Depraved Noble: Forced To Live The Debaucherous Life Of An Evil Noble!-Chapter 74: Aisha Noctus, The Seer Of A Thousand Battes

Cassius’s expression, previously one of cautious wariness, had now turned into a look of pure secondhand embarrassment.

’This fierce warrior who people fear across the land is actually just a dumb, overly loyal mutt.’

And just when she thought things couldn’t get worse for their image—

Aisha stepped forward.

Julie, with desperate hope, prayed that her Right Hand, the voice of reason among them, had come to help her up.

Finally. Someone sensible. Someone who—

"Skadi, you absolute brainless mutt." Aisha sighed heavily, rubbing her temples in frustration like she was fed up Skadi’s antics. "Just what do you think you’re doing?"

Skadi paused mid-stomp, turning to face Aisha with genuine outrage. "What does it look like?! I’m executing this damn rock that dared to hurt the captain!"

Aisha took a deep, exhausted breath. "Skadi. It’s a rock...It doesn’t have thoughts. It doesn’t have emotions. It doesn’t have a personal vendetta against the captain."

"It tried to kill her!" Skadi bared her fangs.

"It’s a rock. It’s not even alive to attempt murder."

Aisha dragged her hand down her face, inhaling deeply like she was summoning every ounce of patience left in her soul.

"Okay, fine." She muttered. "Let’s ignore the absolute stupidity of you trying to execute a rock. Let’s move on to something else..." She took a deep, slow breath before lifting her eyes to Skadi. "Explain to me…in detail…when in the hell did rocks start having families and who exactly are these family members you’re going to take revenge on?"

Skadi immediately straightened her posture, her tail flicking upward, her wolf ears standing tall as if she had just been given the opportunity to outsmart the so-called genius of their group.

A rare opportunity indeed.

Cassius saw it immediately. That glint in her silver eyes. The same glint of a person who had finally found their moment of triumph.

"You mean to tell me..." Skadi began with a smirk, voice dripping with mock pity. "...that the so-called genius strategist of the Sacred Guard, the brilliant and calculating Aisha Noctus, doesn’t know such a basic, fundamental fact about the natural world?"

Aisha’s eyebrow twitched violently. Julie sighed deeply, already regretting letting this conversation happen.

The knights—who up until now had been respectfully sitting on their horses—began dismounting one by one, some rubbing their temples, others stretching as if to prepare themselves for whatever the hell was about to come out of Skadi’s mouth.

Cassius was thoroughly entertained. Lucious, on the other hand, looked like he wanted to die.

Skadi crossed her arms, grinning like she had just cornered her rival in a chess match. "Listen carefully, Aisha." She said smugly. "Because I’m about to educate your tiny little brain."

Aisha looked like she was one second away from burying Skadi alive. Cassius was impressed she hadn’t done so already. Skadi, unbothered, continued.

"I read in a book—yes, Aisha, a book if you’ve ever read one—that all small pebbles were once part of bigger rocks."

Aisha narrowed her eyes. "...Okay?"

"And over time, they break down and split apart." Skadi explained, nodding confidently.

Aisha stared. "Okay?"

Skadi grinned. "Which means—"

Oh no...Cassius already sensed it.

Julie immediately turned her head away, as if she physically couldn’t bear to witness what was about to happen. The knights—already done with the situation—began shaking their heads.

Skadi puffed out her chest proudly. "Those bigger rocks would be their family, right?"

A long silence followed. A very long silence.

Aisha slowly—painfully slowly—closed her eyes.

Julie pressed her fingers against the ridge of her nose, unable to even look at her.

Cassius bit the inside of his cheek so hard to stop himself from laughing.

Lucious was just...gone. Mentally, gone.

The knights, all of them, had completely given up.

One even sat down on the grass. Another removed their helmet and placed it on the ground, looking up at the sky like they were reevaluating their life choices.

They weren’t even surprised.

They knew.

This wasn’t new.

This was just Skadi being Skadi.

Finally, Aisha exhaled, long and slow, as if she were holding onto reality by a thread.

"Y’know what? This is my fault." She muttered, rubbing her forehead aggressively. "I should’ve known better than to ask you anything that requires logic."

Skadi smirked smugly, crossing her arms. "See? At least you’re self-aware."

Aisha’s eye twitched violently. Julie winced internally.

Cassius?...Cassius was having the time of his life.

"Fine..." Aisha took another deep breath, visibly forcing herself to stay calm. "I’ll let the rock thing go. Let’s just move past it. Let’s pretend it never happened."

Skadi beamed, her tail wagging slightly, thinking that she had won the argument.

