Echoes of My Heart Throughout the Court-Chapter 321: I Just Wanted to Find Out Who Hadn’t Been Flushing for Six Months, So Why Did I End Up Catching Two Weirdos?

Extra update for missing yesterday. And you will love this gossip.

“Ah!”

“Ow!”

“Hiss!”

“Ow!”

Elder Quan, still vigorous despite his age, swung his iron crutches with fierce momentum.

“This is for not flushing after using the latrine!”

“Do you have any idea what I’ve been through these past six months?!”

“Do you know how cruel it is to make an old man hold it in and go to another office just to relieve himself?!”

Vice Minister of Agriculture clutched his head, wailing miserably. But he didn’t dare dodge—after all, he was the one who started this whole mess by not flushing in the first place.

As for what would happen when Little Baize returned and saw his swollen backside… well, they already had a full set of excuses prepared—

Before the beating, the Vice Minister of Agriculture had rushed to the latrine one last time and deliberately left without flushing. He was immediately caught by the Eastern Palace guards and dragged before the Crown Prince. Then, the beating commenced.

The Crown Prince stood by, ready to step in the moment Elder Quan got tired.

Behind him, several more furious officials were lined up, waiting for their turn.

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Of course, they all knew their limits—no real harm would come from the beating.

Just then, an official jogged over, looking thoroughly embarrassed. “Your Highness, may I return home now?”

The Crown Prince was stunned. “Now? It’s only the beginning of the Xu hour!”

—Which meant it was barely past 7 p.m.

The official looked even more awkward. “My wife insists that I be home before the fourth quarter of the Xu hour every day… I fear my wife.”

The Crown Prince gave him a sympathetic glance. “Then go.”

The official expressed his deepest gratitude, bowed, and quickly exited through the side door.

No sooner had he left than Xu Yanmiao returned. Seeing the beaten and bruised Vice Minister of Agriculture, he quickly concealed his schadenfreude.

[Good thing I saw the gossip alert from the system and rushed back.]

[Otherwise, by the time I finished using the latrine, the beating might have been over!]

Xu Yanmiao swiftly took his seat. Listening to the sound of the iron crutch cutting through the air, he felt his teeth ache in sympathy.

[I told him before—if you don’t flush, karma will catch up to you!]

The Vice Minister of Agriculture stared gloomily at the ceiling beams.

Now… hiss… should he change his ways…?

“Ah! Elder Quan! Can you hit… just a little lighter?!”

Was it too late to start flushing now…?

[Wait a minute… he only skipped flushing three or four times… Does he really deserve this severe of a beating?]

His eyes suddenly widened.

Hold on!

Someone in the Eastern Palace had been skipping flushes for six whole months. If he had only done it three or four times, then it wasn’t him at all!

Or rather—he did deserve a beating, but definitely not this severe.

They had the wrong guy!!!

“AAAHHHH—”

A miserable scream rang out.

Quan Yizhang coughed, retracting his iron crutch. “Apologies, that was my mistake. Just now…” He was too shocked. “My hand slipped.”

A single tear slid down the Vice Minister’s face.

But he kept his eyes wide open.

He had to find out which bastard had gotten him beaten in their place!

[This is strange. According to the gossip system, someone in the Eastern Palace has been skipping flushes every two to three days for six months straight, or at least not flushing properly. But why haven’t I found this person? Why is the Vice Minister of Agriculture still the only culprit on record?]

The Vice Minister’s eyes were now as round as copper gongs.

Don’t panic.

Xu Yanmiao, don’t panic.

Take your time. You have to find this bastard! My suffering must not be in vain!

[Damn it, no! If I don’t get the full scoop, I won’t be able to sleep tonight!]

Xu Yanmiao’s burning gaze on the system interface sent cold sweat dripping down the backs of several officials around him.

It was the first time they had ever seen Xu Lang so fired up.

[Here we go!]

[Immersive gossip investigation—begin!]

A phantom-like sound of flipping pages echoed in his mind, accompanied by his relentless inner monologue.

