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A Luna for Alpha Kieran-Chapter 50: Why
Chapter 50: Why
For a really long... long time... Autumn simply stared into Kieran’s eyes.
Her fingers slowly clenched around his shirt and she yanked him close as if trying to ask... "Why?" Yet not a single word left her mouth.
Kieran sat there, patient, looking back at her with the same intensity... hoping for a reaction... retaliation... anything. But it never came.
" I... I shouldn’t be here, Kieran!" Autumn tried to sit up.Tears slid down her cheeks. "You made vows to her, Kieran.You are a... married man! I shouldn’t... "
" You are my mate... my fated... "
" You chose someone else! Lyla is your mate now! Please don’t make this any more difficult than it already is... I am... I am not feeling very well... " She tried to push her way through but Kieran held her firm. " Feel like a whore right now...I feel illegitimate... like I have felt all my life... "
"I haven’t rejected you,Autumn.You are still very much my mate...The legitimate one. " he said quietly.
She flinched. "But you haven’t claimed me either" Kieran still held the towel, his fingers brushing her jaw.
Autumn sucked in a breath that felt like knives in her chest. "Why are you doing this?You made your choice. You stood under the Moon and claimed my sister. You left me...like everyone else! You..." Her voice rose until it broke again, and she turned her face away, hating the hot tears that spilled despite her effort to choke them back.
" I am right here, Autumn! I would never leave you!!! "
Autumn jerked back, as much as her weakened body would allow.She turned back sharply. "Why not?! Why would you not reject me and yet claim her? Do you know what that did to me? Do you have any idea what it was like... how it felt like when you... when you... " Autumn knew she was starting to hyperventilate. So she clutched the sheets tighter.
Kieran looked around and found a bottle and two glasses arranged at the bedside table. He quickly poured some for Autumn. " Here! Drink up! Breathe! " Autumn downed it in a gulp as Kieran slowly rubbed her back. Then after a pause he added. "I felt it, Autumn. Every time I touched her,all I felt was you.Only you." His voice broke a little. "I heard your voice in my head when we took those vows. I dreamed of your scent while I...while I marked her!" He stopped himself, clenching his jaw. "It was my punishment."
Autumn’s pulse thundered in her ears. Her fingers clutched the silk bed sheets tighter.
"I don’t understand," she whispered, defeated. "Tell me why?"
Kieran rose abruptly, walking to the edge of the bed like he needed to put distance between them. His fists clenched at his sides.Autumn stared at him, heart in her throat.
"I had to marry her," he bit out. "There was a reason..."
She bolted upright, heart pounding. "Then tell me what it was?!"
He flinched.
"Tell me the reason, Kieran!" she cried out, even more desperate. "Tell me why you sent me away, left me there all alone to rot in that fortress ,and then put a dagger in my back.And yet you had the nerve to hold me like this!" She ran her hand up her body, like a cradle.
"You should have at least rejected me," she whispered again, barely audible
He did not speak.
Autumn laughed, bitter and broken. "You won’t reject. You won’t explain. Because it was all a lie, wasn’t it? Some twisted little power play...I do understand a little bit of pack politics... you know. Don’t dismiss my intelligence just because I was a rogue! "
" I am not here to hurt you," Kieran’s face was extremely conflicted
"Oh! Don’t worry about that. You already hurt me more than my body can take...you still are. Remember how you ordered Mango to drag me away in front of everyone???" She scoffed, finally pushing herself off the bed. " I should just get going... There is no point of this... "
He stepped closer, his arms blocked her exit. He stared straight into her face. "I couldn’t let you see me with her. Not like that.I wanted to minimize the pain... as much as I could. "
Autumn blinked. "Then let me go now.Reject me and get this done with...it hurts every breathing second,Kieran...you wouldn’t know."
His expression darkened. "Don’t ask me that."
"Why not?"
"Because I won’t."
Her breath hitched. "So you will just stay in this... limbo?" she said bitterly. "Neither letting me go nor choosing me?New torture method unlocked, Alpha Kieran?" She let out a subtle chuckle. "Boss level!"
She staggered but he held her before she fell. Her eyes locked onto him yet again... searching... hoping... praying...
