This Bastard is Too Competent - Chapter 27: It’s Not You

“You really want me to save people?”

Looking at the shivering victim in front of him,

Look at the [Owl’s Head Wire], [The Murderer’s Gift], [Universal Anesthetic], [Invisible Potion] in the item column…

Shiraishi touched the hideous mask on his face and fell into deep thought.

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“The Salary Thief in the Distillery”

“What does the vest do to me have anything to do with it?”

“There are limits to being a human being, I choose to be a cat…”

The magic version of Conan

- Description from novelbuddy

After the nth time of failing a marriage meeting, Xiang Han got himself a job: good treatment, high salary, free world traveling with food provided, house provided and even a ‘lover provided’?!

At first, he thought, apart from having to travel into the body of a scum cannon fodder, a scheming fake white lotus, everything else was okay. It was only later he realized that saving the target was also a problem. His imagination was neverending, even eating a cup of ramen was seen as a way to rouse his ( target’s) interest!

Xiang Han: This target is a no-go.

Certain Target: Very good, you’ve already managed to rouse my interest.

Xiang Han: Go outside and make a left turn to the optometrist, go get your eyes healed! Additionally, this “lover provided” isn’t necessary.

A Certain Target: This is certainly necessary!

- Description from novelupdates

Everyone knows that the popular entertainer Song Linchuan is crazy about his little aunt. Since the beginning of his career, he has mentioned her on various occasions.

During an interview with a reporter, he was asked, “What kind of girl do you find most adorable?”

He replied, “Someone like my little aunt.”

The reporter was puzzled.

During a fan visit, someone asked him, “What are your plans after filming this drama?”

He replied, “I’m going back to see my little aunt.”

The fans were confused.

As people across the internet were curious about Song Linchuan’s mysterious little aunt, he brought her on a lifestyle variety show. When she appeared on camera, everyone was shocked to see that she was just a pretty girl in her late teens.

On the show, the young girl had an old-fashioned way of speaking and manners, despite her young age.

When Song Linchuan was too busy to eat on time, she said sternly, “Your body is your most valuable asset. Don’t neglect to eat on time, or you’ll get stomach problems!”

When he stayed up late playing games, she scolded him, “Young people should enjoy their games in moderation. Staying up late is not good for your health!”

The netizens teased Song Linchuan, but they also agreed with his little aunt’s advice.

At a fashion magazine photo shoot, Song Linchuan’s shirt collar was a bit low. The young girl approached him and said seriously, “As a boy, how can you dress so revealingly?”

The netizens laughed and said, “Haha, his little aunt is correcting him on how to be a man!”

Meanwhile, another popular entertainer, Pei Kuang, visited Song Linchuan’s house while he was filming a lifestyle show. As soon as he entered, Song Linchuan pulled him over to meet his little aunt.

Song Linchuan said, “Pei Kuang, this is my dear little aunt. Don’t just stand there, she’s your little aunt too. Call her!”

Pei Kuang was speechless.

A few years later, paparazzi caught Pei Kuang walking with a girl who looked like Song Linchuan’s little aunt, Song Anan. They looked intimately close, and everyone online called out to Song Linchuan, “Look, your good friend is about to become your little uncle!”

At that time, Song Linchuan was in the middle of filming in the deep mountains and had no idea what was happening.

Broken-hearted and drunk, Yoshida, a 26-years old salaryman, stumbled upon a runaway-from-home high-schooler on his way back from the bar.

“Hey, you. JK.”*

“What the heck are you doing out here. Go home already.”

“Uncle, let me stay at your place for the night.”

“You can do ‘that’ to me if you let me stay.”

“If you meant that as a joke, it’s not funny.”

“I’m not joking. It’s fine by me.”

“Then allow me to tell you that I have no interest in brats.”

“Hmm?”

“Then, just let me stay.”

Notes:

[*] JK is slang for Joushikousei (high school girl)