Become a Star-Chapter 116

The moment the diary was found, the rumors spreading around were confirmed to be true. The people who served the queen would have wanted to eliminate the evidence entirely, but they didn’t have enough time to do so. Hence, they had no choice but to hide Queen Yoon’s disgraceful act.

“I didn’t read the diary back then because I had no interest in it, but I read it this time around. Everyone else says it’s sorrowful and heartbreaking, but in my opinion, she’s truly one hell of a bitch.” The more she spoke, the more agitated Hwang Yi-Young became, and her voice grew louder too.

“On the day before the selection process[1], Prince Myeong-Hwan visited her and asked her to somehow figure out a way to fail the screening test. However, after that, even though she told him she would take care of it, she did her best to become one of the top three candidates. It’s funny how she cried about it and tried to justify that she sacrificed herself for the sake of her father and family.” Thus, Hwang Yi-Young argued that Queen Yoon was an opportunist and a two-faced person who was power-hungry.

“Ultimately, Prince Myeong-Hwan had low standards. Or maybe he was into bad girls. But even though she was the most wicked woman of all time, it doesn’t mean she’s not the love of someone else’s life. Ha, even a married woman like her was in love, whereas I….” Hwang Yi-Young started grumbling at some point, but her opinion about Queen Yoon wasn’t wrong because Woo-Jin felt the same way about her.

“That’s because she was a person who never gave up on anything.” Queen Yoon didn’t want to give up on anything — from the honor and wealth bestowed upon her by her status as the queen to Prince Myeong-Hwan’s unconditional love for her. As soon as the king got married to his concubine, Queen Moon-Jin hurried Prince Myeong-Hwan’s wedding ceremony as a political move.

Prince Myeong-Hwan was widowed at the age of 17, and it was rather strange that he didn’t have a second wife at that age. His wedding took place quickly, and Queen Yoon couldn’t tolerate it. She entered the palace and ordered the servant she brought with her to send a letter to the prince. In the letter, she gently admonished her lover for cheating on her. Prince Myeong-Hwan was so overwhelmed with emotion that he sent a long and detailed letter in response.

“If you look at the diary along with Prince Myeong-Hwan’s diary….” Hwang Yi-Young was cut short while talking.

“Seriously, noona!” Woo-Jin said.

“What?” she asked.

“Please stop talking about the letter,” he said.

Perhaps, that servant turned Sanggung was the one who hid the queen’s diary. She was the only person who knew about the relationship between the queen and the prince and also the contents of the queen’s diary. What did Prince Myeong-Hwan say in response to the woman who sent him a letter telling him not to get married after abandoning him and marrying his brother, thus becoming his sister-in-law? He told her that all he wanted was the flower picked by its owner and vanished in the house and not unknown flowers blooming in the garden. He also added that no flower could replace the scent that permeated his chest, and the scent of alcohol became his only friend, sharing his frustrations. The content of his letter was very childish.

It’s not just anyone else — it’s my past life!

However, he couldn’t curse only his past self for being an imbecile because Woo-Jin did something similar a few years ago. Woo-Jin’s face gradually turned pale as soon as he recalled the pathetic things he had done when he got dumped by his first love. Woo-Jin wondered if his soul was that consistent. As the prince, he had even committed suicide in front of the person he loved for not loving him back, so he couldn’t just find fault with a particular past identity for being foolish. His personality and preferences had simply been engraved in his soul. He loved those women the way he loved art. At times he was obsessed with them and wanted to own them or give anything and everything unconditionally to them to keep them by his side.

For the first time, Woo-Jin felt that he needed to let go of the lingering feelings he still had for his first love. Those feelings weren’t going to disappear just because he wanted them to. Woo-Jin hadn’t gotten rid of his lingering feelings for Lee So-Hyun that had been tucked away somewhere. He used to think there was no harm in being on good terms with her.

