Bye, My Ruthless Alpha-Chapter 17: Craving Vs Appetite

Tori’s POV

After the night I spent with Cayden, I had expected to see him again, but I didn’t.

He never once came to visit. There was no compassion, no concern, and no want or desire from him.

I was nothing more than a task—a tool he needed.

I had no clue how I was gonna get through all that waiting around. Kas, figuring I might be going stir-crazy, showed up with some paint, and we set about fixing up the nursery.

"I’m thinking of painting this nursery a baby blue," I said. I knew I’d never get to raise the kid and see it grow, but I wanted to do something for it all the same.

Just the thought of never laying eyes on the baby again after it was born made my eyes sting. Kas asked if I was okay, and I just said I was good. So we got to work with that paint, and Kas told me it was the kind that was safe for expectant moms to use.

I really appreciated her looking out for me like that.

After we got the room all done up, Kas and the others were tied up with other stuff for a few days. But, you know, I eventually found some little things to keep myself occupied.

Art had become a big one, and when Kas realized I loved to dance, she made sure I had everything set up in my own private art studio .

Days turned into weeks, and, before I knew it, I began to lose track of time.

The vast green fields around the Black Shadow pack were beautiful. The peaceful village could be seen from the pack house, and the golden sunshine made everything seem upbeat and hopeful.

I loved dancing in the sunny and empty room the most—it reminded me of his clear blue eyes.

A soft knocking at the door to the dance room had me turning my head to see who was there. To my surprise, Ava stood in the doorway, smiling at me.

“Hello, Ava...” I stopped dancing, turned off the music, and walked toward her with a smile. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes. I was just wondering if you would like to take a trip with me to the clinic.”

For a moment I was confused as to why I would need to go, and then the realization hit me. I nodded. “Of course. Is Jace coming?”

“He is going to meet us there. He needs to take care of something first and asked me to come get you and start.”

Ava was as kind as always, but I was a bit scared.

What would happen if I wasn’t pregnant?

My hand instinctively went to my stomach. Please... Goddess, let me be carrying his child. Not just because of the thought of what Cayden would do if I wasn’t, but also because, deep down, a part of me wanted to be...

I didn’t know when it had started, the idea that a small little life was growing within me filled my heart with happiness.

To Cayden, to the pack, I was fulfilling my duty; but as the days went by, it felt less and less like a job for me.

I wanted to be pregnant!

I wanted to carry his child—my child.

Moving from my seat, I joined Ava, and we headed down the hall towards the pack clinic.

As we stepped through the clinic doors, my eyes stayed cast to the floor. The soft click of a knob, and Ava was ushering me into an empty patient room. The white paper of the exam table felt uncomfortable against my legs. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but when she pulled out a needle, my eyes widened.

“We have to do a blood test, sweetie. It’s more effective than a normal pregnancy test.”

She must have seen the concern in my eyes by her response, and when she explained, I relaxed a little and allowed her to do what she needed to do. I was only a short while away from finding out if a life was growing within me. Deep breathing!

Please be positive, please be positive!

As Ava withdrew the needle and filled a small tube with the blood she collected, I sat back with a small smile, thinking about what the next few months would entail with me being pregnant. How I would feel the small child growing within me—every little kick and movement.

A short, blonde-haired woman knocked on the door, pulling me from my thoughts. I watched as Ava handed her the sample and then she quietly left.

The worry over the results made me more unsure than anything. I couldn’t stop going over scenarios in my mind as to what would happen if I wasn’t pregnant, and what would happen if I was.

Stop being so negative, Tori, I thought. Everything was going to be okay.

“So, Tori,” Ava finally said, turning to face me with a smile. “How have you been feeling?”

“I’m okay, I guess.” My response came out softer and flatter than I had meant it to, and she seemed to notice. “Just trying to keep busy.”

“What’s wrong? Are you not feeling well...?”

I shook my head. “No, it isn’t that.”

“Well, what’s wrong?” she asked again. “I am your doctor, and if something’s wrong, I need to know.”

I hesitated, scared and unsure. I didn’t want to cause trouble by complaining.

“I just..” I paused for a moment. “I miss going outside... to the mall.”

As soon as I spoke, the door opened, and Jace walked in. Had he heard what I said? I didn’t want to be a burden by complaining, and I didn’t want Cayden to get angry because of it.

“You haven’t been outside?” Ava asked confusedly before turning to Jace. “Why hasn’t she been outside?”

Jace was silent for a moment, looking between the two of us. “The Alpha doesn’t want her to leave the house. He wants her close. I’m just following orders.”

“She has to get fresh air and sun. It’s important for her health.”

I heard the disapproval in Ava’s voice, and I clenched my fists nervously. I hadn’t meant for this to be a big deal, and now I was filled with regret for bringing it up.

Jace sighed, nodding his head. “I will let the Alpha know.”

I quickly sputtered, “I don’t want to bother him. It’s okay. I will just open the windows like I usually do.”

I didn’t want Cayden to find out that I was complaining—to give him a reason to be upset with me.

“No, Tori,” Ava said. “You need to go outside and get some fresh air every day.”

“Please, it’s okay. Please don’t say anything to him,” I stammered out again. I was pleading with her to let the matter go.

Having Cayden be upset at me because I disagreed with his orders was not something I wanted to experience.

“Very well...”

There was a knock at the door. The blonde-haired woman came in and handed Ava a piece of paper before exiting again.

All three of us went silent. I never knew that my heart could flutter the way it did in that moment.

I watched as Ava looked over the paper. Her brow furrowed, and she sighed before looking up at me. I knew without words what the results were—

“So, no pregnancy yet.”

Ava was officially informing Jace.

Instantly, a part of me ached for the loss of something I never held. I didn’t know whether I was more disappointed at the situation or at myself. I felt like a failure. I didn’t conceive...was there something wrong with me? What if I couldn’t have kids at all?

The thought filled me with fear. What was going to happen? Would the Alpha ever look at me again...? He had already given me a second chance. What would happen to me... and my pack?

The thoughts swirled around me, making me dizzy. I couldn’t control the panic that flooded me, and as it did, my breathing became heavier, and I became more lightheaded.

My hands instinctively reached out to grab the table beneath me as the tears pricked my eyes.

Ava noticed my reaction and rushed over immediately. “Tori, it’s okay. Deep breaths... In through your nose, and out through your mouth...”

“Miss Tori?” Jace asked in a concerned voice, stepping closer. Ava ignored him, not taking her eyes off me.

As the tears began to flow down my cheeks, I was completely ashamed of myself. I hadn’t been able to do the one thing I was bought to do. I tried everything I could, and I thought I was ready, but I didn’t give him the child he wanted. freёwebnoѵel.com

I had imagined being a mother. I had grown to like the idea of giving life to a child. And now it was gone.

“Tori, sweetie...” Ava softly wrapped her arms around me. “It’s okay... It will happen when it’s meant to.”

Once I started to calm down slowly, Jace spoke. “What do we do next, Ava?”

“Well, it may take a few times, but we should be able to analyze when her fertility is highest and pinpoint when the best time is for her to conceive.”

Ava sounded confident in her statement, but it didn’t make me feel better.

My eyes widened. A few times...did I hear her wrong? Did she mean...?

She pulled back, smiling at me, grabbing a paper cup and filling it with water before handing it to me. “We will get her set up, and she and Cayden will have to try again.”

I would sleep with him again.

This 𝓬ontent is taken from f(r)eeweb(n)ovel.𝒄𝒐𝙢