[BL] I Didn't Sign Up For This-Chapter 81: In Which We’re Changed

Azryth moved.

He pulled me back against him so suddenly I gasped, his arms wrapping around me from behind, holding me like I was the only solid thing in existence, his face pressed against the side of my neck.

I felt it through the binding, the overwhelming relief, the desperate need to confirm I was real and here and his, the terror that had been building beneath his control throughout the entire crossing finally breaking free now that we were safe.

"Azryth?" I started to turn my head. "What’s..."

His hand came up to cup my jaw, turning my face toward him, and then his mouth was on mine.

Not gentle.

Not careful.

Desperate and claiming and absolutely certain, his lips moving against mine with an intensity that made my knees weak, one hand still at my jaw holding me at the angle he wanted, the other arm wrapped tight around my waist keeping me pressed against him.

I made a sound, surprise or want or both, and he deepened the kiss immediately, his tongue sliding against mine, tasting me like he’d been starving for it.

My brain tried to process, we were in a warehouse, Mara and Henrik were right there, we’d just escaped limbo, but Azryth was kissing me like the world was ending and all I could do was feel it.

His hand at my jaw tightened slightly, tilting my head more, and I stopped thinking entirely.

I turned in his arms, needed to face him properly, needed more contact, my arms came up to wrap around his shoulders and he made a sound low in his throat that I felt more than heard.

The kiss deepened further, his tongue exploring my mouth with thorough possession, one hand sliding into my hair and gripping, not painfully but firmly, holding me exactly where he wanted me.

I pressed closer, eliminating what little space remained, and through the binding I felt everything, his relief, his need, his absolute certainty that he had me and wasn’t letting go.

"What the HELL!" Mara’s voice cut through the haze. "Are you two seriously...we’re right here! Stop that immediately!"

Azryth broke the kiss with visible reluctance, both of us breathing hard, his forehead coming to rest against mine.

But he didn’t let go.

His arms tightened around me, pulling me fully against his chest, and he just held me, his face buried in my neck again, breathing like he’d been running.

I stood there, still trying to catch my breath, my hands gripping his shoulders for balance, feeling his heartbeat hammering against my chest.

"We made it back," he said against my skin, his voice rough. "We’re out."

"Yeah," I managed. "We’re out."

His arms tightened further, and I felt him shaking slightly, everything hitting at once now that we were back.

"Azryth," I said quietly. "I’m okay, we’re okay."

"I know." But he didn’t let go. "Just let me... I need a moment."

"Take all the time you need."

I could feel all he wasn’t saying, the weight of watching me face those trials, of being forced to confront his own past, of nearly losing me in limbo multiple times, of the permanent changes we’d both undergone.

All of it catching up now that we were safe.

Mara made a sound somewhere between exasperation and concern. "Okay, that’s enough, I need to check you both for damage and I can’t do that while you’re... whatever this is."

"This is necessary," Azryth said, still not letting go.

"This is inappropriate."

"Also that."

I felt his smile against my neck despite everything, and something in my chest settled.

We were okay.

We’d survived.

"Azryth," Mara’s voice was firmer now. "I need to scan Riven, you can hold him after I confirm he’s not dying."

That got through.

Azryth loosened his grip, reluctantly, and I felt his reluctance to let go mirroring my own.

Mara’s hands were on me immediately, checking me over with efficient precision, her expression focused and professional.

Then she reached my wrist, where the seal pulsed, and her face went white.

"Riven." Her voice was very quiet. "What happened to your seal?"

"What do you mean?"

"It’s..." She pressed her fingers against my wrist, feeling the energy there. "It’s weaker, significantly weaker, like someone tore a piece out."

I felt Azryth tense.

Henrik had moved to him, doing his own assessment, and I watched his expression shift from professional concern to something closer to shock.

"Your essence," Henrik said to Azryth. "It’s diminished."

"I know," Azryth said quietly.

Mara’s scan was getting more intense, more thorough, and I felt her checking every aspect of the seal, every layer of protection my mother had built.

"This isn’t temporary," she said, and there was something like horror creeping into her voice. "This is permanent damage, you’ve lost protection you can’t get back."

"I know," I said.

She looked up at me, and I saw anger starting to build beneath the shock. "Didn’t they just..study the binding like I said?" Her hands were shaking slightly. "What the hell did they actually DO to you?"

"There were trials," I said. "Three of them."

"Trials?" Her voice climbed. "What trials? I didn’t... that wasn’t part of the arrangement, they were supposed to study you and provide information, not put you through trials!"

Henrik’s expression had gone grim. "Azryth’s throne-right," he said quietly. "It’s gone, not weakened, gone, he can never reclaim full infernal power."

The warehouse was very quiet.

Mara was staring at me, at my wrist where the diminished seal pulsed, and I saw guilt joining the anger in her expression.

