(BL) Taming the Field Guide-Chapter 22: Not everything is good news

Kellen’s eye and hand weren’t making any progress. That was what Carlos told him without flinching and what Taylor looked hesitant to say out loud. Kellen could tell. It was in the actions of everyone assisting him and monitoring him. It was upsetting, but not because Kellen wasn’t getting better.

Kellen’s fate was tied to the fate of those who were still unconscious from the gate.

He knew that Rhys was upset that Kellen wasn’t able to use his hand and that he might lose his eye. Kellen was more upset that those he had made sure to save might not actually be saved in the slightest.

When he heard the news during his appointment with Taylor the day after he’d nearly scared Rhys to death, the only effect it had was to solidify his case of asking Charlie to guide Rhys. Especially after Rhys had given his consent last night. It had taken a while for him to actually consent to it, not just to say it to appease Kellen. Kellen had gotten his official consent, as long as Charlie also agreed.

It came with risks, and Kellen didn’t want to minimize them. While he was fine, he didn’t want to hurt Charlie in the process. Though, he had a feeling that he was more resilient than anyone here gave him credit for. He wouldn’t have survived as long as he had otherwise.

So, Kellen finished up his meeting with Taylor and Carlos in better spirits than he thought they thought was reasonable. At least, Taylor thought it was reasonable. Taylor thought he should be shocked, terrified. Sad even. Kellen however was viewing these injuries as the last cost of his precognitive abilities. The last little price he had to pay. If they never healed, he would take it.

They had saved his life over and over and over. This was the least of his worries.

He had a meeting with Charlie in the coffee shop upstairs scheduled for after this, and he planned to stop by and say hello to everyone whose fate was tied to his.

Taylor was keeping an eye on him in the best way that she could. She didn’t have a lot of free time, and it wasn’t like Kellen spoke about himself all that often either. The fact that he had come to her with a complaint in the first place had been a strange thing for him to do anyways. The reason behind it was even stranger.

Taylor was clearly worried about her friend. Kellen appreciated it, but she felt more like his parents then his parents should have felt.

That thought made Kellen feel guilty. His parents were actually very busy. They had stepped in to help out since Gunther was gone and Sergei was ’out of commission’. He was doing his best, but the load that the other Guild’s had to carry on their shoulders because he simply wasn’t able to do everything that he could before, was a lot. So, Kellen’s Mom had also stepped in to help out.

That meant that they had less time to dedicate to their injured son and unconscious daughter. Kellen knew that they were probably already feeling guilty about it, so he didn’t want to make them feel more guilty. He was sure that the way that they reacted to the gate and the explosion after was going to haunt them. Kellen didn’t want to add more to their burdens.

Kellen stopped by the people he didn’t know as well first, speaking to them and letting them know the current state of the Guild, the research, and anything else interesting that he knew. It wasn’t a lot, but he wanted them to know if they were conscious in any way that they were not forgotten and that others were working hard. Kellen had the distinct pleasure of being the conscious test subject so he probably had more information than the rest who visited them.

Kellen had only run into a few people while visiting the injured. It warmed his heart to know that others were doing rounds.

When Kellen knocked on the door to Gwen and Bree’s room and heard nothing in response, his chest squeezed. He pushed open the door and stared at the two beds with their precious cargo.

Bree was lying in the bed to the left when you entered the room. Her feet were facing the middle of the room, the same way that Gwen’s feet were doing the same but on the opposite side. The reason they weren’t next to each other was because of the machines that they were hooked up to took up so much room.

Every room with the members of the Saturn Guild who had been sucked into the gate were set up like this. Two to a room if they could because they only had so many rooms and then they were hooked up to all of these machines. It was above Kellen’s paygrade to know what the machines did, and he was a little envious of that fact.

He liked knowing how things worked, why they did what they did, but that would be considered work so he wasn’t allowed to poke around, nor ask questions right now. They had more important things to worry about than Kellen’s curiousity.

Kellen moved to Bree’s bedside first, staring down at the pallid face of a woman who had helped him carry the team out. Bree deserved so much more than what she had gotten. She had been so scared when she realised what being selected as a support Field Guide had really meant. It was no fault of her own.

Kellen, everyone, had failed to explain the true risks to her until after she had been selected. It was a slip up on his part, something that gutted him now that he was thinking about it. He had always thought that the Guides who had come on trips had been poorly trained, had always cursed the ones who had come with government jobs as lazy and not caring about the safety of the people they were supposed to guide and take care of.

