Become a Star-Chapter 238

It became Woo-Jin’s new daily routine to review the film footage with Ian while sharing their opinions.

Having abandoned his pride and going back to the basics, Ian was very ambitious and full of energy. And he got along surprisingly well with Woo-Jin.

{Albert is very easygoing if you look at him from a certain perspective. Would he still be the same if he could see?} Ian asked.

Even though he himself was playing Albert, Ian felt like the blind man was quite sly.

{I think he wouldn’t have changed. He would’ve had his suspicions and found things a bit odd, but I believe he would’ve still followed the peace and calm in front of him. That’s why I think the author took away Albert’s sight and gave him indulgence in return.} Woo-Jin shared his thoughts.

If Albert were not blind, he would most likely have been criticized of being guilty and Lloyd’s accomplice by the readers of Confession of White.

But his insensitivity and indifference was overshadowed by his blindness, thus he was forgiven.

{Geez, why is the author so ruthless with Lloyd but so generous with Albert?}

Setting his curiosity aside, Ian was secretly delighted and called out the unknown author in a friendly manner. The fact that he was acting in one of his favorite novels, and that his character was being loved and favored by the author made him ecstatic.

{It’s quite pressuring, having to play such a beloved character.} Ian commented.

{Don’t forget that Lloyd is still the main character.} Woo-Jin said proudly.

Whether or not the author loved him, the protagonist of the story was Lloyd. Sitting right next to the Korean actor, Ian kicked Woo-Jin’s chair and playfully pushed him away.

{Try growing old and playing only supporting roles everyday.}

{I’m already playing a lot of supporting roles. I even received the award for Best Supporting Actor last year.}

Ian was trying to tease him, but when Woo-Jin fought back and even bragged about his achievements, Ian couldn’t help but burst out in laughter.

Ian had only played main characters ever since his debut. So on the first time he had to play a supporting role because of his old age, the shock was quite considerable. Till today, he still had a sore throat thinking back on that time. His self-esteem had taken a huge hit back then. Ian had a hard time recovering after that, and even gave up on acting for a while.

Compared to him, Woo-Jin was simply playing whichever role that interested him, regardless if it was a supporting role or not.

Looking at Woo-Jin’s filmography, he had soared in popularity as soon as he debuted. However, he played various characters within a short period of time and built his career step by step, as if he were steadily walking up stairs.

That was probably why he had such a unwavering mind and why he wasn’t impatient about his roles.

Woo-Jin literally had no fear. Even if he took on a supporting role, he had the acting skills to overwhelm the main character at the center of the show.

Playing a supporting role was not a failure for Woo-Jin, but rather a new attempt and adventure.

Because of this mindset, Woo-Jin always kept his manners around supporting actors and extras. There was a sense of companionship in his attitude.

On the other hand, Woo-Jin had boasted to Ian about being the main character just now because the two had become close enough and had gotten rid of formalities between each other.

And no matter how much Woo-Jin bragged about being the main character, he couldn’t hold a candle to Ian’s entire career. He was like a puppy in front of a majestic tiger.

{Alright, I admit it! It’s really difficult to win the Best Supporting Actor award. Maybe I should aim to win that this time around.} Ian exclaimed.

Although he had won many awards thus far, Ian had yet to win a Best Supporting Actor award among his trophies. That was why he had purposefully remarked that it was very difficult to win that award. But this time, there was a high chance that he could win the Best Supporting Actor award, so he was determined to start working on it in advance.

{About Lloyd, don’t you think it would be interesting to make him the protagonist of a hero movie? Something like an apostle of darkness who reigns in the dark alleys and embodies justice.} Ian suddenly said.

{But isn’t he already an anti-hero right now?}asked Woo-Jin.

It was a bit boring to watch the film’s footage because there was no CGI in the scenes yet. But the editing team planned to put in a lot of effort into the scenes where Lloyd used his superpowers and the scenes where he painted.

When they imagined the final cuts in their minds, the scenes with CGI became a feast for the eye and captivated audiences despite not having cool or extravagant action sequences.

However, Lloyd was far from an embodiment of justice, so he was not an exemplary protagonist. Instead, he was like an antihero who lived as he pleased, set his own rules, chose his victims, and took revenge on the world in his own style.

