You've Got Mail: A Cautionary Tale - Chapter 1 - The Affairs of Adviser Wu

My name is Lynn, I am fourteen years old, I am from the Rhine, I live at 75 Brilliant Avenue in Catalina, I am unmarried but have a fiancée.

Now I am studying knowledge at the Rhine Institute, and I will go home before eight o’clock every day at the latest, even if I am pestered by my fiancee. I don’t smoke, I don’t drink alcohol, I go to bed at eleven o’clock in the evening, and I guarantee eight hours of sleep. Drink a cup of warm milk before going to bed, wake up and say good morning to the mirror. When the world ushers in the comfort of the morning light of the second day, I will practice the family-inspired swordsmanship as usual. In this way, everyone said I was normal.

–until today.

【Finally you are here! Fire Tong Liu Ming! 】

[Galgame is animated, will there be many exciting parts…..]

【Where the dream begins…… Wait a minute, I’m super! Where is this? Who are you handsome? ! 】

[Let me introduce:]

【What is standing in front of you now is the owner of a special physique who can become a suffering master anywhere. The only owner of the green to shiny crown. The emperor who created the empire and the tyrant who destroyed order. Because he is too miserable, he can’t see others. Well Lived Ultimate Villain – Mr. Lynn Blazer! ! 】

Lynn: “???”

- Description from novelbuddy

I found myself in a parallel universe, awakening as a male priest. Everything seemed perfect; after all, as a healer, specializing in aiding women should pose no issue, right? However, I couldn’t help but wonder about some peculiar spells in my repertoire.

Firstly, what in the world is the “Instantaneous Outbreak of Acute Gastroenteritis” spell? And don’t even get me started on the “Osteoporosis” spell. What purpose could these serve in my healing endeavors? The confusion only deepened with spells like “Blood Burn,” “Gradual Freeze,” and “Mental Chaos.” Can I still peacefully focus on healing women with such ominous abilities?

Comparing my spells to those of other professions, I couldn’t help but notice the stark contrast. Mages wield “Doomstorm” and “Ice Age,” swordsmen boast “Sword Rain: Homecoming” and “Wind-Cutter Slash,” while archers showcase “Arrow Rain: Shooting Stars” and “Storm Arrow.” Yet, my ultimate spells are disturbingly named “Cancer Cell Proliferation,” “T-Virus Infection,” and “Rabies Outbreak.”

In the midst of it all, a certain character, some crying girl, laments, “Noooo, I just took a bath, who would have thought that I would become infected!”

Meanwhile, a villain chillingly asks, “Do any of you know what it feels like to burst apart while spouting blood? No! You don’t know!”

Even a boss character confesses, “Dear family, who can understand? I just took a nap, and when I woke up, I suddenly found that I have no kidneys!”

Defy the Gods, Defy the laws that govern the universe, Defy space and time, Defy fate, defy death,Defy ‘I’. defy defying it selfselfish, cautious, envious and ruthless mc(new writer/ no experience writing whats so ever, so don't expect much ) ( English is not my first language)(high fantasy)

All the guests participating in the love variety show traveled to the infinite game and bound the love variety system.

[Guests, please start a heart-pounding date in a romantic place~]

Guests: … Romantic venues, do you mean Scream Amusement Park, Deadly Aquarium and Wraith Hotel?

When tasks are issued:
[The scorching heat is too hard to bear, please buy an ice cream for your companion! ]

Guest A looked at the scary clown with a row of sharp teeth in front of him, saliva even dripping on the ice cream, and swallowed hard.

[Please arrange a perfect candlelight dinner for your companions! ]

Guest B saw that the last person who was sent into the kitchen in the pot did not come out again, fell into deep thought, and looked down at the pot he was in.
[Please be the winner in this shooting game and win big prizes for your companions! ]
Guest C was tied to the target, looking in horror at the ghosts and guest D with a gun around him.
Guest D…Guest D tore up ghosts on the spot, snatched the big prize, and cleared the dungeon with a group of guests.
Live viewer: Wait, isn’t she a lazy and greedy waste? ! Why can everything?
Jiang Jingzhe: (without changing expression) This is a skill I learned in a dream before.
Jiang Jingzhe, 19 years old, female, got a job after coming out of the main god’s space and became an annoying female guest in a romance show. Now she is forced to retire and return to her job.
Precautions:
1. The copy has been archived
2. The background board of the hero, not a teammate

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- Description from novelbuddy