Top Assassin Retires and Becomes a Farmer After Time Traveling to the Past - Chapter 3: Good Luck Eating Chicken Tonight.

“They Call Guys Like Me a Simp.”(Meanwhile, I’m out here living what their favorite MC only dreams about.)You ever notice how stories glorify the ones who feel nothing?The MC who never laughs.Never feels.Who plays women like chess pieces and calls it intelligence.He manipulates a girl? “He’s strategic.”He never opens up? “He’s mysterious.”He never flinches, never laughs, never lives —And you call that strength?Funny.Because to me?That’s just a prison in disguise.You see an “alpha.”I see a boy too scared to feel anything real.While they spend ten chapters monologuing about logic and sacrifice,I’m already making the Saintess scream,drenched in sin,halo cracked,legs trembling from truths her prayers never taught her.And I didn’t get there with cold eyes or control.I got there with laughter and chill. With warmth. With a grin and a hand on her thigh.I didn’t need to dominate her mind —I freed her heart.But that scares people, doesn’t it?Because readers trust the ones who suffer.Who stay quiet.Who kill without blinking and love without showing it.But me?I flirt.I laugh.I take hits and smile back, bloody and defiant, as if too weak to get angry.I don’t need to pretend emotions are weakness.I weaponize mine.Pleasure. Connection. Laughter.That’s my arsenal.And while your favorite MC is still calculating his next five moves,Trying to outwit death and romance like both are math problems,I’m already balls deep in the jade fairy — her sacred yin furnace clenching like it’s worshipping my shaft, her Dao Echo shattered into breathless moans, and her so-called cultivation path leaking down her thighs while she begs me to break her meridians again.You call that luck?Nah.That’s mastery of the three worlds.Because in a world that respects coldness,I came in hot.Where others manipulate, I connect.Where they posture, I play.Where they sacrifice, I seduce.So go ahead.Call me a simp.But while your genius MC is busy monologuing about destiny,I’m the one making goddesses question theirs —with a smirk, a touch, and no regrets.I’m not the hero.Not the villain.I’m just a simp… the kind who leaves your cold, emotionless MC’s woman dripping, ruined, and too stretched to go back to him.

Warning: This work contains elements of mature content featuring sex, violence, and gore.

Follow the journey of a wandering drunk swordsman who will punch immortals, kick demons, and cut down gods as he ascends the heavens in search of better women and wine.... hic...

Women, Wine, and Wager

The three most terrible vices a man could possess. Luckily, Duncan was only afflicted with two - women & wine. As an ordinary spirit stone miner, Duncan only cared about earning money to indulge in his two vices.

However, Duncan's fate had a twist in the form of a cantankerous old man who wanted to both reward and punish him in good measure. It leaves Duncan with a rather poor opinion of cultivators in general.

Pulled into the world of cultivation unwittingly, Duncan only cares for three things. His sword, his wine, and his women.

Lei Jun transmigrates into a cultivation world and could seek opportunities and avoid risks by drawing lots and acting according to it.[Moderately good lot, don't join the crowd. Focus on your own tasks. After the chaos, head to the elder's cave mansion to help heal the wounded: gain a Fifth Grade Opportunity, move quietly, no worries behind, auspicious.][Perfectly neutral lot, don't join the crowd. Wait for the right moment. After the chaos, go to Ganoderma Terrace, obtain a Sixth-Rank Opportunity, but attracting envy and trouble, hidden dangers, average.][Moderately unlucky lot, join in the selection, maybe get chosen. But before gaining anything, you'll face catastrophe, get stuck in mortal peril, injuries or death likely, ominous.]

Those people killed her grandmother, murdered her younger brother, trampled the people she deeply cared about, and even took her own life.

It was because she trusted her ambitious stepmother and half-sister;

because she mistakenly believed that womanly virtue is to have no talent;

because of her noble status and origin….This is what caused her death.

Buried in river water, Ouyang Nuan, gritted her teeth and spoke, “I, Ouyang Nuan was wronged in death. Even if it takes forever, I will become a devil, and in the next life, will not let you off!”

When she once again opened her eyes, Ouyang Nuan was sent back in time to when she was twelve years old. Around this age, her forehead was scarred, her brother fell into the water, and in three years she will be married…

In this life, she will try to change everything to guard and protect those she cares for from those with treacherous intentions. She will live a glorious life!

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