{True that. Even though I said he could embody justice, I described him as an apostle of darkness, so he would be an antihero. Appearance-wise, Lloyd is a perfect match for the light, but he could never live there. What was the author thinking when making such a character the protagonist of his novel?}

Ian had always been curious to know what L. Dmítri thought about Lloyd.

The writing showed no affection or compassion towards the main character, so he speculated that the author had a similar personality as Lloyd.

Ian could sense a little of the author’s feelings through Lloyd in Confession of White, and they seemed somewhat similar to self-hatred.

{Rather than self-hatred, I think he was envious.} Woo-Jin commented.

{Envious? L was envious of Lloyd? But I think Lloyd’s living a pretty tragic life, though…}

If L envied Lloyd because he had no one else to envy, then what kind of life had the author led so far? Ian then shook his head as he didn’t want to imagine such miserable circumstances.

{Not envious of Lloyd’s life but rather his personality. When we first see Lloyd, we feel sorry for his situation and feelings, but sometimes feel refreshed by his words and actions. I wonder if the author felt the same way. And at the same time, maybe he resented yet envied Lloyd because he couldn’t do the same thing as him.} Woo-Jin explained.

Ilya had never behaved like a spoiled child around Lansky.

Because of how much he revered Lansky, Ilya had never even dared to imagine acting that way, no matter how generous Lansky was to him.

Despite having gained fame as a novelist, Ilya still hated people. The inferiority complex he held because of the circumstances surrounding his birth played a big part in it as well.

He had a vague fear that the details surrounding his birth and his mother would be revealed to the world.

Ilya was not ashamed of being an orphan, and he had no qualms about the fact that he was educated with the support of the mafia.

He had always proudly revealed that he had survived and become a novelist thanks to the support of Lansky Consccia, but always remained silent about his mother.

The arrogant and nitpicky novelist was filled with all sorts of dark and gloomy emotions on the inside.

Lloyd, on the other hand, always acted without hesitation despite being a coward.

He wasn’t ashamed to honestly and openly express his desire to be loved; he returned malice with malice; and returned goodwill whenever he wanted, if he wanted.

Lloyd was Ilya’s hero, his representation, as well as the object of his jealousy.

{Maybe the people whom Lloyd killed had certain aspects of the author that he himself wanted to kill. If the self-portrait with the souls of his victims was what Lloyd wanted to become, maybe the painting was a part of the author which he wanted to throw away. That’s why he passed it onto Lloyd instead.}

Woo-Jin spoke and pointed at the painting hanging in Lloyd’s basement studio. Inside each strand of Lloyd’s hair—which fluttered like the feathers of a beautiful peacock—Ilya had buried the darkness of his original sin.

Lloyd was Ilya’s murderer, yet he was also his savior. Perhaps at the time of writing this, Ilya had accepted Lloyd for who he was, but it was only natural that Ilya resented Lloyd, a character whom he had created out of fear and jealousy.

{Do you happen to know L. Dmítri personally?}

Ian didn’t completely believe Woo-Jin’s theory, but his interpretation was quite plausible. Woo-Jin then waved his hands in response, denying Ian’s serious question.

{I don’t even know who it is. But after living as Lloyd for a few months, I started understanding some aspects of the story which I couldn’t back when I was reading it.}

They only had a few scenes left to film. Having lived as Lloyd for over three months, it was time that Woo-Jin started to understand Ilya’s intentions in the story ever so slightly. It was something he never understood before.

As he filmed one scene at a time, Woo-Jin’s understanding of Ilya deepened, and he judged that he had made a good choice to become Lloyd for this movie.

{Now, I have to hurry up and finish that painting too.}

The interior of the newly built house was being used as a movie set.

Woo-Jin and Ian were currently inside Lloyd’s underground studio, with Lloyd’s self-portrait hanging in front of them. The portrait had actually been painted by Woo-Jin himself for the movie shoot.

The director had noticed Woo-Jin’s excellent painting skills during the audition and suggested that the actor should draw the artworks personally when filming scenes where Lloyd painted. In fact, the director became even more enthusiastic about this idea when he learned that Woo-Jin was actually painting and doing calligraphy in the movie The Red.

Woo-Jin agreed to the idea, and started to draw all the important and meaningful paintings for the movie himself.

Woo-Jin had also started painting Lloyd’s self-portrait since the beginning, so the painter whom the production crew had hired to stand in for Woo-Jin was not needed.

