The Guide to Conquering Earthlings - Chapter 12: 0

Her birthday was marked as the day when her whole world flipped. She was rich, spoiled, and beautiful but all of it vanished when her cold body laid on the road, wrapped in her brother's arms. She thought it was her end but the young CEO finds herself at a loss when she wakes up in the body of Yu Mei Zhen, the illegitimate daughter of a rich family. She is married to one of her old university friends but he is no longer the gentle guy she once knew.

Enigmatic and wealthy, Jun Zixuan is the epitome of perfection. He has everything, including a suicidal and scheming wife whom he hates to the core until one day when she pours a glass of juice on him, her poison-laced words and countless insults following behind. That's where it starts. He could not take his eyes off his dumpling-like wife all of a sudden. Was he a masochist?

She decides to take one step at a time. Lose weight first, make money, get a divorce, settle the people who killed her unreasonably, and find a way to go back to her brother.

But wait...why is this cold and unapproachable husband acting like a white lotus?

...

“I want a divorce,” She indifferently said.

“Fine,” the man coldly responded without any shift in his expression.

One month later:

“When are we getting divorced?” She asked calmly, not wanting to deal with a moody husband anymore.

His gaze darkened, “The procedure is going on.”

Three months later:

“Jun Zixuan, where the heck is our divorce paper?!” She lost her patience and snapped at him.

One of his arms wrapped around her waist as he pulled her closer, “Are you that eager to leave me?” he asked, sadness flickered on his face despite that indifferent look.

“Uh-huh.”

“Oh, so sad~” The man narrowed his eyes, his lips tilted up in a crafty smile before he continued, “The lawyers said that our case is a complicated one, it might take them a lifetime to draft the divorce papers.”

And in the next second, his lips descended on hers shocking the hell out of her existence.

10 billion people in the world traveled through the apocalypse to survive, but the protagonist directly turned into a zombie after crossing…

And with the passage of time, the body is gradually decaying.

For zombies: Rotten clean = dead.

So, Jiang Si’s time is running out…

In order to survive, he opened the novice gift bag.

Got the trash skill: ?Xingchang?br>“?Xing Changhe? After eating alien creatures, you can get additional experience points. If the ingredients are fresh enough, there is a chance to get this biological skill.”

…

Um.

Really useless.

Alien creatures are full of poison, and the taste… is extremely unpalatable!

Eat alien creatures to gain skills?

That is courting death!

Such rubbish skills, after all…

Etc., etc? !

right? !

I’m a zombie. Since I can eat people, isn’t it the same to eat xenogeneic creatures? !

With a move in his heart, Jiang thought to a possibility.

Then, the journey to eat the world began:

“Ding, you ate the Poison Horned Rabbit and gained 400 experience points, and your skills are fast.”

“Ding, you ate the Lion of Ice and Fire, gained 5800 experience points, and the skill Flame Body.”

“Ding, you ate the Wetland Poison Dragon and gained 180,000 experience points and skill dragon scale skin.”

“Ding, you ate the true ancestor of vampires…”

- Description from novelbuddy

Kisha Aldens is a normal office worker with average earnings, not until she suddenly sees a system countdown in front of her. Her mind suddenly received a prompt warning about the apocalypse and urged her to integrate with the system to assist her with her survival.“Have I overworked myself again?” She thought while pinching the bridge of her nose. She blinked a few more times but the system interface is still there.Little did she know that this system would be her last lifeline in the upcoming apocalypse where human morals would be the lowest, trust is only a word and betrayal could happen in the blink of an eye.A naive person like her had to learn her lesson the hard way on how to survive and navigate in the zombie-infested world. And the worst part, she had to die 99 times to harden her heart and learn how to read the human heart. How will her 100th time be different from the previous lives, will she survive this time?And will survival be her only problem in the heart of the Apocalypse? No, there was a deeper scheme in play which she has to uncover moving forward.

“They Call Guys Like Me a Simp.”(Meanwhile, I’m out here living what their favorite MC only dreams about.)You ever notice how stories glorify the ones who feel nothing?The MC who never laughs.Never feels.Who plays women like chess pieces and calls it intelligence.He manipulates a girl? “He’s strategic.”He never opens up? “He’s mysterious.”He never flinches, never laughs, never lives —And you call that strength?Funny.Because to me?That’s just a prison in disguise.You see an “alpha.”I see a boy too scared to feel anything real.While they spend ten chapters monologuing about logic and sacrifice,I’m already making the Saintess scream,drenched in sin,halo cracked,legs trembling from truths her prayers never taught her.And I didn’t get there with cold eyes or control.I got there with laughter and chill. With warmth. With a grin and a hand on her thigh.I didn’t need to dominate her mind —I freed her heart.But that scares people, doesn’t it?Because readers trust the ones who suffer.Who stay quiet.Who kill without blinking and love without showing it.But me?I flirt.I laugh.I take hits and smile back, bloody and defiant, as if too weak to get angry.I don’t need to pretend emotions are weakness.I weaponize mine.Pleasure. Connection. Laughter.That’s my arsenal.And while your favorite MC is still calculating his next five moves,Trying to outwit death and romance like both are math problems,I’m already balls deep in the jade fairy — her sacred yin furnace clenching like it’s worshipping my shaft, her Dao Echo shattered into breathless moans, and her so-called cultivation path leaking down her thighs while she begs me to break her meridians again.You call that luck?Nah.That’s mastery of the three worlds.Because in a world that respects coldness,I came in hot.Where others manipulate, I connect.Where they posture, I play.Where they sacrifice, I seduce.So go ahead.Call me a simp.But while your genius MC is busy monologuing about destiny,I’m the one making goddesses question theirs —with a smirk, a touch, and no regrets.I’m not the hero.Not the villain.I’m just a simp… the kind who leaves your cold, emotionless MC’s woman dripping, ruined, and too stretched to go back to him.