[BL] A Marriage Ruled by Family, Saved by Desire-Chapter 61: The Moment Our Hearts Broke Open

~Alistair’s POV~

"I love this gift more than the others," I murmured, my voice thick with heat. "Come on, Daddy... come serve your husband."

Alex didn’t move. He simply looked at me, a soft, bittersweet smile touching his lips that made my heart falter for an entirely different reason.

"I’m going to serve you, babe," he said quietly. "I’ll give you everything you’re asking for. But first... we need to talk."

I felt a spark of frustration and pouted, reaching for his hand.

"No, baby. We can talk after. I’ve missed you... and I want you, Alex. Let’s make love first."

"No, babe," he murmured, his voice firm but infinitely tender. "This is more important than that."

He picked up a plush white towel and motioned for me to come closer. I crawled to the edge of the bed, suddenly feeling small under his eyes. He wrapped the towel gently around my waist, covering me before pulling an armchair closer.

Sitting down in front of me, he leaned forward slightly, our knees almost touching.

He took my hands in his, his thumbs brushing slowly over my knuckles. He stared into my eyes for a moment before speaking.

"You’re so beautiful, Alistair," he whispered, his gaze moving gently over my face until I felt heat rise to my cheeks.

"Seven years, and I still look at you and wonder how I got this lucky. Your heart, your spirit... I love every part of you."

My smile slowly faded as the mood in the room changed. The playful tension between us disappeared, replaced by a quiet seriousness.

"Why are you sounding like this, babe?" I asked quietly. "Is everything okay?"

Alex gave a small smile. "Everything is fine, love," he said gently. "I just want to appreciate you."

He paused for a moment before continuing, his voice lowering.

"We’ve been together for a long time," Alex said quietly. "But the situation with Sarah... that was the biggest challenge our marriage has ever faced. And it made me realize something that terrified me."

"What is it, baby?" I asked, looking into his eyes, already starting to worry as a nervous tremor ran through me. I didn’t like the way he was sounding.

He squeezed my hands softly.

"In the past, I always knew you loved me without a single doubt. I knew you couldn’t breathe without me beside you. I believed that if the whole world accused me of something, you would look to me first for the truth. You believed in me."

His voice grew quieter.

"But this time... you didn’t."

I looked down at our joined hands, unable to meet his eyes.

"Something in our foundation broken, Alis," he said quietly. "I don’t just want us to move past it. I want us to fix what we lost. I want to understand where things went wrong so we can make it right again."

He reached up and gently brushed a loose strand of hair behind my ear, his hand lingering for a moment near my ear.

"So I need you to be honest with me. No pretending. No hiding. When did you start doubting my love for you? When did you stop believing that what we have was enough?"

His voice softened.

"I’m ready to apologize for whatever I’ve done wrong. I just need to know where to begin."

I let out a long, shaky sigh. The silence between us stretched, heavy with everything that had been building between us. I looked at him for a long moment, the candlelight flickering in his expectant eyes, before I finally found my voice.

"You’ve been a good partner, Alex," I began, my voice soft and unsteady. "From the days when we were just boyfriends to the moment we said our vows... you’ve always been everything to me. You’re kind, gentle, a good listener, a provider, my protector, and so much more. You always put my happiness first and never wanted to see me sad. When we were abroad, things were easy. It was just the two of us."

My throat tightened.

"But then we came back."

A single tear slipped down my cheek.

"I know coming back home was partly my fault," I admitted quietly. "I was the one who wanted it. And because of that, most of the time I kept quiet... even when it hurt."

"Things started to change. At first it was small. Your mother would ’accidentally’ introduce you to a woman at dinner, or at family gatherings I’d notice the hesitation in your eyes before you introduced me as your husband."

I swallowed hard.

"I know. You always said it, Alex. You never denied me. But I still saw the hesitation. I saw you looking around the room first, like you were wondering if today would be the day someone said something."

I choked back a sob, my chest rising unevenly.

"It made me feel like you were ashamed of us. And then there’s the way you listen to your mother. You never say no to her, even when her words are tearing me down."

My voice trembled.

"I started to feel like I was second place in my own marriage."

Alex listened carefully. He let me speak, his eyes red, but he didn’t interrupt.

I looked up at him, my vision blurred by tears.

"I love you so much, Alex. You know that. I’m crazy about you... obsessed, even possessive."

My voice trembled.

"But all that insecurity started to build up. I can’t even point to the exact moment it began, but little by little it kept piling up. And one day the pile was so high I couldn’t see you clearly anymore."

I wiped my face with shaking hands.

"I spoke up, Alex. I told you I was drowning, but you never reached out to pull me up. You just kept telling me to wait and be patient."

I looked at him, my vision blurring as the dam finally broke. "You wouldn’t listen to my voice. You only listened to your mother. I started to realize that the only time you truly focused on me, the only time I felt like I had your full attention, was when we had sex. Especially when it was rough, when it was intense... that was the only time you seemed to hear me."

Tears began to track down Alex’s cheeks, but I couldn’t stop. The words were pouring out of me like a wound that had been festering for years.

"So I wanted to have sex with you every single night," I sobbed, my hands trembling as I gripped his knees. "I thought if I kept you exhausted, if I kept you satisfied, you’d finally listen to me. I did it even when I was tired. I did it when I didn’t want to, just to keep you close. I was terrified that if I didn’t, you’d finally realize I wasn’t enough and find someone else who was. I love you so much that the thought of losing you... It terrifies me."

I began tapping his legs, my movements frantic and desperate. "Why? Why wouldn’t you listen to me when it came to your family, especially your mother?"

Alex let out a choked, broken sound. "I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry."

I swallowed hard and forced myself to be honest.

"Sometimes... I’ll admit it, Alex. Sometimes the sex was too much for me. But I couldn’t say no. I was afraid that one day your mother would find a way to take you away from me."

My voice broke completely.

"So when the situation with Sarah happened... I didn’t think, Alex would never do this."

I let out a jagged, shaky breath.

"I thought... so this is it. The moment everything finally falls apart."

I collapsed forward, burying my face in my hands.

"I’m sorry," I sobbed. "I was stupid to believe you’d ever cheat on me. I’m sorry, Alex. I love you so much."

I lifted my head to look at him. "You’re all I’ve ever wanted. I just... I didn’t know how to be enough for you. Tell me how to be enough."

Alex reached out, his hand trembling as it covered his mouth. His eyes were wide with a kind of pain I had never seen before.

"I know I can’t give you an heir," I murmured, the insecurity I had carried for so long finally spilling out. "Maybe I’m completely useless to this family... just like your mother thinks."

My voice cracked.

"But I love you. I really do love you. I can do whatever you need. I can—"

"Stop, Alis. Stop, babe," Alex groaned, his voice thick with tears.

"I can do more. I can..." I cried. "I can find you a woman who can give you an heir." My voice broke. "Someone we both choose... someone we both agree on. I can—"

"Enough!" Alex cried, the word breaking from him like a sob.

He shot up from the armchair, his movements sudden and desperate. Reaching for me, he cupped my face in his hands, his thumbs hurriedly wiping away my tears before pressing his lips firmly against mine, silencing the cruel words I was saying.

"Enough, baby," he whispered against my mouth.

His forehead rested against mine as both of us trembled.

"I should be the one begging for forgiveness," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. "I’m so sorry for everything."

His grip on my face tightened slightly, as if he needed to make sure I heard him.

"You have always been more than enough," he said softly. "You were the only thing in my life that was ever truly right."

"Babe, look at me," Alex said quietly. "You have always been my first choice. You were never second place in this marriage."

He said. "Not to my mother. Not to anyone. The truth is...