"But..." Aisha continued, narrowing her amber eyes. "I have one more question."

Skadi tilted her head. "Oh?"

She looked at her with a dead pan look on her face, "You have superb senses, don’t you?"

Skadi puffed her chest out. "Damn right I do. My wolfkin instincts are top-notch."

"Super sharp hearing, heightened reflexes, tracking ability so precise you can smell a battle before it even begins." Aisha listed, crossing her arms.

"Exactly." Skadi grinned proudly, practically radiating confidence.

Aisha’s frown deepend.

"Then..." She said slowly. "Why exactly didn’t you catch the captain when she fell?"

The entire area went silent. Julie stiffened visibly, eyes narrowing slightly.

"Huh?" Skadi blinked.

Aisha shrugged, looking mockingly casual. "You were right behind her, weren’t you? You always boast about how nothing escapes your senses. So if you were following her, then logically—you should’ve noticed that she was tripping, right?"

Skadi froze. Her ears twitched, her tail stiffened, and for a moment, her eyes darted around like a cornered animal.

Then, very hesitantly, she muttered. "O-Of course I noticed."

Aisha narrowed her eyes. "Then—?"

Skadi cleared her throat, suddenly very interested in the sky. "I just…Uh…I just never expected that the movement she made was because she was falling—I thought it was, you know some kind of secret attack."

"...I mean what kind of grandmaster knight falls over a pebble."

Cassius blinked slowly. Aisha bit her lips in disbelief, looking like she aged ten years in real time.

And the knights—who had somehow managed to remain at least somewhat composed until now—all turned their heads to stare directly at Julie.

Julie—who had just barely managed to push herself up from the ground—paused mid-movement.

She felt every single eye boring into her skull.

Then, with zero hesitation, she slowly, quietly, deliberately—went back down.

Julie Hellbane, the Whispering Blade, the fearsome war goddess, laid back down on the dirt like she had simply accepted her fate.

Cassius had to physically turn away to stop himself from laughing. Aisha, already beyond done, sighed loudly.

"You know, Skadi." She muttered tiredly. "I’d get it if you thought that years ago—back when we first met the Captain."

Skadi tilted her head. "Huh?"

Aisha crossed her arms, her gaze unkind and introverted as always. "I mean, come on. When you first see her—this incredibly powerful, regal, untouchable woman—you naturally assume she’s flawless. Anyone would."

Julie eyes widened not expecting Aisha to say such nice things about when she usually was so moody and glum like a teenager in puberty who seemed to hate everything in the world, especially her parents.

But sadly she got her hopes high for nothing after what she said next.

"But Skadi..." Aisha said, voice dripping with exhaustion. "We’ve known her for years now. Years...So, how do you still not know how insanely clumsy she actually is?"

"...Like it’s literally not the first time she’s...miscalculated her footing."

"W-What are you talking about?" Skadi blinked, while Julie had had her mouth open wide when she heard her comrade speak of her embarrassing past.

But Aisha didn’t seem to mind that she was airing out her captains dirty laundry and said, "Remember the time she tried to jump over that puddle during the Harvest Festival and landed face-first in the pigpen?"

"Oh...right." Skadi winced, remembering that embarrassing incident that made their captain smell like manure for an entire week.

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"Or the time she tripped over her own sword during the King’s birthday celebration and nearly took out the entire royal family?" Aisha continued, warming to her theme.

"Ah, Aisha, you don’t have to...There are others here as well." Skadi said as she glanced at Cassius who was keenly listening. But Aisha simply didn’t care.

"And let’s not forget the infamous ’Staircase Incident’ of the Winter Solstice Ball..." Aisha said, a a look of dread in her eyes at how lethal her captain’s clumsiness was. "...where she managed to fall up the stairs, taking out three guards and a chandelier in the process."

Skadi covered her ears. "Stop, stop! I get it! She’s...a little clumsy!"

"A little? Skadi, she’s a walking disaster waiting to happen. It’s a miracle she hasn’t burned down the entire estate yet." Aisha rolled her eyes like she was fed up with her clumsiness always being used as an excuse for silly mistakes.

And then, all of a sudden, Julie could take no more.

She let out a long, exasperated sigh and pushed herself up with a fluid motion—though she moved very carefully this time, probably terrified of adding to her growing list of clumsy mishaps. Then, in one swift motion, she grabbed Skadi by the ear with her right hand…and Aisha by the ear with her left.

"Oh, come on—Ow!" Aisha yelped first, her amber eyes widening as she tried to wriggle free in protest. "Captain, this hurts! My ears are—ow—really sensitive! This is harrasment I say! Harrasment! The captain is abusing her power on her comrades!"