After listening to Bree, maybe Kellen had gotten it all wrong? Knowing now that Uncle Tom was...bad across many levels, that could have also trickled down to how the Guides were treated as well. Maybe he or someone he had hired had intentionally left the job postings vague since most Field Guides didn’t actually stay in town when they had time off. At least, when they were in town they weren’t looking for more work.

It would be the cushy Guides who had no idea what the front lines were like that would be looking at the D.E.C. job postings and seeing the money tied to said postings, and if they were desperate enough, or if they thought it would be an honourable thing to do, they would apply. Kellen had been a fool to not even consider that training or care wasn’t the issue.

The issue was that the company, the government had failed the Guides from the get go.

Kellen stared down at Bree, the girl who had been brave enough to apply, and then brave enough to pull out when she had reached her limits, and cursed softly. She hadn’t been able to escape her fate in the end, but Kellen had made sure that she got out. Whether that meant she ever woke up again was a completely different story.

Kellen moved away from Bree’s side towards his sister. The gap under her blankets where her leg used to be still made Kellen emotional. He doubted that even after she woke up he would be okay. He knew he had to do it to save her, he had done the right thing, but there was always going to be those ’what if’ thoughts that plagued him. Especially right now, so close to everything.

Kellen stared down at his sister, her face peaceful even if it was a few shades too light for his comfort and sighed.

"Well ladies, my injuries aren’t getting better, so you two are going to be like this for a little while longer." Kellen told them. They didn’t respond, of course. "I know that this is devastating news to both of you, I do, but I hope you’ll forgive me once more for being the only one awake for a little while longer. Taylor is working herself to the bone to try and find a solution, and so is Carlos. I don’t think either of you had met Carlos before now, but when you do, don’t be too upset with the way he talks. He’s had a rough life prior to this." Kellen told them. He knew he was rambling a bit, but he felt that was okay.

"Nothing crazy has happened so far. I know I told you that the gate had finally been cleared and any remains that they could get out still were taken out. It means that those that separated off did pass. I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to save them." Kellen said sincerely, glancing more towards Bree than Gwen. "Oh! Gwen, you’ll be happy to hear this, the calendar is done. Rhys is upset because Pamela selected the final shots without him. I have a feeling it was because he would have vetoed any shot with me in it." Kellen chuckled, smiling slightly. "Gwen, Rhys said that your photos turned out great." Kellen chuckled, then glanced over at Bree. "Sorry you weren’t in it, Bree. Only new recruits."

Kellen stood there silently, listening to the machines beep and whirl before the smile he had on his face faded.

"I’m sorry that we haven’t found anything yet to fix this. We’ll have you two awake in no time, but until then, don’t give up, alright? Everyone is worried about you and doing their absolute best. Stay strong." Kellen told them before he had to leave. He couldn’t stay any longer without getting too emotional and crying. They didn’t need that.

It wasn’t their fault that Kellen’s emotions were all over the place.

Kellen left the room, doing his best to keep his face composed as he left. The hallways were busy as he left, lots of the Medical team running around. Kellen did his best to have his brave face on as he passed everyone. Smiling, being the perfect Guide, until he got to the elevator.

He wasn’t even upset that he was injured. He was just upset to see how still the vibrant people in his life were. It was hard to watch, and hard to not have any solid answers. He knew it was the poison that had done this to them. He knew that, but it didn’t make it any easier.

He needed to see them, needed to talk to them, but it always hurt him like this when he had to leave. Seeing his sister still? Bree silent? It was hard. He needed to keep his hopes up. Things would get better. There was no other option.

He had to put his game face on. Charlie was expecting him to have some answers to what he’d asked of Kellen a few days ago. Maybe ’answers’ wasn’t the right word. He was looking for Kellen to have some solutions to the problems he was having, the things he was feeling.

Kellen couldn’t be depressed about his sister’s situation while trying to help someone who was basically his younger brother. They didn’t all need to be depressed together. Charlie would be a light for him. Charlie pretty much always was.

Kellen would get a nice little latte or something and look towards the future. If Charlie agreed, there was a chance that Gwen, Bree and everyone else would be one step closer to being awake. Rhys might be able to see something. He might even be able to see Gunther. This was a good thing. Turn that frown upside down Kellen. You’ve got to think positively right now.

Everyone else was making it far too easy to be depressed.