Re: Evolution Online - Chapter 996 Fucked On All Sides

I was born into a prestigious martial family, yet I was nothing but a useless person with no talent whatsoever.At least, that was the case until I was trapped in a dream.[You cannot die here.][You can not lose your mind here.][Time does not move in this place.][You cannot leave until you reach the extreme.]Geniuses and fools—people say these are two unchangeable truths of the world.They claimed that I could never enter certain realms because I was a complete fool.But when a human body and soul are thrown into the extremes of time, they adapt.[Congratulations. You have reached the extreme.]Now, it is time to leave.

Bad news: Xu Yanmiao traveled back to ancient times, but he himself is lazy and uninterested in anything but internet cybersecurity, which is useless in ancient times.Good news: He’s bound to a system.Bad news: The system is called the Gossip System, not the fortune-telling kind, but the kind that contains other people’s private information and scandals. Utterly useless.More bad news: This system is also glitchy, and the extent of the bugs is unknown.Even more bad news: This body is that of a minor official who can attend court meetings, while Xu, the time traveler… doesn’t understand the classics, can’t write with a brush, and is at risk of being exposed for cheating in the imperial exams.Xu Yanmiao: “…”Forget it, just lie low, wait to die, maybe dying quickly could lead to another time travel.…In the court, the emperor was furious about state affairs, and the courtiers trembled in fear.Xu Yanmiao pretended to listen attentively but was actually focused on browsing the Gossip System.[Wow, the emperor just took in a 16-year-old noblewoman yesterday! A beautiful addition! He’s getting stronger with age! And he was tossing and turning in bed all night but still has such a powerful voice now! Amazing!] [This noblewoman used to be the crown prince’s concubine! And the crown prince even knows how to write passionate love letters!] [Wow wow wow! The crown prince sneaked into the grandpa’s harem… hiss—got intimate while the old emperor was attending court! Do it quickly! Why isn’t there any video…] [Huh? Why is there no sound?]Xu Yanmiao cautiously raised his head and glanced around.[What happened? Why is everyone kneeling? Where’s the emperor?]—The emperor went to catch adultery in the harem.The “imperial exam cheating” bomb finally exploded.Xu Yanmiao couldn’t explain why his handwriting on the exam paper didn’t match his usual handwriting, nor could he answer why he didn’t understand the classics.The evidence prepared by the ousted crown prince of the emperor hit the nail on the head, and his personal bodyguard was ready to drag Xu Yanmiao away to the prison, awaiting execution in the autumn.Xu Yanmiao held onto the gossip that proved his innocence but was in a quandary:How do I explain the source of my information…[Say that I secretly met with the Chief Examiner, the Minister of Rites, three nights before the exam? Impossible, that night, the Minister of Rites was dressed as a woman, spent the night at the General’s Mansion, with the general…]The general’s body shook, and he interjected: “Your Majesty!!!!”“Although the evidence of exam cheating is solid, I believe there’s still something fishy about this. It should be re-investigated! Especially Xu… Xu… Xu Yanmiao’s attire is neat and tidy! Someone who cares so much about their appearance, how could they tarnish their reputation!”The crown prince, who couldn’t hear his thoughts: ??[Also, what’s with saying that the examiner faking yawning and tiredness was intentionally leaving me a gap for cheating? He spent the night before the exam in the pigsty without sleeping, how could he not be tired the next day? But, surprisingly, the Imperial Academy lecturer actually believed in pig’s milk…]The Imperial Academy lecturer’s face went pale, and he burst out: “Your Majesty!!!!”“I… I agree with the General’s words! How could Xu Lang cheat in the exam! He… he… he deliberately drank a glass of pure water before the exam, believing that only good-hearted people can use pure things, such a kind-hearted person, how could he cheat in the exam!”Thinking he had everything under control, the crown prince: ??Xu Yanmiao was deeply moved.[They’re all good people, even if their brains don’t work well, they’re trying their best to find reasons and excuses for me.] [But I really have no way to turn the tables, alas, it’s a pity that I haven’t finished watching the TV series I’ve been following. The old emperor angered the empress last night and got kicked out of the bedchamber, and now I’m going to die before seeing the ending. He seems to be planning to paint his face with ink and pretend to be a cat to cheer up the empress…]“Bang—”The old emperor slammed the table, forcibly interrupting the continuous stream of thoughts: “I believe Xu Yanmiao did not cheat in the exam! Release him, innocent!”The civil and military officials couldn’t wait to echo, fearing that if they were too slow, Xu Yanmiao might spill more gossip.“Yes yes yes! Release him innocent!”“Long live Your Majesty!”“Your Majesty, please end the court session! Let Xu Lang go home and rest! You’ve tired him out by making him stand for so long!”The crown prince: ??Did Xu Yanmiao drug them with hallucinogens or something?

When gods gather, lightning will strike and the earth will move. Immortals! Which of the numerous way to immortality should one follow? Immortals are hard to seek, but why should immortals hide? Heaven has no mercy, but humans have emotions, and these emotions hinder the road to longevity!

Train the inner self to stay calm, train the external body to be resistant, then cross the three continents and four seas alone, and fight valiantly with demons and devils! With the heavenly baton in hand, raid the devils and demons without any resistance! Take one step to cross nine stars and chase the sword in the dreams! Traverse a thousand li of river and mountains in a single day! The exceptional beings do not mix with the ordinary! Within the universe, where can one find an obstacle! Moving like a dragon, with talent like a phoenix! The heavenly Daos and stars will guide one’s way!

- Description from Novelupdates

“Wife! Come here!”“No!”She always thought he was aloof, but after getting the marriage certificate, the aloof military king immediately transformed into a wife-doting maniac.The husband indulges his wife in countless ways, Lily Turner finds it extremely exhausting, her protests go unheard, her pleas are ineffective, she wants to escape, but whenever she tries to climb the wall, it rises higher, leaving her in tears!When asked about the reason for his limitless indulgence, the young master responds astonishingly, “The one who dared to trick me into marriage, it's only her!”The woman beside him rolls her eyes at him: she is the one who got deceived, okay?