Skadi, on the other hand, let out a more primal whimper, wolf ears pinned flat against her head as she tried to crane her neck away. "C-Captain…W-Wait—"

But there was no mercy in Julie’s expression. She wore that serious older-sister look, the one that said I’m so done with your nonsense right now. A faint flush still lingered on her cheeks—no doubt from the embarrassment of hearing her long list of clumsy exploits.

"Oh, I’m sorry...Did my two dear subordinates forget who’s in charge here? Because it sure sounded to me like you were having a grand time mocking your beloved Captain." Her voice was clipped, each syllable like a carefully measured blade as she addressed them both.

Aisha gasped, tears forming at the corners of her eyes as she struggled to escape Julie’s iron grip. "I—I wasn’t mocking you, Captain! Ow, ow—I was just stating the truth! You can’t be angry at me for saying what is the truth! That’s against my right to speech!" She winced, eyes darting to Cassius—who, by the way, looked extremely amused, standing just a few paces away, arms crossed over his chest, the faintest smirk lingering on his lips.

Julie turned her head slightly to glance at Cassius, noticing that smug flicker in his eyes—and the way his shoulders shook, like he was holding in a laugh. Her cheeks burned.

With a tense smile and a scary look in her eyes, she snapped back to Aisha, "The truth, huh? I suppose that includes every single embarrassing detail you can recall, especially in front of outsiders?"

"Hey—ow—stop tugging so hard!" Aisha nearly hopped on one foot, her cat tail swishing frantically in discomfort. "It’s not my fault! You know as well as I do that you can’t do normal day-to-day tasks without some sort of incident—like that time you—"

Julie’s glare intensified, and she twisted the poor cat’s ear a bit more. "We do not need to revisit that time in front of everyone."

Julie muttered, rolling her eyes as she kept her hold on both of them. Then, her frustration morphed into a strange sort of melancholy.

"I mean, really…What happened to the sweet little children I picked up all those years ago? Where did those adorable, wide-eyed little things who used to follow me around whenever I went go, hmm?"

Aisha paused, ignoring her throbbing ear for a moment. "They disappeared the day we both realized just how clumsy our captain is and not the mighty goddess we thought you were." She harumphed, her voice turning smug like she refused to give in.

Julie exhaled, letting out a half-laugh, half-groan, shaking her head like a disappointed mother.

"This is what I get for raising prodigies like without some discipline. Look at you, both of you—impossible."

Skadi, meanwhile, whined in protest, pulling at Julie’s wrist in a futile attempt to free her wolf ear.

"Captain, you’re going to rip my ear off! I can’t fight if I’m missing one ear!"

She then let out a whine, saying, "And Captain, I’m innocent here! I was just trying to stop Aisha from speaking to you like that!" She insisted, silver eyes darting to Aisha as if pleading for backup.

Julie let out a long, weary sigh—like a mother who’d heard every excuse in the book. She tilted her head slightly, giving Skadi a slow, appraising look.

"You know, Skadi..." She began, her tone half-exasperation, half-affection. "Your heart is always in the right place since your such a good puppy who always has the most purest of thoughts. But your brain…"

She paused, shook her head in theatrical disbelief.

"...Sometimes I question whether it exists at all."

Skadi’s jaw dropped in sheer offense.

"C-Captain!" She gasped, ears flattening. "How can you say that about me? I’m your Left Hand! One of the two assistant captains of the Holyfield Guard—would I be in this position if I didn’t have a brain?" She puffed out her chest, trying and failing to look dignified as Julie still tugged on her ear. "I demand a proper explanation!"

Julie gave her an indulgent, almost pitying stare.

"You got this position because you are a genius on the battlefield, Skadi." She stressed every word, making sure Skadi heard it loud and clear. "You know how to read enemy formations, exploit weaknesses, and break through entire lines like they’re nothing. But if it were for your…how shall we say…mental acuity off the battlefield, the entire Sacred Guard would have been wiped out ages ago."

Skadi looked like someone had just taken away her favorite toy and told her Santa wasn’t real, all at once.

"Th-That’s—But I’m—" She stammered, nose twitching like a wounded pup’s. "But Captain, so many people call me ’special’ and talk about my intelligence! They say I’m different from the usual wolf beastkin, that I’m clever—"

Julie gave her a long, pitiful stare, letting her hand slip away from Skadi’s ear.

"They’re not wrong." She said gently, looking at her like a puppy that was a little off after its mother’s had dropped it on the a floor a little too many times. "You are special, Skadi. Just in your own...unique way."