America 1982-Chapter 668 - 9: In the Name of Diplomacy

Pam sat at the bar of the Heaven Strip Club in Providence, Rhode Island, watching the TV broadcast of Dennis announcing his presidential campaign and said, somewhat sighing:

"Dennis can run for President in this country, what does that say?"

The club’s hall was empty except for the three of them, only him, Jim, and Tommy, with little Page guest-starring as the bartender.

Tommy spoke from the side, "It means America has become so strong that even if an idiot is elected President, there’s no worry he’ll ruin the country."

On TV, Dennis, suited and booted, looking every bit the part, was taking questions from reporters. One reporter asked, "Mr. Dennis Herbs, you’ve always stated that you would be an excellent captain, leading America, the world’s most magnificent ship, to the shores of freedom."

"Exactly, that’s why I stepped forward to run, America needs a better captain," Dennis replied warmly.

The reporter continued, "But some people question whether under your lead America would become a Titanic of sorts."

"Of course, it will be just like the Titanic," Dennis maintained his smile and echoed.

His words left the reporters momentarily dumbfounded.

"Sir, are you sure you know what the Titanic is?" the querying reporter asked again.

Dennis nodded, "I know, I certainly know, no one knows the Titanic better than I do, the sunken cruise ship, right? The movie’s very famous, I know the lead actress."

"Yes, we all know you know the lead actress, after all, reporters have caught you entering and leaving a hotel with the film’s lead actress," the reporter suddenly realized he couldn’t continue grilling Dennis in the usual manner, as it seemed the man hadn’t grasped that people were questioning his leadership ability with the Titanic analogy and therefore shifted the topic to scandal.

Dennis immediately corrected the reporter, "I must explain, although it’s true I had some intimate hotel entries and exits with Miss Winslett, in fact, it was because she is friends with my long-time buddy, Major General Glen of the United States Army, a supporter of the LGBTQ community. Glen himself is a member of the LGBTQ, physically a man but psychologically a woman, and of course, I am also a member of the LGBTQ. I’m sorry I’ve deceived my wife for so many years out of insecurity, but she chose to forgive me, and now I take this opportunity to formally announce that I am LGBTQ, Glen is my other half. Admitting this takes courage, just like it takes to manage America. If I didn’t have the courage to face such familial emotional issues, how would I confront this nation’s adversities!"

"Some say I was too intimate with Ms. Winslett, and this is disrespectful to my partner Glen and me, because Winslett was only acting as a close friend, applying nail polish to my toenails in the room to make me more attractive to Glen," he added.

"Sir... are you coming out at the press conference for the presidential primary election announcement?" the reporter was dumbstruck, and after a moment managed to stutter out the question.

Pam, watching the TV, was also a bit dazed and asked Tommy, "Did Dennis and Catherine’s marriage run into trouble?"

"Not long before preparing for the campaign, that dunce Dennis was caught by journalists as he was intimate with Winslett in a hotel room without drawing the curtains. It was blurry, only showing him standing with Winslett kneeling in front of him. Whether she was biting or painting toenails was up to his explanation. Dennis’s crisis PR did well; the next day, reporters under Ted released new high-resolution photos showing Dennis at the hotel window getting a pushcart by old man Glen, which sent America’s black folks and the LGBTQ community into a collective climax."

"Not only could he get a large number of votes from these two groups, but he could also tell everyone, including Winslett’s husband, that he is gay; how could a gay man have an affair with Winslett? It was merely a matter of simply applying nail polish to her toes," he explained.

"Dennis has sacrificed too much for his presidential campaign. Is Catherine going to divorce him?" Pam asked with emotion.

Tommy shook his head, "Catherine doesn’t care who Dennis sleeps with, whether it’s a movie star, a black person, or an alien. She just wants to be the First Lady of America. She won’t divorce him; she’ll continue to support him as a family member."

"You should say that black man Glen has sacrificed too much for Dennis, just like Martin by Tommy’s side," Jim said as he sipped on his high-calorie, high-sugar cola.

It took the reporter a long time to react before he continued to ask, "Let’s get back to the topic of the Titanic, sir. What do you think about the comparison of America, under your leadership, to the sinking Titanic? It’s not a very optimistic analogy."

Fearing that Dennis might not understand, he even went so far as to clarify the question.

Dennis scanned his surroundings, then began to speak with a somewhat heavy expression, "The sinking of the Titanic wasn’t the captain’s fault, nor was it the passengers’. It was the company that made it cutting corners, corrupt, making it with cheap steel, which was terrible. Just like America now. The journey toward freedom is beautiful, of course, very beautiful, people witness various landscapes along the way. I dare not promise that, during my time as the captain, I can accompany all Americans who long for freedom to reach the other shore, but I guarantee that as a United States Army officer who has served for many years and loves this country more than myself, the one thing I can promise is that even if America really sinks like the Titanic one day, I will do my best to get all the passengers on the lifeboats, and as the captain, I will stand my ground until death, never backing down."

"Translate that, what does that mean, Tommy? Dennis has been speaking less and less human language since he got into politics," Pam said, curling her lip at Tommy after hearing Dennis’s speech.

Tommy yawned, "It means that even if America turns out to be worse off during his time in office, he will still seek reelection. Even if America perishes, it will perish in his hands."

"Why do you want to run for president?" the reporter asked the final question on TV.

"It’s an obvious question because the job of president doesn’t require me to have any work experience. In fact, quite the opposite. If I had eight years of experience as president, I wouldn’t be eligible to run. America always demands that its presidents must be pure novices, without need for education, background, just citizenship, and I qualify to run," Dennis said with a hint of sarcasm, then changed the topic:

"Back to your question, why I’m running: because it’s a right bestowed upon every American by the United States Constitution, because I and other ordinary people like me, who started from the bottom, no longer trust those politicians who only know how to deceive us with lofty words. That’s why I’m here, to fight for America’s freedom, democracy, racial diversity, and the LGBTQ community."

Just then, the door to the stripper club’s private room opened, and Dennis walked out, hitching up his pants, not forgetting to look back at the dressing stripper in the room, "Babe, remember to cast your sacred vote for me. I promise, once elected, to give strippers some favorable policies."

"The American public must be thrilled to see you still reflecting on the people’s conditions while screwing a prostitute, showing such concern for the nation and its people," Tommy said as he took a sip of whiskey.

Dennis came and sat down next to Tommy, "Please, Catherine and I booked the best nightclub in Boston for your party, and yet I’m left with illegal immigrants for the rest of the time?"

"Because an illegal immigrant’s word isn’t enough evidence; even if they want to tell the public about their services to you, they won’t stand a chance in court. Like that South American girl who was just with you, it won’t be long before someone sends her back to her country," Tommy explained.

Dennis frowned as he picked up a glass of whiskey upon hearing Tommy’s words, "No, that’s inhumane."

"So what then?" Tommy retorted.

After downing his whiskey, Dennis got up and walked toward the private room, pulling the stripper who had just left back into an embrace, "Of course, to have another go at her before she leaves, let’s go, darling. I want to ’visit’ you one more time, in the name of diplomacy."