[Minister Qiao…]

Minister Qiao’s brow twitched, and he immediately tensed up.

[Oh, this one checks out. Next!]

Minister Qiao let out a sigh of relief.

[Vice Minister Fang…]

Vice Minister Fang gave a reserved smile, internally murmuring, I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong… right?

[This one checks out. Next!]

He let out a breath of relief.

[Wait, wait! Retract that!]

Vice Minister Fang immediately swallowed his relief back down, looking at Xu Yanmiao with unease and nervous anticipation.

Wait a second! I was sure I didn’t do anything… or… could I have forgotten?!

[Vice Minister Fang really needs to take better care of himself… Is the Ministry of Rites this busy lately? He’s been burning the midnight oil nonstop. His eyes are bloodshot, and his cheeks are sunken—I didn’t even notice before.]

[Back when I was an exam proctor, I also stayed up too much, but I found an old doctor who prescribed me medicine that helped me recover my energy. I should introduce him to that doctor!]

Fang, Right Vice Minister of the Ministry of Rites, froze for a moment. A thousand words swirled in his mind, but he didn’t know what to say. He wanted to thank him, but a simple “thanks” felt too dry.

[Next one!]

Xu Yanmiao was full of energy.

[Meng Su, Meng Ziping… Huh? Where is he? Oh, he left early.]

[Let’s take a look.]

[Whoa… He left early because if he isn’t home before 8 p.m., his wife will scold and beat him.]

[Hiss—]

[There’s even whipping involved?! She makes him kneel… Isn’t that a bit too much?]

The Crown Prince, usually calm and easygoing, now looked utterly bewildered.

Wh-whipping?!

Kneeling?!

Did I hear that right?

The other officials were just as shocked.

They had heard that Lady Meng was a fierce woman, but they never imagined she was this extreme!

Baize had mentioned that 8 p.m. was the Xu hour. If Meng didn’t return home before the fourth quarter of Xu hour, he would get whipped?!

That was brutal!

And yet, he still obeyed that woman without question… What for?! Wasn’t he afraid of being tormented to death one day?

The officials of the Eastern Palace were completely dumbfounded.

[Even his wife’s family couldn’t stand it anymore. They’ve hinted multiple times that she shouldn’t go too far, or else she might drive away such a good husband.]

[Wow! Editor Meng even visited his in-laws himself to tell them that he deeply loves his wife and will never divorce her.]

[So… this really is a case of one willing to hit and the other willing to be hit.]

The Crown Prince and the Eastern Palace officials were even more stunned.

He actually accepts this willingly?!

Doesn’t it hurt?!

[Eh… wait a second.]

Xu Yanmiao stared at the system interface, his expression indescribably complicated.

The others couldn’t suppress their curiosity.

Even the Crown Prince casually strolled over, inching closer to Xu Yanmiao.

[The one who hasn’t been flushing for six months… is him?!]

The Crown Prince froze.

Huh? Could it be that he got beaten so badly that he… had no choice?!

Xu Yanmiao was so focused on the gossip that he didn’t even notice the Crown Prince’s approach.

[No wonder we couldn’t find the culprit. We were using the wrong search terms! He didn’t actually skip flushing—he smuggled dog feces from outside, disguised them as human waste, and dumped them into the latrine. If we were only looking for unflushed toilets, of course we wouldn’t find him.]

[I… I don’t even know what to say, but I really want to rant about this to someone.]

[Editor Meng, you figured out from the start that the Vice Minister of Agriculture wasn’t flushing…]

[You noticed it but didn’t say anything. Instead, you followed him in and secretly applied medicine in the latrine to speed up his wound healing. That medicine smelled awful, but everyone just assumed it was the stench of feces and didn’t think too much of it!]

[Later, the Vice Minister of Agriculture got scared that the matter would blow up, so he started flushing. But you persistently kept bringing dog feces from outside to disguise as human waste. This made the Vice Minister of Agriculture question his own sanity every time he left the latrine, wondering if he had actually flushed. He was so shaken that he even considered resigning over it!]

Vice Minister of Agriculture: “!!!”

