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... er, they realized that it was locked, and with their current size compared to the house's, there was no chance in hell that they were going to force it open.

"Damn… and all the windows are shu-"

"Look out!" The man with them yelled from below, and Finn immediately pushed Iris away from him. The two split up just in time before a thick drop of white, corrosive goo fell down in between them from the ceiling, and Iris glanced up to see a horrifying sight:

The ceiling was slo ...

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Saying 5000 year-old-dragon has an impressive ring to it, yet that dragon was an extremely harmless, herbivorous being. However, because of his uselessly giant figure and scary appearance, he was mistaken for the Demon King’s executive and provided by the nearby village with a sacrificial maiden.

Fundamentally cowardly and timid dragon tried to send her away, but the extremely enthusiastic sacrifice didn’t want to give up. Inevitably, he lied: “Okay, I just ate a small portion of your soul, so you can go back already”, but the maiden with outrageous assumptions has misunderstood that she became the dragon’s kin.

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“Players are welcome to board the special train for the Dimension Crack game. This train will go from the E-level departure station to the D-level station. Please ensure that your life is safe and orderly get on the train and abide by the rules of the ride.”

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After being killed by a high-velocity tree-hug, Arlo is transported to a new world of skills, stats, and levels where those brave and talented enough to conquer ancient Delves are rewarded with incredible supernatural power. Unfortunately for Arlo, there is no tutorial, and he is immediately forced to tackle a Delve set to the highest difficulty with a party of adventurers who are not only strangers to him, but strangers to each other as well. Arlo has no armor, no weapons, no knowledge of the world at large, and his party is growing increasingly suspicious of his lack of preparation and paper-thin excuses for how he got there.There's also the fact that the System seems to be treating Arlo's situation like a big, cosmic joke.Determined not to die again, Arlo forgoes putting any points into his highest stat, Intelligence, and instead dumps everything he's got into Fortitude. After all, who needs equipment or fighting skills when you can eat fireballs for breakfast and still ask for more hot sauce?Mage Tank is a comedic LitRPG adventure set in an epic fantasy world that is rapidly evolving as new and powerful secrets of the Delves are uncovered. There are strong horror themes, graphic violence, overindulgent use of naughty language, and poorly constructed jokes. Mage Tank features slow progression and intelligent characters who spend time making intentional build choices. It’s not action all-the-time, but Arlo’s life is replete with danger and, more importantly, consequences.Cover art generated with MidJourney and Canva.Maps and world-building support by Sir Raiu Koren.

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