However, when he looked back on his past lives and what Prince Myeong-Hwan had done because of the current circumstances, he felt it was truly a bad idea. Hypothetically speaking, if he had a next life and became an actor again, how would it turn out if he were to be cast in a movie depicting Chae Woo-Jin’s life story, where he would tell the story of his first love? It was a shameful past that could not even be compared to Prince Myeong-Hwan’s history with Queen Yoon.

Even if you die, it doesn’t mean you’re dead.

Prince Myeong-Hwan’s past was a little embarrassing, but remembering the things he had done himself was difficult. And he didn’t want to spend his entire life at a loss like Prince Myeong-Hwan, pining for only one woman.

“Are you okay, Woo-Jin? You look very pale. Should I talk to the director and ask him to postpone the shoot?” Hwang Yi-Young asked in concern.

“No, it’s okay. I just realized something important,” he said.

“That the queen is a bitch?” Hwang Yi-Young’s indifferent words stabbed Woo-Jin like a dagger once again. Then, suddenly, it hit him clearly — all the women he had ever loved were of the same type. While his attitude towards his lovers was consistent, all his lovers’ personalities were also, by and large, the same, with just a few differences.

“Yeah, she’s absolutely a terrible woman,” Woo-Jin acknowledged. And he was a total fool. A fool’s love was always reckless and blind, failing to see the people for who they were. Even though he liked such women, Oh Ha-Na was absolutely nothing close to that. As Woo-Jin prepared for the scene where Prince Myeong-Hwan met Queen Yoon for the first time and fell in love with her, he was worried.

How should I express my love for that woman? Should I express the actual Prince Myeong-Hwan’s obsessive and crazy love as it is, or should I portray a purer version?

After calming himself down, Woo-Jin tried to imagine Prince Myeong-Hwan’s version of ordinary love.

“Ready, action!” As soon as Woo-Jin heard Director Yoon’s cue, he became a cheerful 20-year-old Prince Myeong-Hwan.

“D-do you really have to do this, Prince Myeong-Hwan?”

Prince Myeong-Hwan was wearing a shabby dopo; the painter looked at him with a pale and fearful face as he shook his head. The prince had been financially supporting the painter the entire time. Perhaps, the painter never could have imagined a day like today would come, so he was sweating continuously and getting flustered.

“O-ho, I am your disciple today! I am in your hands, teacher.” Prince Myeong-Hwan had dressed up as a poor artist and said he would follow the painter around today. He lacked skills, so he decided to make arrangements to become the painter’s disciple and shadow him.

“Okay, which gibang[2] are we going to today?” the prince asked. The painter specialized in painting portraits. He was especially famous for drawing women very well. However, since men and women were distinctly different, he was rarely hired by the Yangban. The painter mainly worked in gibangs, and his job was to paint the kisaengs there.

“You picked the wrong day. A filial son had requested me to paint a portrait of his elderly mother,” said the painter.

“Oh no, that’s regrettable!” said the prince.

“Yes, so today, please….” said the painter.

“Pasque flowers are still flowers.[3]” Instead, Lee Hoo was rather interested in seeing how the painter was going to portray the old lady, so he was more than happy to tag along. He wanted to shadow the painter because he wanted to learn the techniques of drawing portraits — not to ogle at the subject of the paintings.

“What’s going to happen if your identity gets exposed?” the painter asked.

“None of the court officials are going to recognize me in this getup. In fact, it’s even more dangerous for me to go to a gibang.” He didn’t have a lot of people he was that close with, so nobody could imagine him doing something like this in such disguise. Lee Hoo was well-aware that it was impossible for those people to even think about him.

The painter looked at the elated prince and became flustered because he didn’t know what to do. Even though they weren’t going to a high-ranking official’s residence, the place they were going to seemed to be the residence of a fairly prestigious Yangban family. A servant came out to greet them and guided them to a well-lit room in the outer-wing building to the south of the main building.

“Mother, the painter who will be painting your portrait is here.”

“What? Who’s here?”

The mistress of the residence appeared to be about 40 years old. She tried explaining to the subject of today’s portrait, but the elderly lady was hard of hearing and tilted her head. The elderly lady looked at the painter and Lee Hoo with blurry vision, but shortly after, beckoned them to sit down, seemingly having understood the situation.