So that’s what happened?!

He knew he had been flushing!

But since everyone in the Eastern Palace insisted that someone wasn’t flushing, and he was the only one suspected… how could he not doubt himself?!

[This… this…]

Xu Yanmiao was utterly stunned.

[That’s way too messed up!]

With a sudden whoosh, two streaks of tears rolled down the Vice Minister of Agriculture’s face.

Justice!

Justice at last!

“Ah!”

The Vice Minister of Agriculture turned back with a trembling voice. “Why are you still hitting me?”

This time, it wasn’t Quan Yizhang who struck him—it was Le Zui.

Physician Le looked at him with a strange expression, full of disbelief. “We still haven’t settled the matter of you tearing up books to wipe your ass.”

Vice Minister of Agriculture: “……”

He mumbled for a long time but ultimately didn’t dare say: I tore up my own books. What does that have to do with you?

This whole ordeal… had completely numbed the Crown Prince.

“I just wanted to find out who hadn’t been flushing for six months…”

How did this investigation uncover two bizarre individuals instead?

Moreover—

The Crown Prince suddenly understood: So that’s why Meng Ziping ran off so fast—he was afraid Xu Yanmiao would expose him!

So much for being afraid of his wife!

[As messed up as it is, he did actually run off because he needed to be home by 8 p.m.]

Crown Prince: “?”

He no longer felt like leaving, nor was he even angry anymore. He just found himself a seat, settling in with the attitude of an entertained onlooker.

Alright then, let’s see just how wild tonight’s gossip gets!

Xu Yanmiao happily flipped further into the records.

And then—

[Hah?!]

[Meng Ziping’s wife is actually a gentle and demure woman! Whether it’s whipping him or slapping him, it’s all because he begged her to do it!]

“……”

“……”

“……”

The Crown Prince and the ministers exchanged serious glances for five full breaths. Then, with equally grave expressions, they silently communicated:

“I’m not hallucinating, am I? I heard that correctly, right?”

The ministers solemnly shook their heads:

“Your Highness, we heard it too…”

After another five breaths of silence, their expressions completely collapsed.

We were pitying you for being beaten by your wife, and it turns out you were begging for it?!

[A perfectly fine noblewoman was forced to pick up a whip, forced to slap her husband, forced to set up a series of strict rules and punish him if he broke them.]

[What kind of cruel and unusual suffering is this?]

[Doesn’t she feel pain? Force is mutual!]

[Madam. Tragic.]

[W-wait, hold on!]

[Meng Ziping is also a registered Imperial Censor. No wonder he constantly speaks bluntly and infuriates the old emperor.]

[Turns out… it’s just so he can provoke a caning?!]

[The more public the punishment, the happier he is?!]

[No wonder he always proudly attends court with fresh slap marks…]

Outside the Eastern Palace.

Meng Ziping was hurrying away while covering his ears, but Xu Yanmiao’s thoughts still echoed crystal clear in his mind.

I’m doomed.

Meng Ziping thought despairingly.

Now that His Majesty knew punishment wouldn’t work on him… he’d never be able to fake his way into a caning again!

He looked up and saw, not far away, the old emperor leading a group of guards.

It was clear that His Majesty had also heard Xu Yanmiao’s thoughts.

“……”

“……”

Meng Ziping’s eyes lit up. “Your Majesty, this minister—”

The emperor took a huge step backward.

With a thud, Meng Ziping dropped to his knees, looking up at the emperor with burning anticipation.

“Your Majesty! This minister has committed a grave offense. I have deliberately disrespected Your Majesty in court for my own selfish reasons. I willingly accept my punishment!”

The emperor: “……”

He closed his eyes for a moment.

What sins did I commit in my past life to deserve these kinds of officials?

Meng Ziping crawled forward on his knees.

The emperor: “Stop!”

With a commanding stride, the emperor marched toward him, exuding an overwhelming presence.

Meng Ziping’s eyes shone even brighter.

And then—

The emperor briskly walked right past him, moving so fast that even the guards struggled to keep up.

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