Witcher: I Can Extract Everything - Chapter 285 - Conditions

Isabella was supposed to be sipping champagne at a luxury spa, not waking up in the middle of a forest. Worse, a SYSTEM had attached itself to her like some clingy ex, spouting nonsense about survival, quests, and—oh, hell no—manual labor.“System, I was NOT built for the wilderness! My ideal ‘roughing it’ experience involves a five-star hotel with bad WiFi!”Now, instead of lounging in silk robes, she’s being ordered to farm? To hunt?“A farming quest? You want me—a city girl—to grow food? System, I once killed a cactus by overwatering it. This is NOT my calling!”And don’t even get her started on the hygiene situation.“You want me to bathe in a cold river? Darling, I require warm water, scented oils, and an ambience! What do I look like—some barbarian?!”Unfortunately, the locals—big, muscular beastmen—don’t seem to understand the concept of self-care. The women? Neglecting their skin like it’s a crime to be radiant. The men? Walking hygiene disasters.“Ladies, if your man can smell you before he sees you, we have a problem.”“You see this? This is lotion. It exists so you don’t look like a dried-up leaf. Use it.”“A beard should be majestic, not tragic. Let me fix it.”And the beastmen? They don’t just stare at her like she’s an oddity. No, they hover. They smirk. They lean in too close, fangs flashing with amusement.“Why do you keep looking at me like that?” she huffed, crossing her arms.The panther grinned, his tail flicking. “Because you’re fascinating when you’re annoyed.”No, absolutely not. She was not here for this nonsense.“If you have time to stare, you have time to moisturize.”She didn’t ask to be here. She didn’t ask to be their savior. But if she has to suffer through this world, she’s making everyone around her suffer less—through skincare, style, and some serious attitude.“If I hear one more ‘We don’t season our food here,’ I’m launching a war.”“If you have time to gossip, you have time to do squats.”“You want to impress a woman? Start with not smelling like the battlefield.”Survival isn’t just about fighting monsters; it’s about looking good while doing it. So what if the System keeps throwing impossible quests her way?“What do you mean ‘you can’t skip quests’?! Since when?! Where is the skip button?! I demand a skip button!”But somewhere between dodging ridiculous quests and fixing these people’s tragic grooming habits, Isabella found herself in situations. Uncomfortable, heart-racing situations.Like being trapped against a tree by the red python, his red eyes half-lidded as he murmured, “You talk too much, little star. Should I silence you?”Like waking up with the lion lord’s fur-lined cloak draped over her shoulders, his deep voice gruff, “You shiver in your sleep. I’ll fix that.”Like the phoenix watching her every move, his burning gaze searing into her skin as he mused,“You cause chaos wherever you go, but I find that I don’t mind.”Oh, hell. No. She was not about to fall for four beastmen. She was too pretty for this much stress.“If you insult me again, I’ll make sure your soul needs a beauty upgrade.”“I refuse to be disrespected by anyone who dresses like an unwashed tree branch.”And yet, when a rival tribe came to challenge her, when danger lurked too close, those same beastmen stood beside her—smirking, taunting, fighting for her.“A beastman growled at me today. I growled back. He ran. I am the alpha now.”Isabella isn’t just surviving. She’s thriving. And this world better keep up.

Kang Li woke up in the body of the sickly beauty, the youngest daughter of the Kang family in Aoli Village, who had been spoiled and pampered all her life.The original host had a tough life, first being dumped, then marrying a divorced man in a fit of anger to become a stepmother, only to find herself unfortunately becoming the control set for another stepmother in the courtyard.She could certainly be considered a top contender for cannon fodder among supporting female characters.But to Kang Li, none of this was a problem.All she knew was that the so-called divorced man was a returned overseas research talent, busy with work, with a high salary and good looks, and was hardly ever at home. In these times, where food and clothing were scarce and communication was done by shouting, marrying him was nothing but good news to her, who just wanted to live the life of a salted fish.Kang's Mother: ...my daughter's gone silly!Brothers (sisters-in-law, nephews, and nieces): ...our sister (young auntie) has gone mad!However, apart from the head of the household, Captain Kang, the rest of the family were all sweating on Kang Li's behalf, worried that the delicate and frail treasure of the house (sister, young aunt) wouldn't be able to handle the grievances of being a stepmother and might hurt herself from the stress.The villagers who knew about the Kang family's situation gathered together, spewing sour words and gossiping, especially those who bore no good will and were just waiting to see the Kang family's downfall.Yet, Kang Li's life after marriage was not only blissful, but her husband doted on her, her stepchildren adored her, calling her mom the moment they opened their mouths. They clung to her like people possessed, and the wife (stepmother) had them following her every step.A certain flabbergasted system: I thought the host I was bound to was bronze-tier, but it turns out she's actually king-tier.Luo Yanqing was naturally indifferent, with only work on his mind, but somehow, he started to find himself looking forward to holidays, although he rarely managed to go home once a whole year.

[More funny than happy + metaphysics slap in the face + entertainment circle + 1v1 Shuangjie]

The doomsday boss of Taoism caught up with the last train to wear books and became a fake daughter of abusive literature. At the beginning, she avoided all kinds of people with evil intentions, but learned that she was a last-class citizen and would be repatriated by the empire at any time?

Qu Jian’er can only resume her old career and open the door to a new world. The left hand grasps variety shows and acting (earning small money), and the right hand scientifically preaches and solves doubts (earning big money).

Next to her booth, there is often a holographic projection super-large loudspeaker, which plays in a 360° loop without dead ends:

10% off life-saving emblem,

More cost-effective recharge discounts;

Buy one get one free on the Pure Heart and Tranquility Talisman,

New customers sell and buy instant discount of 3 yuan.

There are also evil obstacle purifiers, aura locators, resentment detectors, soul body translators, mecha blessing cards… waiting for you to snap up!

When she became a hot search again, most people ridiculed and sneered.

Top-ranking directors, well-known film stars, big traffic stars, business crocodiles, wealthy presidents, and empire bosses all came here admiringly: “Boss, help!”

There is a gentleman in the capital of the main star of the empire. It is rumored that he is very wise and close to demons, moody, insidious, cunning, and ascetic.

One day, this master confessed under the camera of the All-Star Live broadcast: “I checked today’s calendar, except for loving you~ all things, no, appropriate.”

Since then, the silence of most people has been “deafening”.

- Description from novelbuddy

“The world’s not fair, but fairness doesn’t pay the bills. You don’t wait for a handout — you build your own damn ladder, one step at a time.”Ethan Grey’s life was built on ambition, hard work, and hope — until a single accusation destroyed it all.Framed by his ruthless boss, Ethan loses his job, his reputation, and is left drowning in half a million dollars of debt.Cast aside by a society that thrives on crushing the weak, he’s at rock bottom with no way out.But in his darkest moment, something extraordinary happens. A mysterious system awakens, offering Ethan a second chance — but with rules.[Congratulations, You have awakened the Harem Investment System]It can’t make him rich overnight, and it won’t give him shortcuts. Instead, it points him toward physical investments: crumbling properties, broken-down machines, and forgotten treasures.Each one is a gamble, but with every success, the system rewards him with newfound skills and opportunities.