Most of all, Woo-Jin’s painting had almost perfectly reproduced Lloyd’s style that was described in the novel. Furthermore, Woo-Jin’s painting speed was so fast that his artworks were prepared quicker than the paintings that were being arranged for the movie.

The scene where the portrait got completed was the final scene in the movie, so Woo-Jin was currently finishing up the painting.

Lloyd confesses his desires and wishes in front of the completed portrait, but in the end, nothing changed.

Despite wanting to have the same colors as other people, Lloyd was already dyed in his own color.

Although he had acknowledged the unchangeable reality beforehand, Lloyd didn’t given up until the very end.

He continued to face the portrait as the scene fades into darkness. Lloyd embraces both despair and hope, and stares at it until the very last frame. Despite being unable to see his face, he was most probably making the same expression as his portrait, the same expression as the souls he had imprisoned in his painting.

{Seriously, won’t you sell me that painting?} Ian asked.

{Seriously, you sure have unique tastes.} Woo-Jin replied.

Ever since Woo-Jin had painted over half of the portrait, Ian started begging for it. Even Woo-Jin thought the painting was extremely well drawn from an objective point of view.

However, the painting consisted of countless small Lloyds, or to be more precise, countless small Woo-Jins to form a single big portrait. And frankly speaking, it was quite grotesque.

{Unfortunately, Chairwoman Consccia already wants it. She says she wants to hang it in the lobby of their Foundation building.} Woo-Jin explained.

{Oh, aha. Indeed, it’s hard to win over the Consccia. But I really want it… Did she offer you a lot?}

Woo-Jin shook his head to the regretful Ian.

Ilya and Selena had visited the filming site two weeks ago, and they both gave good reviews about the painting. Ilya in particular turned to Woo-Jin after seeing the painting and chuckled a little. Lloyd’s painting style was actually the same as Lansky’s painting style, and Woo-Jin had expressed it perfectly.

Although he had wanted to become a painter, Lansky was unable to do so. However, he never gave up on the art itself. Whenever he had spare time, Lansky drew some paintings. And whenever he was finished, he burned them himself, so not a single one remained to this day.

But he often showed his artworks to Ilya before destroying them, so the latter knew Lansky’s painting style quite well. Woo-Jin had realized that Lloyd’s style which was described in the novel was exactly the same as Lansky’s, so he had expressed it as it is.

However, even Ilya—who looked alternately between the painting and Woo-Jin with a happy grin—left a comment saying ‘it’s the perfect painting to hang in your bedroom to have nightmares’. The novelist then shook his head, saying that he liked the painting but would never want to own it.

Instead, Selena took a keen interest in it since it was a prop and by-product of the very first film she had invested in. She too felt overwhelmed and didn’t want to add the painting to her private collection, but wanted to hang it in the Consccia Foundation building’s lobby instead.

Although it was a prop for the movie, Woo-Jin still owned the painting as he did not hand it over to the production team. So he was free to sell it if he wanted to, and Selena had given him an offer.

Woo-Jin had no reason to refuse hanging the painting made with Lansky’s style in the Consccia Foundation building. Establishing the Art and Cultural Foundation was Lansky’s dream during his lifetime, so it meant a lot to Woo-Jin as well.

{Even if I sell it, I plan to donate the profits so the actual amount doesn’t matter to me. But even if we call it Lloyd’s portrait, it’s still my face on the canvas. So I’m too embarrassed to sell it to an individual. But that doesn’t mean I can take it home either. Why don’t you choose something else? I’ll give it to you instead of the portrait.}

If Woo-Jin took the portrait home, his family’s reaction would be quite amusing. But he couldn’t lug that huge portrait home just to have a short moment of entertainment.

Woo-Jin’s explanation made some sense, so Ian eventually smacked his lips and gave up on the portrait.

{Or should I paint a portrait of you instead?} Woo-Jin suggested.

{Seriously?}

{I’ll have a lot of time after we’re done filming, so it shouldn’t be too difficult.}

Ian was delighted by his offer and asked Woo-Jin to paint him using the same style as Lloyd’s portrait.

But each time Ian excitedly made more requests regarding his facial expressions and the angles of his portrait, Woo-Jin’s smile gradually faded away.

People sometimes dug their own graves. By the time Woo-Jin realized his mistake, he had already crossed the point of no return.

In life, it was quite easy to become a pushover by your own hands.