"I sent you in there," she said. "I told you it would be safe, that they just wanted to understand the binding, and they..." Her voice broke. "What did they make you do?"

"We passed," I said. "That’s what matters."

"That’s not what matters!" She grabbed my shoulders. "You’re permanently weakened, both of you, you sacrificed things you can never get back, and I sent you in there thinking.." She stopped, taking a breath. "Tell me everything, right now, what happened in there?"

Azryth’s hand found mine across the space. "We faced three trials," he said. "Origin, Sacrifice, and Choice, each one designed to test whether our bond was genuine enough to wield the power we possess."

"What power?" Henrik asked.

"The power to seal dimensional gates without destroying either realm," I said. "Apparently we’re the only thing in existence that can do it, the arbiter confirmed it."

Mara’s scan was still active on my wrist, and I felt her checking the binding itself now, not just the seal.

Her expression shifted again. "Your binding," she said slowly. "It’s different."

"Blood-sealed," Azryth confirmed. "Permanent and unbreakable, the price for passing through to the arbiter’s domain."

"You blood-sealed?" Mara’s voice was quiet now, almost stunned. "That’s... that’s forever, soul link, beyond death, beyond choice."

"We know."

"And the sacrifices?" Henrik was still examining Azryth. "What did the trial demand?"

"Part of my inheritance seal," I said. "Permanently weakening my natural defenses."

"And my throne-right," Azryth added. "Permanently limiting my potential power."

Mara let go of my wrist like it had burned her. "They made you give up irreplaceable parts of yourselves."

"We chose to," I corrected. "The trial gave us the option to refuse."

"And if you’d refused?"

"Permanent exile in limbo."

She made a sound like she’d been punched. "So it wasn’t actually a choice, it was coercion, sacrifice or be trapped forever."

"It was still a choice," Azryth said. "We could have refused the trials entirely, could have left and faced Veyrith without the arbiter’s knowledge."

"And died," Mara said flatly.

"Probably."

She was shaking now, really shaking, and I realized she was furious, not at us but at herself, at the situation, at the arbiters who’d demanded more than she’d promised.

"I’m sorry," she said finally. "I didn’t know, I swear I didn’t know they’d do this, my contact said they wanted to study you, to understand the binding, nothing about trials or sacrifices or..." She stopped. "I’m so sorry."

"It’s not your fault," I said.

"It is, I sent you in there, I told you it would be okay, and now you’re both permanently changed because I didn’t know what they’d actually do."

Henrik had finished his assessment of Azryth and moved to stand beside Mara. "But they got what they needed," he said quietly. "The knowledge and information we need."

"At what cost?" Mara’s voice was still shaking. "They’re weaker now, more vulnerable, if something happens during the fight with Veyrith..."

"Then we adapt," Azryth interrupted. "We’re diminished individually but stronger together, the binding compensated for what we lost."

Mara looked between us, at our joined hands, at the way we were standing close enough that our shoulders touched.

"...The binding is stronger," she said, still processing. "Much stronger, it’s taken the space where your full powers used to be and filled it with connection."

"So they’re a unit now," Henrik observed. "Truly a unit, weaker apart but together..."

"Together we’re what we need to be," I finished.

Mara closed her eyes. "I’m still sorry, you shouldn’t have had to make those sacrifices."

"Maybe not," Azryth said. "But we did, and we survived, and we have what we need to stop Veyrith, that’s what matters."

She opened her eyes and looked at him. "..You gave up your throne."

"I did."

"Everything you’ve been fighting for, five hundred years in that amulet, all of it to reclaim what Veyrith stole, and you just... gave it up."

"Not for just anything," Azryth’s hand tightened on mine. "For him, for us, for a bond that matters more than power ever could."

Something shifted in Mara’s expression then, the anger and guilt making room for something else, something that might have been understanding.

"You really did it," she said quietly. "You proved it, that your bond is genuine, that what you have is worth more than individual power."

"Yeah."

She looked at me. "And you’re okay with this? With being permanently more vulnerable?"

"No," I said honestly. "I’m terrified, but I’m also sure, sure that choosing this was right, sure that what we have is worth what we gave up."

Mara studied me for a long moment, then nodded slowly. "Okay, okay, we work with what we have, you’re both changed but you’re both alive, and you have the information we need."

"We do," I confirmed. "Forty-nine rifts in seven clusters, a central nexus heart in Veyrith’s throne room, and a key to get us there."

"Then let’s get out of this warehouse," Mara said, some of her normal efficiency returning. "We have planning to do, and you both need rest before we attempt anything else."

We followed her toward the exit, Azryth’s arm around my shoulders, my hand at his waist.

The warehouse door opened onto pre-dawn light, and I breathed in real air, mortal realm air.