Tales of Herding Gods - Chapter 9: Pink Skeletons

Hugo Fernandez, a short, skinny virgin with zero charm, was a young man with grand dreams. He had just started college and was brimming with hope for a bright future, but a rather unfortunate food poisoning ’incident’ soon turned his life from bad to worse. He experienced a social death! Out of the blue, a mysterious girl’s voice echoed in his head: [Ding! Fate has aligned, and your woeful destiny with women has reached the heavens! You have been granted the Ultimate Harem System!!!] Hugo’s listless eyes widened. Had he finally received his own cheat code? Was it time for him to ascend to the heavens in a single leap and start attracting women left and right? The mysterious voice spoke again: [Ding! Initialising Death mission... Seduce a 7+ woman within one month or die!] Hugo blinked, his jaw dropping. “Wait, what? Seduce a 7+ woman or die? What kind of medieval torture is this? I can’t even seduce my reflection!” After taking a minute to calm down, he realised it wasn’t as bad as he thought. “In the worst case, I can burrow some money and get a pro-” [No pay pigging] Hugo realised he was soon going to experience a real death! This system was out for his blood! [Tick tock, Romeo. Time’s wasting…] “I’m gonna die!” Join Hugo on a captivating, deadly journey filled with debauchery, womanising, and thrilling level-ups as he rises above all and becomes a Supreme Casanova! If he doesn’t die first, that is…

For a certain LOL competition, a certain online streamer famous for pissing people off was currently explaining and broadcasting it at the same time.

Streamer: This support, so tr*sh.

Streamer: If that jungler was my teammate, I would already be idling at the fountain and playing piano for him by now.

Streamer: I recommend that this player go back and properly practice how to last hit.

Audience: What bullshit! If you’re any better, then you do it!

Streamer: Daddy I really can do it.

Audience: Okokok. If you can do it then I’ll chop off my head so you can kick it.

A few months later, LOL’s veteran pro team TTC announced a new mid laner, Soft. A boy with flashy blue hair appeared in front of the audience and played Zed to utter perfection, killing everyone he saw, causing all the female fans to begin toeing the line of infidelity.

During the MVP interview after the match, everyone held their breath and eagerly watched this newcomer.

Only to see the boy accept the microphone, smile and ask, “That water friend with the StarTV user ID ‘Suburb King 101,’ my team’s address is on the official website, when will you mail your head over?”

After a certain regular season match finished, the staff member went backstage to urge the team members to go onstage and conduct their interviews, only to see TTC’s new mid laner and jungler standing in the corner.

TTC’s number one ace · jungler daddy Road pressed their team’s new mid laner Soft against the wall. He lowered his eyes and asked lowly, “At the interview, do you know what you did?”

That quick-tempered mid laner, who had solidified his image as a troll in the audience’s eyes the very first time he went on stage, turned completely red. “I know. I won’t curse at anyone… I definitely won’t curse at anyone.”

A lonely soul, which was placed under the care of the Lord Protector’s Manor, ended up having her lover stolen by the family’s eldest daughter and dying tragically the day before her wedding.

Somehow, she was reborn in the family as their 14-year-old first wife’s daughter, Ning Xueyan, with a startlingly familiar face.

Step by step, she will ruthlessly scheme to seek revenge as well as uncover the mystery of her tragic death.

Her former fiancee, the flirty crown prince and the bloodthirsty prince, will now bear witness to a vengeful Ning Xueyan becoming the peerless lady of her generation…

The young Xiao Yi bore a mysterious seal within him, yet due to his father and siblings’ injustice, he was sent to the remote Nanhuang and became a son-in-law to the Fang Family. On his wedding day, the seal inside Xiao Yi was unlocked, and from then on, he controlled the Eternal Celestial Tomb! Many of the strongest beings from all the heavens and worlds were buried within the Celestial Tomb, and Xiao Yi, who now commanded the tomb, began his life’s journey of gaining strength through grave-robbing! “You think you’re a martial arts genius? Let me dig up a Martial God’s grave and we’ll see!”“You consider yourself an alchemy expert? I’ll dig up a Medicine Saint’s grave and then we’ll talk!”“You’re the son of a divine emperor? I’ve got plenty of divine emperor graves here!”“You’re the number one scoundrel in the world? ... You win, I’m out!”