(BL) Taming the Field Guide-Chapter 131: Rhys is never going to forget what he did

Kellen wanted to shake the damn man. Rhys had been doing okay. He’d been making Kellen feel better, and then he went and opened his damn mouth.

Then again, Rhys had been opening his damn mouth this whole time and shoving his foot down his throat for a while. Pretty much this whole conversation before pulling it out and putting it back down there.

Kellen let out a deep sigh.

He wanted to be mad with him. He wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake him, but at the same time? He wanted to be exactly where he was. In Rhys’ lap, seeking comfort and protection. It should have been strange for Kellen that he had spent so many years avoiding this kind of touch that now that he had it, he should have been awkward or adverse to it.

It didn’t really cross his mind in the moment. Even when Rhys was the one making him upset. Instead, Kellen leaned into Rhys’ touch, pressing his face against Rhys’ shoulder so that he didn’t have to look at Rhys’ dumb face, but Kellen could still find comfort in the other man.

"You’re an idiot." Kellen muttered and felt Rhys flinch.

"What? I mean, yes, of course." Rhys corrected himself immediately, clearly shocked by Kellen’s words, but not denying them either.

"I love you, but you’re a damn idiot." Kellen whispered. "Why would you consider keeping this from me? Didn’t you consider how I’d be upset? Or angry?" Kellen asked. "What if I had decided that I wanted to break up because this was such a big thing to keep from me?" Rhys went still.

Kellen could actually feel how his body didn’t just go still, it was like the man froze. Kellen worried that he’d stopped breathing, that he might have frozen himself out of fear of Kellen’s words.

Then the man’s grip on him tightened, almost bruising Kellen, before he let out a shaky, unstable breath.

"No." Rhys said and Kellen felt a small shiver of something run down his spine. It wasn’t quite fear, Kellen wouldn’t ever really fear Rhys, but it was certainly not a normal reaction. "You’re mine." Rhys’ voice was devoid of the ability for Kellen to argue with him, not that Kellen would.

Kellen, sensing the shift, squeezed Rhys’ shoulder and back that was under Kellen’s hand. It had been a while since Kellen had felt the crazies from Rhys, and disturbingly, Kellen realised that maybe it was because he was dealing with his own S Class craziness. Kellen pushed that to the side. Now wasn’t the time to focus on himself since Rhys was on the edge right now.

"Rhys, I’m not saying that I would, I’m just asking if you considered that." Kellen said carefully. Rhys let out a slow, measured breath. 𝗳𝐫𝚎𝗲𝚠𝚎𝗯𝕟𝐨𝘃𝚎𝗹.𝗰𝗼𝗺

"Sorry. I just...I saw red. I immediately felt myself going back to where we were only months ago. What I would have done if you had suddenly broken everything off after I just got a taste of you. What I was thinking I would do to prevent that." Rhys said carefully. He let out another breath, his arms shaking slightly as he held him. "I didn’t want to consider it." Rhys muttered. "I knew that this could blow up in my face. Everyone was warning me. I just...I didn’t consider how Jax and Jules would trigger your anger. Or your jealousy. It’s been a while since I’ve seen them. I forgot how they treated others. How they are perceived by others." Rhys sounded like he was panicking a bit.

It was bad that Kellen kind of liked hearing him speak that way. To Kellen it felt like he could feel Rhys’ care and consideration for him, even if it was delayed. That was probably a bad way to view it, but that was how Kellen was seeing it.

"They’re weird." Kellen said and Rhys choked before a weird-sounding laugh left his lips.

"That’s...a rather childish way to put it, but yeah. They are weird. Jules kind of lets Jax do whatever he wants, while Jax just does everything that Jules asks of him." Rhys let out a sharp exhale. "I only was able to get Jax’s respect by subduing him completely. I beat his ass in more than one fight, over only one week. He needed me to beat his ass 10 times before he would stop his damn nonsense and listen to me. I did not play fairly. He kept destroying the D.E.C. facility that we were all being kept in. The man was insane, and it was crazy that it took that long for him to listen to anyone." Rhys said, shaking his head.

"He’s an S Class Esper and you said already that he wasn’t quite right, that he’s crazy, Rhys. I wouldn’t expect him to play by normal rules." Kellen, even as he was still a little pissed that Rhys had let him get away with how he touched him when Kellen was around and calling him a nickname, did still have a little bit of wiggle room for an Esper on the edge. Kellen muttered more to himself then to anyone else. "That still doesn’t mean that I like him calling you Rhysie. What the hell is that?" Kellen muttered and Rhys froze.

Then, he carefully pulled Kellen’s head back, staring down at the other man with a look that had Kellen flushing slightly.

"Oh Kellen. I’m sorry. I’ll do my best to talk some sense into him. I’m sure Jules will be able to help too." Kellen frowned.

"I’m including Jules’ behaviour in this too. I didn’t like it either. Also, what do I call Jules? Are they a man? Woman? Do they care?" Kellen asked and Rhys frowned.

