A Love I Shouldn't Feel-Chapter 17 : Heartbeats and Hesitations

Evening sunlight slipped through the curtains, casting a soft golden light across the hospital room.

Kyouko was still asleep, her breathing steady and light.

Haruki slowly opened his eyes... and froze.

His head was resting against her chest.

Her hand—small and delicate—was wrapped around his.

...Crap.

Panic surged through him. How did this happen? What if she wakes up now? What will she think of me?

He swallowed hard, his heart thumping in his chest. But then he glanced at their hands.

Her fingers were so slender. Warm. Smooth. There was something calming about the way she held him—like she didn't mind.

Haruki couldn't help but smile a little.

How can someone be this beautiful even when they're asleep?

Still, he knew he couldn't stay like this. Not without crossing a line.

With great care, he slowly loosened his fingers from hers—gently, so she wouldn't wake up. So she wouldn't know he was still holding on.

Haruki glanced at the clock on the wall.

6:30 p.m.

Time passed that fast?

He looked at Kyouko, still peacefully asleep. She probably hadn't eaten anything all day...

Just as he was about to stand, the door opened, and a doctor stepped in with a clipboard and a warm smile.

"You really love your wife, huh?" the doctor said casually, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

Haruki blinked, caught off guard. His body stiffened slightly.

Wife...? He glanced at Kyouko, remembering how they'd been when she fell asleep—his head on her chest, their hands intertwined.

He gave a small, awkward smile and nodded.

"...Yeah."

He couldn't bring himself to correct the doctor. Not when everything probably looked exactly like that.

"How is she, doctor?"

"She's good now. Just a fever—her vitals are stable. You can bring her home soon."

Haruki let out a breath of relief and bowed slightly. "Thank you."

Kyouko stirred, her eyes fluttering open as she heard soft voices nearby.

"...Hmm? Haruki?"

Haruki froze for a moment. His mind raced.

Kyouko-san? No... if I call her that, the doctor and nurse might get suspicious.

He cleared his throat and smiled gently. "Y-Yes, Kyouko?"

Before she could respond, the doctor stepped closer with a cheerful expression.

"You're good to go now," he said warmly. "I'm sure your husband has been worried about you."

Kyouko blinked in confusion for a moment, then her cheeks flushed slightly.

She glanced at Haruki, who gave a small, awkward smile. Neither of them corrected the doctor.

"Thank you, Doctor," Kyouko said softly, still a little dazed.

After the doctor left, a nurse came in a few minutes later with a gentle smile.

"We've finished your discharge paperwork. You're free to go once you're ready," she said, placing a clipboard on the table near Kyouko's bed before walking out.

Haruki picked up Kyouko's purse and turned to her with a soft smile. "Ready to go?"

Kyouko nodded slowly. She swung her legs over the edge of the bed, still a little weak on her feet. Without a word, Haruki offered his arm.

Kyouko didn't hesitate—she slipped her hand through his arm, resting it lightly around him. It felt natural. Comforting. She leaned into him a little as they walked.

They moved through the quiet hospital halls and eventually reached the payment counter.

"Sit here, I'll take care of it," Haruki said, guiding Kyouko gently to a nearby waiting bench.

She watched as he stepped up to the counter and handled the hospital bill, pulling out his bank card without a second thought.

Kyouko's eyes softened as she looked at him.

Why does this feel so... safe?

He didn't complain or hesitate. He just took care of her. And for the first time in a long time, she felt like someone truly saw her.

When they reached the parking lot, Haruki walked around to the passenger side, opened the door, and extended his hand toward her.

"Careful," he said softly.

Kyouko took his hand, her fingers curling around his as he helped her into the seat. There was something comforting about his quiet strength—steady and unhurried.

Haruki closed the door gently, then walked around the car and slid into the driver's seat. Just as he was about to start the engine, he noticed something.

"You didn't put on your seatbelt," he said, glancing over.

"Oh," Kyouko said, blinking in surprise.

Without waiting, Haruki leaned over, reaching for the seatbelt on her side. Kyouko's breath caught slightly as he leaned in close—his face just inches away and his shoulder brushing lightly against her arm. She could smell his faint, natural scent.

Her body stiffened for a moment, but she didn't pull back. She didn't want to make things awkward. She simply sat still, quietly watching as he clicked the belt into place.

"Thank you, Haruki," she whispered, her voice soft.

He leaned back and gave her a small smile. "No problem, Kyouko-san."

As he started the engine, silence settled between them—comfortable, warm, and just a little electric.

Once the car eased onto the road, the soft hum of the engine filled the silence.

"Haruki?" Kyouko's voice was quiet, almost hesitant.

"Yes, Kyouko-san?"

"Don't tell them about me being admitted to the hospital."

Haruki glanced at her, his eyebrows slightly raised. "Huh? Why?"

"I just... don't want them to worry," she replied, offering a small smile as she leaned back and closed her eyes.

But what she didn't say—what she kept hidden behind that tired smile—was the truth.

She wasn't afraid of worry. She was afraid of disappointment. She knew her husband well enough to guess his reaction: annoyance, maybe even anger. Not because she'd been ill, but because she had "made a fuss" over something like a fever.

Haruki glanced her way again. Her face was relaxed, eyes closed—but something about her expression tugged at him.

He didn't press further. He just kept driving.

Once they arrived home, Haruki carefully parked the car in the driveway. The rain had stopped, leaving the air cool and still.

He stepped out, walked around to the passenger side, and opened the door gently.

"Kyouko-san," he said softly, touching her arm. "We're home."

Her eyes fluttered open. "Oh... we've arrived?"

"Yes."

She tried to sit up, but her body was still weak—her muscles trembling with the effort.

Haruki noticed immediately. "Don't push yourself."

Before she could protest, he slid one arm under her knees and the other behind her back, lifting her into a princess carry.

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"W-wait—Haruki..." she stammered, flustered, her cheeks faintly pink.

"It's fine," he said calmly, his voice low. "You're still recovering."

Kyouko didn't resist. She quietly wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her cheek lightly against his shoulder.

The warmth of his body, his scent, and the steady rhythm of his steps made her heart feel... strange.

Safe. Nervous. Comforted.

She closed her eyes again, pretending not to notice how good it felt to be held like this.

( End Of Chapter )