Craved by the Wrong Volkov-Chapter 281: Sorry doesn’t change a thing

Braelyn’s POV

"Please hit me if that would relieve your anger..." My jaw fell..

He said what?!

His words were bloody tempting. I so wanted to slap him but he looked broke already. Anger was boiling within me, but w whatever was going on with him, I didn’t know how to handle it.

His face was still put forward to me. He was waiting for me to slap. I backed away and almost stumbled on the wet fall. Raphael quickly caught my wrist to stop me from falling.

I froze halfway to the ground, my eyes locked on him, and confusion clouded my mind for a moment before I snapped out of it. "Let go of me.." I spat, slapping off his hand. I quickly created some distance between us.

"Are you crazy? What do you think you are doing?!" My voice rang in the rain. A silent beat fell between us. The rain roared as we just stared at each other for a moment.

Raphael straightened up and walked towards me. He stopped a foot away, his gaze didn’t leave me for a second. My eyes followed his every movement and watched him drop to his knees under the rain.

His gaze burned on me, more like it burned on my neck, where the hickey was still showing. He gulped as his voice trembled and Adam’s apple bobbled with water rolling down it.

"Slap me Braelyn.." he demanded .."I know how much it hurts all those times. I might not know the full pain you felt but I feel a fraction.." he explained, raising his voice over the roar of the rain.

"I am sorry Lynn. I was a horrible husband..." his voice continued to tremble like he was crying.."Just hit me release your pain.." Before he finished his sentence my hand ran across his face.

His face shifted from the force. A broken laugh escapes his lips. He slowly turned to me with a smile. "Please hit me again.." I listened and slapped the other cheek..

Then the other again. Over and over again I couldn’t hold back. The more I slapped him the brighter his smile was, as if it didn’t hurt him in the smallest fraction.

"Please hit me.." he continued to plead and I saw no reason to stop. I had always wanted to hit him. I held so much resentment in me that I needed an outlet.

Not even when his face turned red, I didn’t stop. Not even his bleeding nose. His smile remained as if he was pleased. I was venting yes, it felt good yes

But why did tears run from my eyes masked by the rain?.

.

The last slap rang and I stopped. He stared at me in confusion, seeing him out of breath. Raphael quickly rose up and held my hand I had been using to slap him. 𝑓𝓇𝘦ℯ𝘸𝘦𝑏𝓃𝑜𝘷ℯ𝑙.𝑐𝑜𝓂

His expression softened from that sadistic smile. "I hope your hand doesn’t hurt much." He asked. "I am sorry for putting you through much. " he genuinely wished, his warm tears dropped on my hand

He was the one bleeding on his face and he was worried about my hand. Was he out of his mind?

"Let go.." I barked out, shoving him off as I pulled my hand from his grasp. He was truly crazy...

"Slapping you does nothing Raphael.." I barked at him. "This would not erase the pain. I hate you Raphael. " I screamed at my lungs and he just stared at me

"I hate you ..." My voice dropped. I feel the tears. "I hate you as much as I loved you..."

He froze, I drew in a deep breath, and I picked up the spare umbrella I threw to him before grabbing mine.." So stop acting pathetic Raphael and if you want to die do it somewhere it would not implicate me.."

As soon as I said what was on my mind I ran. I didn’t want him to see me break down. The tears continued rolling down, and the rain drowned my sob.

I ran as fast as my legs could. My lungs felt heavy. My heart raced. Why did it hurt? Why was I still shaken by him? I told myself I wouldn’t cry for him again

I should be happy he was breaking but why..

The rain blurred the path, I didn’t see a stump ahead. My leg got trapped and I fell. I fell down in the rain, and my hand scraped the floor. Pain instantly shot through my body. As soon as I fell still processing the fall, I was pulled up and swept off the floor.

"I am sorry," he said, cradling me in his arms. I didn’t even hear him coming because of the rain. I was too exhausted to even fight him. He held me in his arms under the rain like he could not bear to let go.

I nuzzled my face on his shoulders. My voice came out muffled. "Why are you doing this to me?" I asked quietly.

And all he could say was sorry over and over again. But sorry doesn’t fix anything. I got fed up with listening to his empty apologies

"Sorry doesn’t fix anything Raphael.." I said quietly in his arms. His hold loosened and I broke free. I didn’t look him in the eyes and picked up my umbrella with my hands

I walked back to the villa, my footsteps were more stable now despite the trembling. My throat is raspy from crying. I knew he was following behind me

*******

The day in the rain changed something. I couldn’t point my finger at what exactly it was though. Raphael never mentioned the hickey and we never spoke about that evening.

Things settled into a rhythm. Since he was on a short medical leave, he woke every morning to fix breakfast before I left for work, and by noon he personally sent lunch.

Using the excuse of dropping by to sign some documents and at night we usually had dinner together. I didn’t reject the food because he was a good cook.

It felt more like we were roommates. He really never questioned me about what happened that day but his meaningful gaze said a lot. He was doing his best, balancing work and acting like a doting husband since he was working from work but everything felt too late.

The entire time I heard nothing from Lucien. It was like he disappeared but the trade war continued although it felt more like a stalemate for now.

.

Before I knew it the gala day drew closer and this time I had to attend with Raphael