His silence was all the answer she needed.
"Don’t make promises to me you can’t keep. I am broken, Kieran. I can not keep up with your games. And I feel too tired..."
Her body leaned on to his.. Her eyes were getting heavier... And she almost lost balance yet again.
But Kieran held her steady. "Gosh! Autumn! You are burning up! "
Kieran’s hands tightened around her as her body swayed, her knees buckling beneath her.
"Damn! Are you running a fever?All of a sudden?"
She wanted to laugh. Damn! You did this to me.
But her lips wouldn’t move.
Her vision blurred at the edges, the room tilting as Kieran lifted her effortlessly, cradling her against his chest. The heat radiating off her skin was unbearable, even to her, and yet his proximity felt warm.
Kieran immediately tried to mindlink with Mango. No response. He tried again... still nothing!!! Fuck!
She tried to push against him as he held her, but her arms were leaden, her fingers barely twitching against his shirt.
"It’s getting worse...shit," he muttered, more to himself than to her, his voice rough. "Is your body rejecting the bond? Is this because of me?"
No shit.
She wanted to scream it at him. Of course!
Instead, she let out a weak, shuddering breath as he laid her back onto the bed. Autumn curled onto herself, shuddering, eyes closed.
Kieran’s hands were on her before she could protest...his fingers working at the buttons of her blouse, peeling the fabric away from her overheated skin.
She should have fought him.
She would have fought him.
If she could move.
But her limbs were too heavy at this point, her thoughts sluggish, like she was floating in some half dream like, half nightmare like state.
Nothing felt real... none of it.
The petals on the bed added to the effect. It’s smell took her straight to a floral garden... where she ran in a white gown... blue sky... Kieran right behind her.
His fingers brushed her collarbone, and she flinched...not from pain, but from the sheer intimacy of it.He teased her more in her dream.
"Your skin is burning up," he murmured, his voice low. "I need to cool you down."
She wanted to ask why he cared.
Wanted to demand he stop touching her.
But all that came out was a weak, broken whimper.
Kieran’s jaw clenched, his eyes darkening as he reached for the damp towel again, dipping it into the basin of water beside the bed.
The first touch of the cool cloth against her skin made her gasp.
His hand stilled. "Too cold?"
She did not answer.
But it did feel good...like relief after a lifetime of burning.
Kieran dragged the towel down her arms, her chest, her stomach.But he wasn’t looking at her body. He was looking at her face.
Though her breath hitched when the cloth skimmed the curve of her breast, her nipples pebbling beneath the damp fabric.
His fingers paused.
She squeezed her eyes shut, shame curling hot in her stomach.
Don’t look at me.
Don’t see me like this.
But Kieran did not stop.
He did not mock either...like he usually would. Not mock really...tease...till she flushed red.
He just... continued.
The towel traced the dip of her waist, the flare of her hips, the trembling muscles of her thighs, her legs.
And then...
His fingers brushed the inside of her knee, and her legs parted...just a fraction...before she caught herself, her breath coming in sharp, panicked bursts.
Kieran’s gaze snapped to hers...her core...his pupils blown wide.
For a heartbeat, neither of them moved.
Then...
"Turn over," he ordered, his voice rough...strained.
She did not refuse.
The sheets rustled as she rolled onto her stomach, her cheek pressing into the pillows, her fingers clutching the silk... her heart thudding with building anticipation.
What the hell did she even want? Even she did not know.
However, Kieran’s breath hitched behind her.
Slowly the towel dragged down her spine.Too slow and torturous.It traced every vertebra like a Goldsmith forging some precious ring. fɾeewebnoveℓ.co๓
Her back arched involuntarily, a soft moan escaping her lips before she could choke it back.
Kieran’s hand stilled again.
Then his fingers dug into her skin...not painful, at all but a lot possessive...as he leaned down, his lips brushing the shell of her ear.
"Mine...only mine," he growled.
The word sent a severe shudder through her...her body betraying her yet again.Autumn could feel Kieran’s wolf... his desperation...his pheromones taking over every sense.
She wanted it to be true.
And that was the worst betrayal of all.
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