been kidnapped by Lao Tzu. If you don’t want me to do anything to her, you can exchange it with Jiuyin Zhenjing and Eighteen Palms of Subduing Dragon!

What, so obedient?

Then I’ll give you a grandson for free.

…………

Yang Guo, your aunt was kidnapped by Lao Tzu. If she knew the face, she would have cut up her own little penis!

What? Yin Zhiping, do you want to cut too?

Well, I will send you a dragon-slaying knife, cut iron like mud, and guarantee that there will be no pain!

…………

Duan Zhengchun, your wife and daughter have been tied up by Lao Tzu, hurry up and hand over all the martial arts secrets of Yi Yang Finger, Six Meridian Divine Sword, etc., and then kill yourself!

What? Want to have sex with your wives again before you die?

Fuck you, they have been scolded by Lao Tzu “Japanese…

- Description from novelbuddy

I found myself in a parallel universe, awakening as a male priest. Everything seemed perfect; after all, as a healer, specializing in aiding women should pose no issue, right? However, I couldn’t help but wonder about some peculiar spells in my repertoire.

Firstly, what in the world is the “Instantaneous Outbreak of Acute Gastroenteritis” spell? And don’t even get me started on the “Osteoporosis” spell. What purpose could these serve in my healing endeavors? The confusion only deepened with spells like “Blood Burn,” “Gradual Freeze,” and “Mental Chaos.” Can I still peacefully focus on healing women with such ominous abilities?

Comparing my spells to those of other professions, I couldn’t help but notice the stark contrast. Mages wield “Doomstorm” and “Ice Age,” swordsmen boast “Sword Rain: Homecoming” and “Wind-Cutter Slash,” while archers showcase “Arrow Rain: Shooting Stars” and “Storm Arrow.” Yet, my ultimate spells are disturbingly named “Cancer Cell Proliferation,” “T-Virus Infection,” and “Rabies Outbreak.”

In the midst of it all, a certain character, some crying girl, laments, “Noooo, I just took a bath, who would have thought that I would become infected!”

Meanwhile, a villain chillingly asks, “Do any of you know what it feels like to burst apart while spouting blood? No! You don’t know!”

Even a boss character confesses, “Dear family, who can understand? I just took a nap, and when I woke up, I suddenly found that I have no kidneys!”

Leon Thorne was the disgrace of his house, overweight, softspoken, and dismissed as a failure before he ever picked up a sword. Mocked during the Awakening and branded an F-rank, he was expected to fade quietly from the halls of power.But he didn’t.Because this wasn’t his first life.In another timeline, Leon watched House Thorne fall, shamed, scattered and erased from history. Powerless to stop it then, he’s been given one chance to rewrite it now.Stripped of excuses and reshaped by hardship, Leon claws his way forward—through blood, sweat and silence. Now, leaner and sharper, he enters an academy where only strength speaks and legacy decides your worth.But Leon carries no crest. No backing. Just scars, a sword, and the will to shatter fate itself.He’s not looking to be acknowledged or praised.He’s going to rewrite everything.NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES.

Meredith Carter was once the pride of her pack—until the Lunar Curse marked her as wolfless, unwanted, and a disgrace. Humiliated, abandoned, and rejected by her fated mate, she thought the Moon Goddess had forsaken her.But her curse came with a cruel side effect—wild, uncontrollable pheromones that drove men insane with desire and disgust. A scent so intoxicating, it made her a target.The night she was cast aside when her pheromones spiralled beyond control, Alpha Draven Oatrun—the most feared and untouchable Alpha in the kingdom—claimed her instead.But Draven doesn’t want love. He doesn’t even want her. His reasons for marrying her have nothing to do with fate.Thrust into a world of ruthless politics, deadly enemies, and a mate who sees her as nothing more than a pawn, Meredith must fight to survive, reclaim her dignity, and uncover the secrets behind her curse.Because something is awakening inside her. Something powerful. Something… ancient.And when the truth is revealed, not even Alpha Draven will be able to resist what she becomes.Rejected. Cursed. Desired. Chosen.Will Meredith break free from her fate?Above all, what is this mystical force pushing her to start a war?—Excerpt:“You may have claimed me,” Meredith whispered, her violet eyes burning with defiance, “but you will never own me.”Draven exhaled a low, dangerous laugh. His golden eyes gleamed as he caged her in, his presence suffocating.“Own you?” His voice was velvet and steel. “Little wolf, I don’t need to own you.”He brushed a strand of silver-white hair behind her ear—a touch so light, yet it sent shivers down her spine.“Because whether you like it or not…” His breath ghosted against her skin. “Your body already responds to me.”Meredith clenched her jaw, ignoring the traitorous warmth pooling deep inside her. It was the pheromones. It had to be.“I hate you,” she forced out.“Good,” Draven smirked. Because hate was just another form of obsession.