"They...don’t. They don’t really like having a gender." Rhys told Kellen carefully, and Kellen was glad that at the very least, one thing was made very clear to him. Jules didn’t like having a gender. Perfect. That meant Kellen wouldn’t give them one.

"Okay. Good. I was confused about that, so that’s good to know. If they step out of line, now I know not to call them him or her." Kellen said and Rhys closed his eyes, shaking his head slowly for a moment.

"Understood." Rhys just muttered quietly. "Um...retesting. Do you...?"

"I would be careful about bringing that up right now." Kellen told him and Rhys flinched, then nodded.

"Of course. Yup. You have every right to say that." Rhys agreed immediately at Kellen’s short, quick response. He clearly thought that Kellen would easily go along with what Rhys wanted, especially after they’d had a moment together. But Kellen was still angry at the man, still pissed, and wasn’t fully ready to do anything outside of being cuddled by Rhys until he felt better.

He was grappling with the idea that he was becoming an S Class Guide. That he had become an S Class Guide. He had been excited when he found out that he was an A Class Guide because it had honestly felt like something he had been owed. Something he had been denied when he had first awakened as a Guide. It had been easy for him to wrap his head around it.

It had been easy for everyone around him who knew him well to wrap their head around the fact that he had become an A Class guide. This? This felt harder, and it was honestly pretty mean of Rhys to deny him the time to sit with it as long as everyone else had.

He’d felt crazy and insane for his reactions, but if it was because his body had been changing and he had been turning into an S Class...he could have given himself a bit more grace. He also could have done things differently.

Kellen let out a heavy sigh before slowly beginning to get out of Rhys’ lap. The man hesitated in letting Kellen go, his hands locking on Kellen’s body before he released him. He held his hands back and away from his body, his expression twisted with pain as he watched Kellen slowly put his feet down, checking as he put weight on them and then stood. Kellen kept his back to Rhys as he slowly got to his feet, scanning the room around them for a second before he stood fully.

Then, he slowly turned, facing Rhys as he stood on his own two feet and Rhys remained seated. Kellen could feel how Rhys wanted to rise as well, stand on his own and Rhys reached out, pressing the man back down into his seat.

Rhys swallowed, but remained seated as Kellen stared at him, scanning his face for a long, long moment.

"It’s going to take a while for me to fully forgive you for what you’ve done." Kellen admitted quietly. Rhys jerked as if he had been slapped. His throat worked as he swallowed, opened his mouth, and then closed it again. It was clear that he had a lot he wanted to say, but he remained silent as Kellen stared at him. "You knew that what you were doing was wrong, Rhys. You knew it. You also knew that I was going to find out and continued to do it." Rhys flinched. "While I understand that Jax and Jules are a completely different case, and I’ll judge them separately from who I am feeling right now, you are the one who could have warned me about all of this before they arrived. Especially if you knew that they were coming." Rhys looked ill the more that Kellen spoke.

"I’m sorry." Rhys sounded hollow and Kellen let out a soft sigh, shaking his head.

"While I am upset that you kept this from me and denied me the time to process what was going on, or even give me the option to think about this and even consider if I wanted to go get tested at the Center, this does not mean that I want to break up or separate from you. It just makes me...sad. Really sad, Rhys. I hope that you didn’t do this in retaliation for me not letting you come with me into the gate." Rhys’ expression dropped and he looked truly horrified.

As Kellen scanned his expression, he realised that Rhys had never, ever considered this as payback for what Kellen had done, and Kellen felt his shoulders relax. Thank goodness. That wasn’t something that he had considered, even in the back of his mind.

Rhys’ hand slid to Kellen’s thigh, sliding up to Kellen’s hip to give it a squeeze.

"Never. Not ever. I would never even consider trying to get back at you for your choices. We’ve already talked about it and there is nothing to forgive and nothing for me to get back at you for. I’m sorry you even considered that I would do that to you." Rhys sounded like a broken man. A man shattered and Kellen gave him a small, tiny smile.

"It’s not exactly fair for me to consider that, either. But, if you had even hinted that you thought something had changed with my Class, I might not be having all of these crazy thoughts on my own, Rhys." Kellen scolded and Rhys nodded. His hand on Kellen’s hip tugged, pulling Kellen closer. It felt like the man couldn’t stop touching him.

"I’m sorry." Rhys whispered. "I’m so sorry Kellen. Take your time, take all the time. Just...please don’t leave me." Rhys whispered. Kellen would never.

"I’m just sad you didn’t feel like you could trust me with information about myself." Kellen admitted and Rhys shook his head. His yellow gaze was lost, wandering, and Kellen bent, pressing their foreheads together. Rhys was remorseful enough that Kellen knew he wouldn’t be mad at him for long. As long as he kept this kind of fear and remorse up.

Kellen just...needed to sit with himself and figure out how he felt about being an S Class Guide alone. He wasn’t sure how Rhys was going to take that, especially as he was injured like this.