“Why are you drawing a portrait of me? It’s only going to break my son’s heart.” Perhaps she knew her son’s desire to see his elderly mother for a long time by capturing what she currently looked like, so the elderly lady positioned herself properly.

“It’s hard for her to sit for a long time because of her age.”

“Yes, so I’m just going to draw a simple sketch today.” After hearing the painter’s words, Lee Hoo skillfully organized the various painting tools and took out the oilpaper and charcoal before laying them out in front of them. Lee Hoo acted as the painter’s assistant, making him feel uncomfortable. The moment the painter grabbed the charcoal, he drew a line on the oilpaper as though he had forgotten about everything else.

Lee Hoo became a passionate student and observed the painter as he looked at the subject and sketched her every distinctive feature and wrinkle without leaving out any of them. He traced over the lines drawn by the painter with his finger. He looked at the elderly lady and was engrossed in thinking about how he would have drawn the same part if he were to draw her himself.

“Grandmother, mother!” A young woman could be heard entering the room with light refreshments. Lee Hoo was busy watching the painter drawing a sketch of the portrait, so he didn’t raise his head even though he heard footsteps of someone walking along his side. He seemed to have heard the mother nagging her daughter, lecturing her for intruding, coupled with the daughter’s laughter. Finally, the daughter made an excuse saying she came into the room to watch.

As soon as the painter stopped painting for a moment to observe the elderly lady, Lee Hoo raised his head as well. After looking at her beautiful hands that didn’t seem to have done any menial labor in her entire life and the wrinkles around her mouth, Lee Hoo’s gaze shifted to the side. At that moment, he made eye contact with the young lady sitting next to the elderly lady.

The greatest bitch of all time!

Woo-Jin let out a stifled laugh. Lee Hoo had suddenly recalled what Hwang Yi-Young had said earlier and forgot where he was for a second. He laughed out loud.

“Hahaha!”

If it were Woo-Jin, he wouldn’t have laughed so casually, but he was currently Lee Hoo, the candid prince that did not hold himself back. Even if the other party was the greatest bitch of all time, the man who loved her would take pleasure in this too. The prince sat comfortably, hitting his knee with his hand as he laughed.

“Cut?”

Lee Hoo somewhat came to his senses after hearing Director Yoon’s bewildered voice. He wiped his tears and looked back at Director Yoon, and apologized with a mischievous look on his face. He couldn’t do anything because it was too funny. After laughing to his heart’s content for quite some time, he became Woo-Jin once again. He spotted Oh Ha-Na among the actors that were looking at him. No, she was currently Queen Yoon, Yoon Hwa-Eun.

As Hwang Yi-Young had said, Yoon Hwa-Eun was a stereotypical bad girl. Despite knowing everything, Prince Myeong-Hwan loved her. The kind of person she was wasn’t an important issue to him. Woo-Jin wanted to let the young and innocent lady know what a warm and beautiful love was. Even though Chae Woo-Jin himself wasn’t familiar with it either, he hoped that their love would bloom beautifully. Right now, this was an excellent opportunity for Prince Myeong-Hwan to create a different love, which would have been great if things had developed this way back then.

After Woo-Jin had calmed himself down and finished preparing, they resumed shooting once again. The moment his gaze met Yoon Hwa-Eun’s gaze, Lee Hoo had a strange feeling that they were destined to meet. Instead of falling crazily in love at first sight like Prince Myeong-Hwan did, Lee Hoo tried to start their romance slowly and steadily.

1. All potential royal consorts would have to undergo a selection process where the chosen candidate would become the future queen. ☜

2. Gibang is the place where a kisaeng (women from outcast or slave families who were trained to be courtesans) lived in ancient Korea. ☜

3. Pasque flowers are called 할미꽃 in Korean. Its direct translation is ‘grandmother flower.’ The writer basically says that just because she’s old doesn’t mean she isn’t a woman. ☜