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Classless Ascension-Chapter 258: Intro Course, Lots of Fun!
****(POV Trainees)
Inside the Alter Tower, the 'fun' kept going as the trainees faced more of the incredibly perverse challenges.
[Welcome to Floor 420! Mission: Survive the office for a month!]
"Office work? Are you kidding me?! This is going to be a piece of cake!"
"Why are there monkeys everywhere….Also, what's with these asshole bosses?"
"The goal is to type. I can do that easily. Is this an evolving mission? Perhaps there will be monsters spawning soon?"
"How long have I been typing? An hour maybe? Why do my fingers and my wrist hurt? Wait…am I bleeding?! I really need to take a break!" After stopping for a second, that Climber heard a monkey scream: 'You're fired!', then he had failed.
"Tik. Tok. Tik. Tok. Goddammit! Screw that clock!" The Climber couldn't support the intrusive noise and flipped his whole desk upside down, the typewriting machine utterly getting destroyed in the process. Then, he got fired.
A more resistant Climber could be seen looking like a zombie. "I just want to rest…zzz…cannot fall asleep! What inhumane treatment is this?! No one can function with 1 hour of sleep every 11 hours. It's just impossible…zzzz" He got fired too.
There was even one that just couldn't stand the whole bosses requesting them to waste their time. "Bitch monkey, I'm gonna skin you! I'm gonna take your head, unscrew it from your neck and shove it up your ass. Then I'll…" — Fired!
One after the other, they all failed. The one that managed to resist the longest did so for one week before reaching his limits. All the ones that had believed this would be easy were despairing. They would have preferred bloodthirsty OP monsters over this!
[Welcome to Floor 2! Mission: find a shelter.]
"What kind of shelter am I supposed to be looking for? Another building like this white brick one but intact instead, maybe? Could be…"
"This place is so hot! Also, why are there two suns above this desert? Guess for now I can only explore."
"It seems pretty peaceful so far as there is only endless sand. Weirdly enough, there are no monsters either, and…." That's when something jumped out of a nearby dune, devouring that Climber before he could even react.
"What is that in the distance? Oh my god! Is that a giant worm? What is it with that level?!" <Small Worm Lv 49> "There is no way that I'm fighting that!" that Climber hid until dehydration set in and then pitifully died.
"I was right to proceed with caution. No need to fight when you can sneak! I just had to find that one tunnel leading downward. Now, in front is a cave. This should be the shelter I'm looking for and — oh god, is that a worm?!" DEAD….
All across the realm, Climbers were getting frightened by monsters that were way too high level for them. Why was it that most creatures were thrice their level?! Even the ones that tried to avoid fighting stumbled and died eventually.
[Welcome to Floor 3! Mission: save face for the Heroic-Paws Village!]
"Save face? What does that even mean? Ah, it must be to get the bone back. This should be relatively easy."
"After asking around, there are two destinations of interest nearby. There is the Savage Land and also the Hard-Paws village. Where should I begin?"
"Hehe, this Hard-Paws village is going to be an easy target. They are only a few levels above me. As long as I kite them properly, everything will be fine. Take this: fireball! Wait, why are they all coming at once?! They're smart NPCs?! Fuck!!"— Gangbanged to death.
"I'm sure this Savage Land is the key to clearing this Floor. Wait, is that a message on the wall? 130 Reasons Why Master Is Awesome?! What's that?! Wait, there's a description of Teacher?! I'll just copy what he did then!" — Killed by a Scaly Devil.
"Oh my god. This list is so damn cheesy! It sounds so over the top too. I wonder who's the dumbass that wrote this shit! Hahaha…" — Killed by a certain Dog Girl.
"Fighting isn't the answer! I'll negotiate with the Hard-Paws and get our bone back. I can do this! I just need to tell them I made a mistake and want it back." No, he couldn't. —Became the laughingstock of the clans.
In their own way, they all concluded that this mission wasn't as easy as it sounded. There were only a few that did manage to complete that Floor. They all used a similar strategy.
"Hehe, I knew that sneaking in their village and getting the bone back was the answer. No need for any of the bullshit!"
In the subsequent event, the friendly NPC Old Bernard managed to hold his own and stand straight. The few who managed to clear it happily were ushered to part two of this challenge, Floor 4.
[Welcome to Floor 4! Congratulation on clearing Floor 3! Mission: Save the dog clans from extinction.]
"Wait, what? Extinction?! Guess I have to figure out what danger they are facing first."
"Okay, so apparently, we have to fight monkeys that outnumber us. How hard can that be? If they outnumber us, then they probably are lower level. As long as I assassinate their leaders, everything will work out!"
"What the fuck is this?! They're all at least five levels above our guys, plus they have super deadly giant worms?! There is no way that clearing this is possible! This is bullshit!"— All dogs died.
[Welcome to Floor 5! Mission: Clear the Enlightened Monkey's trial-Part 2!]
"Part 2? I didn't clear part 1 yet. Ah, whatever. I guess I just need to follow this hallway, right? Oh, there is an intersection. Let's pick one randomly. Wait, didn't I already walk here? I'm lost…I'm so damn lost. What the fuck is this trial?!"— Failed for taking too long.
"This new challenge is a maze., Wow, I wasn't expecting this at all. Alright, let's have some fun. Slow and steady wins the race. I'm just going to hug the right wall!"
"So this is the Enlightened Monkey? I have passed your challenge. What is my reward? Wait…that long-ass maze wasn't the challenge? Then, what is? Alright, I'll find the bananas!"
"Oh, there's one! Let's just pick it up real quick and—" After touching it that Climber's eyes became dull as he fell to the ground unconscious— Failed.
"Okay, this banana gives me a bad feeling for some reason. I won't touch it directly. Let's pick it up with a cloth. Yep, that's good. Now, time to find the others!"— Didn't find the others.
"You damn monkey! I've been looking for an hour already, and there are no bananas here at all! Was it fun tricking me?! I'll beat you up!!!… Wait, level 60 and a Boss?! What is this?!"— Punched to death.
One after the others, the Climbers were exiting the Alter Tower. Not a single one had succeeded.
Many could be seen shaking aghast, remembering the horrors that had happened in there. Others were less traumatized, but they still couldn't wrap their heads around how to clear this Tower. They felt like complete failures.
It didn't help that Josh was there to welcome them. "So, how was it? Fun, am I right?! This should be a good intro course!" He radiantly smiled at them.
They blanked. This was fun?! Also, if this was the intro course…what would the regular one be like?! They shivered once more…
Creator's Thought
I would later realize that my definition of fun was a bit different from what everyone else considered fun. But, there was no need to fret. They would learn with time. This was just the first day after all. I would enjoy seeing newcomers' reactions in the future.