A Mate For The Last Lycan-Chapter 73: SELF LOATHING

At some point, Zuri wanted Khaos to hurt her, but at the same time, the way he treated her differently was the reason why she was attracted to him, why she was obsessed with him.

The gentleness of him felt like a sin, something that she shouldn't touch or explore, but she craved it regardless.

Khaos still ran his hand up and down her ribcage, his brows furrowed for some reason that Zuri was not sure, since she was still struggling to urge him to hurt her.

When you grew up with constant presence of pain and fear, these feeling would feel like 'home', because you knew what to expect and how to react to them, yet tenderness was bizarre.

However, when Zuri thought Khaos would do something to her, he simply rested his hand on her wrist. He held her hand lightly. His grip was too gentle for her liking and it felt like he was holding something delicate, fragile. Zuri despised the thought, but liked it at the same time. It was a very complicated feeling that ran through her mind.

"What is Red Feather?" Khaos suddenly asked the question that she didn't expect at all. His grip around her wrist a little bit tightened when Zuri jerked away from him out of instinct. "What kind of medicine is that?"

Zuri tried to get away from Khaos. Panic was written all over her face right now and this alerted Khaos even more.

"The medicine doesn't exist. No owner of drugstore knew what kind of medicine is that." Khaos leaned over. "Tell me, what medicine is that."

There was no escape. Zuri was forced to admit her craziness to him. Khaos wouldn't let her go with half ass explanation and she was too anxious to even control her expression and the alpha caught to it quickly.

"What medicine is that?" Khaos narrowed his eyes. "Are you going to drug me?"

Zuri looked mortified upon hearing the accusation. She widened her eyes in disbelief, as she shook her head. "No. Of course, not. I will never do that to you."

And at the same time, she heard what people said, the accusation that was put over her head.

If Zuri was heartless enough to betray her parents and her own mate, what else she couldn't do? She didn't care about her family, she could betray anyone and how untrustworthy she was.

She heard the voices and saw the faces that judged her for her betrayal.

"I will never do that to you!" Zuri became rather hysterical. All of her senses were amplified.

Giving to her history, the urge to prove herself to him that she didn't betray him, became more unreasonable. She was frantic.

Khaos had never seen this side of her, where she couldn't control herself. He then pulled her and hugged her and when Zuri kept rambling about how she wouldn't hurt him, Khaos simply patted her back and waited for her to calm down. He pressed her head against his chest and cradled her in his arms.

It took some time for Zuri to compose herself and only then, she told him that the medicine was for her, yet she was still vague with her explanation.

"Why do you need the medicine? Are you sick?"

She was indeed sick, but not the sickness that Khaos imagined. "Yes, I am sick," Zuri murmured, she closed her eyes when she saw Xaden smirked mockingly at her. She didn't want to see him. He kept appearing every now and then. She was sick of seeing him.

However, closing her eyes didn't prevent her to hear his voice in her head.

'Of course, you are sick. You are sick in the head. You are crazy and now you need to explain that to him. Good luck with that.'

Zuri was terrified.

Meanwhile, Khaos didn't say anything because he could feel the turmoil inside her, he also could feel her spines that protruding when he caressed her back and this made him frowning and thinking; did she throw up every time she ate? In that case, it would explain why she lost weight so fast, despite she ate normally.

"Is it this sickness that made you throw up every time you finished eating?" Khaos asked again after a long silent.

Right now, the sky had turned red, it was almost dinner time and they had been in this position for more than two hours.

Another silent stretched and Khaos didn't force her to answer him, but Zuri knew, he wouldn't let go of this topic.

"I- I hear voices in my head..." Zuri finally said, she stuttered and her minds ran so fast, myriad thoughts flashed in her mind along with her anxiety and her fear of what could be Khaos's reaction after he heard what actually happened with her.

"Voices? What voices?"

Zuri buried her face even more when she explained the voices in her head that kept telling her to do irrational thing.

She didn't know how she managed to tell him that. She was sure that she stumbled on her own words and her explanation was a mess, but Khaos listened to her patiently.

It was hard to explain what was actually going on in her mind when she herself was not sure what the right word to say to make her explanation more understandable. freeweɓnøvel.com

"At first, the voices are stoic, without any warmth, but gradually it became real... as if there will always be a few vindictive people, who kept telling me to do something... something outrageous."

"Such as?"

Zuri gulped down. She shouldn't have told him about it. She should have lied about the medicine, but then she blurted out everything.

She confided to him about what those voices had been telling her for years, just like a child would do to their parents.

"They told me to kill someone, to hurt them... to kill myself. I am sick. I am crazy. There is something wrong with me. I am disgusting..."