PREVIEW

... some thick juicy steak.

Well, we were on a table, there was a lit candle, there was also food, but I highly doubt I’d be earning a pat on the back from Gordon Ramsay for it. No, probably a good shouting and maybe a kick in the balls from him sounds about right.

‘You call that dinner, you say? I reckon I’d have a better time eating raw sewage straight outta Chernobyl!’

Ahh, classic.

Still though, despite the less-than-satisfactory meal I prepared, the Elf-lady sit ...

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