The Return of the Disaster-Class Hero - Chapter 367: That isn't it! (1)

In her previous life, Gu Tong was blind to people's true natures, and died unjustly, becoming the number one venomous woman scorned by all.After her rebirth, Gu Tong tore apart her cousin with her bare hands, shattered the mistress on her chest, and stewed the scum in an iron pot, becoming the first Doctor who brought aid to the world; none who owed her could escape.Her happy and perfect new life officially began, and Gu Tong shouted her loud slogan, “Kiss, hug, lift high, husband, let's have a baby, oh yeah.”

— Climax exorcism.

An obscene ability that forces forces anyone stricken by it to climax, regardless of whether they are living or dead.

As a bonus, it also forces evil spirits and monsters to ascend to heaven.

This is a world where evil spirits and monsters are everywhere and being an exorcist is a real job.

Talented boys and girls with bright futures are trained at the “School for Exorcists”.

Furuya Haruhisa is a boy cursed with the ability, climax exorcism, and is also the school dunce.

Using the ability could lead to his own social death…

But then, Haruhisa met her.

Misaki Soya, a girl possessing a similarly cursed pair of eyes — demon eyes.

And so begins the legend of how history’s worst exorcists came to be known as the strongest before anyone realized it. Their first official job results in a grand performance with a monster woman who runs away from boobs.

— Nhoooooo!?

A coquettish voice echoes throughout the neighborhood tonight.

It is undoubtedly evidence of an ascension.

Are those useless exorcists using their obscene abilities?

Is ero going to save the world?

A slightly ecchi exorcism performance!!

When the First Wizarding War ended, and Lord Voldemort chased out Dumbledore from Hogwarts, he became the undisputed leader of the Wizarding World, cementing his rule as the new Minister of Magic. Yet everyone in power knew the war was far from over; it was now waged behind closed curtains and under the table. Behind the veil of secrecy, those still loyal to Dumbledore continued to fight, waging guerilla-like warfare against him and his forces, drawing in other countries' wizards and witches, opposing Voldemort and his plans to dominate all magic.The Anguine family, home of pure-blood wizards, part of Voldemort's new Ministry of Magic, were often tasked with confronting the Order of the Phoenix, raising their reputation year by year. Born into the Anguine family, Conrad just came to age, ready to attend Hogwarts to start his studies. He was excited to go to a school he had heard about from his father many times, but times have changed. It is not like in the old days. But who knows? One day, the school may return to what it was before the Era of Darkness.---- Author's Notes:Dear Readers! I'd like to welcome you to my first foray into writing fanfic and into doing a book from a first-person point of View. As to what to expect, let me give you more details so you won't be disappointed if it is not your cup of tea!- An alternate timeline: Voldemort killed the Potters and Harry as a baby. He never lost his body, thus winning the 1st Wizarding War.- Of course, a battle is still going on in the background, but that will only come later in the story.- Being in an alternate timeline, the dates may be a little bit off, but the story will mostly play out in the same time frame as the original.- Being an altered history, some main characters will not show up, and I mainly mean Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Or any of the Dumbledore supporting cast. (at least for a good portion of the story). For obvious reasons. If this is not what you want, please understand that I am going for a familiar yet different story than the original. I am taking inspiration from the original plot, but I am not planning mirroring it 1:1.- Of the returning characters, some may have altered personalities, although I will try my best to remain true to their book counterpart. But I will also think up ”what would they have done“ scenarios and modify their personality to match the alternative world we are in. I hope you will still enjoy it; that is my goal. To entertain you.- There is no transmigration, no isekai tropes, no reincarnation, no knowledge of in-lore events, none of that. The main character is someone who is born in-universe.