The Villain's RE:Life - Chapter 389: Bedroom Talk

Alvin had planned his future: after leaving the city of Serinthia and obtaining his graduation certificate in technology, he would return to his hometown, stay close to the only girl in his life, and kill a few people from time to time for fun and entertainment.But fate had other plans. On an ordinary day in the Royce Empire—one of the three great empires that ruled this world—the sky split open and a barrage of meteors descended. From that moment, the world changed, and the lands of the empire turned into a battlefield, as monsters appeared and people became hunters.Now, Alvin found himself forced to abandon his former dreams and return to his city before the companion of his life dies.

During the Chunin Exams, a mysterious screen hijacks Konoha's arena, broadcasting the shinobi world's most shocking secrets, pivotal future events, and utterly embarrassing moments, sending Kages, legends, and genin alike into a hilarious frenzy.The air crackles with anticipation during Konoha's Chunin Exams. Genin face off, crowds roar... and then, BAM!A gigantic projection screen materializes out of thin air above the packed arena, silencing everyone. This is not on the schedule. Before anyone can react, it flickers to life, broadcasting scenes that should never see the light of day.Get ready for reactions that rewrite history (and dignity):Mei Terumi (Fifth Mizukage): *Eyes widening, then narrowing suspiciously*: “Hold on... Madara Uchiha's 'invincible' fire style... extinguished by a Water Barrier? Is this some kind of advanced Genjutsu prank, or did someone seriously just splash water on the apocalypse?”Ōnoki (Third Tsuchikage): *Clutching his lower back*: “My aching joints! And the screen says I'm going to willingly ride atop the Fourth Raikage like some kind of... decrepit flying squirrel?! Preposterous! My back couldn't take that speed!”A (Fourth Raikage): *Face turning purple, with veins popping* :“WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?! STOP LOOPING THE FOOTAGE OF MINATO MAKING BEE LOOK LIKE A FOOL! TURN IT OFF! BEE, IF YOU START RAPPING TO THIS, I SWEAR I'LL LARIAT YOU INTO NEXT WEEK!”(Nearby, Killer Bee subtly starts beatboxing under his breath, yo!)Hiruzen Sarutobi (Third Hokage): *Sweating profusely as Kushina Uzumaki glares daggers from the stands, holding a spectral frying pan*: “K-Kushina, my dear! That scene where Naruto painted the Hokage Monument... again... it was taken completely out of context! He was... expressing youthful exuberance! Yes! And I definitely didn't bribe him with ramen to clean it up! Please, listen to reason... and put the ethereal kitchenware down?”Danzō Shimura: *Eyes colder than ice*: “Exposing Root operations? Revealing my contingency plans... or lack thereof in that particular future? Unacceptable. This screen poses a threat to Konoha's stability. It must be... Eliminated Permanently.” (He discreetly signals an Anbu who immediately bowed).Uchiha Madara (From an undisclosed location, sensing a disturbance in the Force... err, Chakra) : “An unseen hand manipulating the narrative? Revealing destiny's secrets before their time? Insolence! Who dares play director with my grand stage?!”From Kage summits gone wrong to legendary shinobi's secret guilty pleasures (did Jiraiya really wear that?), the screen reveals all.The entire shinobi world watches, mouths agape. Hidden truths are dragged into the sunlight, future tragedies are foreshadowed, alliances tremble, and enemies start taking very detailed notes.One question burns hotter than Amaterasu: 'Who is behind this chaotic broadcast, and what earth-shattering secret will they expose next.'

Song Shi came to an immortal world where demons and monsters were rampant. He thought he was going to take a trepidatious road to immortality, but ended up awakening to a death-defying system, gaining strength from death and getting stronger every time he died.

The whole style took a sudden change. Other people cultivated to seek immortality, but he was already immortal, and could only seek immortality by having himself killed in various ways, either by killing himself or by letting people kill him.

“You were killed 10 times by the Yin spirit, awakening the spiritual root of fire!”

“You were killed 10 times by the zombie, awakening the innate divine power!”

“You were killed 10 times for excess cultivation, awakening the Daoist heart!”

“You were killed by a formation, formation level +1!”

“You were killed by an alchemy explosion, +1 alchemy level!”

Pure Yang Spiritual Body, Nine Yang Divine Body, Sun Sacred Body; Vajra Spiritual Body, Golden Divine Body, Draconic Sacred Body; Psychic Sword Body, Innate Dao Body; Formation Master, Alchemy Master...

His cultivation was a fun journey, and he kept finding ways to kill himself on his way to the top of the immortal path...

Years later, the world rumor had it that once Song Shi died, the immortals were terrified, the demons trembled, and ten thousand Buddhas retreated!

Everyone knows that the popular entertainer Song Linchuan is crazy about his little aunt. Since the beginning of his career, he has mentioned her on various occasions.

During an interview with a reporter, he was asked, “What kind of girl do you find most adorable?”

He replied, “Someone like my little aunt.”

The reporter was puzzled.

During a fan visit, someone asked him, “What are your plans after filming this drama?”

He replied, “I’m going back to see my little aunt.”

The fans were confused.

As people across the internet were curious about Song Linchuan’s mysterious little aunt, he brought her on a lifestyle variety show. When she appeared on camera, everyone was shocked to see that she was just a pretty girl in her late teens.

On the show, the young girl had an old-fashioned way of speaking and manners, despite her young age.

When Song Linchuan was too busy to eat on time, she said sternly, “Your body is your most valuable asset. Don’t neglect to eat on time, or you’ll get stomach problems!”

When he stayed up late playing games, she scolded him, “Young people should enjoy their games in moderation. Staying up late is not good for your health!”

The netizens teased Song Linchuan, but they also agreed with his little aunt’s advice.

At a fashion magazine photo shoot, Song Linchuan’s shirt collar was a bit low. The young girl approached him and said seriously, “As a boy, how can you dress so revealingly?”

The netizens laughed and said, “Haha, his little aunt is correcting him on how to be a man!”

Meanwhile, another popular entertainer, Pei Kuang, visited Song Linchuan’s house while he was filming a lifestyle show. As soon as he entered, Song Linchuan pulled him over to meet his little aunt.

Song Linchuan said, “Pei Kuang, this is my dear little aunt. Don’t just stand there, she’s your little aunt too. Call her!”

Pei Kuang was speechless.

A few years later, paparazzi caught Pei Kuang walking with a girl who looked like Song Linchuan’s little aunt, Song Anan. They looked intimately close, and everyone online called out to Song Linchuan, “Look, your good friend is about to become your little uncle!”

At that time, Song Linchuan was in the middle of filming in the deep mountains and had no idea what was happening.