Evolving Classes In The Apocalypse-Chapter 36: Breath of Air

The moment I heard that from Ysor herself, a cold pain tore through my chest.

There were not many times I had seen Ysor so broken by anything. She was the one who held things together, who spoke too loudly and believed too fiercely, who dragged me forward when I wanted to stop. Seeing her crumble like this felt wrong in a way I couldn’t articulate.

I pulled her towards me with one arm, my other hand still holding the bowl of food. She leaned into me and continued to sob, quietly, her shoulders shaking against my side. For that moment, I just sat there. There was nothing I could do besides hold her.

Ysor had a tendency to believe that everything that happened to me, everything she was involved in, was her fault. But this wasn’t her fault at all.

It wasn’t her fault that I killed Desmond. It wasn’t her fault that Galahad had turned out to be a rotten Enforcer who wanted to sell me for his own personal profit. Those were elements she couldn’t control.

They were my decisions and my fate... and secrets I was very hesitant to tell her.

Killing someone was not a weightless matter. I didn’t expect Ysor to side with me on everything, and I was reluctant to let these things I had done drive a wedge between us. The thought of her looking at me differently sat heavier than the guilt itself.

I exhaled and glanced at her untouched food.

"It’s getting cold... are you sure you don’t want to eat?"

She wiped her face and leaned away from me slowly, sniffling once before straightening.

"Mommy, Auntie, Bishorel is crying..."

The little kid gave Ysoriel a look of pity that almost made me laugh. He toddled over and offered her his bowl of porridge, holding it out with both hands with his childish voice serious and careful.

"Don’t cry..."

Ysor looked at the small bowl of leftover porridge and smiled fondly. "Look at you being nicer to me than my own brother." She grappled the boy and playfully roughed his hair while he responded with jittery laughter, squirming in her arms.

I watched her for a moment, the tightness in my chest loosening slightly, then turned to my own bowl of porridge and started eating. One spoon after another.

The cooking had been astounding. The first taste hit me so unexpectedly that my eyes froze wide for a moment. It had been so long since I’d eaten properly enriched food that the warmth and flavor caught me off guard, and with it came a memory I hadn’t reached for in a long time.

My mother, standing over a pot. The smell of something good filling a small room.

I swallowed and continued eating, faster now. The memory itself was like a taste, and I didn’t want to linger on it.

It turned out Marcel was right. I didn’t think I would want to serve voluntarily, but if I could eat food like this every day, the thought had already started changing shape.

Even while eating, I was watching Marcel. He was seated on the other side of the bonfire, which served as the center of the round valley where the cooking happened. An in-ground furnace had been constructed there, with metal beams rigged into the earth to support a leveling structure over the flames.

I watched him through the gaps between the beams. He was laughing as he ate, discussing something with the men and women that surrounded him. He looked at ease in a way that didn’t seem performed.

Then I noticed something. One of the people near him shifted, and behind their covered neck, the wind briefly pushed the cloth aside. Underneath, the skin was charred and cracked, like something had burned through from the inside.

I glanced around more carefully. Not everyone was covering their skin, but those who were had chosen specific places. Their heads and arms, and wearing longer clothes to hide what lay beneath.

I exhaled and turned my head away.

’They really are Undefined...’

I had known, of course. But seeing it made me realize the weight of what Marcel had built here. He had gathered people who fled to save their lives and brought them to a place where they could keep living. I couldn’t help but wonder how long he had been doing this. When it started. What had made him start.

I wondered why.

But these weren’t questions I was comfortable asking. I was curious, but Marcel’s words alone were not going to satisfy me. It was his actions I needed to see.

’I’ll stay a few days and observe him before deciding if I can trust him.’

While I was watching him, he caught my gaze from across the fire. He smiled at me, pleasant and unhurried, then turned back to his conversation. 𝕗𝐫𝚎𝗲𝘄𝐞𝕓𝐧𝕠𝘃𝕖𝐥.𝐜𝚘𝚖

I didn’t smile back.

By the time dinner ended, the darkness of the night had spread across the valleys. The people had no issues walking in the dark. The only difference from our arrival a few hours ago was that nobody was walking on the rocks this time. Everyone kept to the ground, even Marcel.

Ysor and I walked together in silence for a while before I broke it.

"Do you trust him?"

She glanced at me.

"Who? Marcel?"

I nodded.

"Hm."

She went quiet, thinking it over.

’She’s thinking...’

If Ysor didn’t trust someone, she said so immediately. The hesitation meant something.

"I think he’s okay?"

"Hm..."

She glanced around at the people walking ahead of us.

"All these people owe him their lives and yet he doesn’t lord it over them. Even though a better life would suit him, he stays here tending to these people. He’s been here for five years..."

I blinked.

"Five years?"

Ysor nodded.

"Yes. Ayesha, Astrid, Truman were the first people he helped. Ever since, he’s taken in more and never complained. He sometimes hurts and never shows it. Ayesha knows because she tends to his personal needs, and it’s not because he asked her to. She said she just wanted to pay him back with service."

I squinted.

"Ysor... personal needs?"

I glanced toward Marcel, who was walking far ahead, blocked by the crowd.

"He really doesn’t look like that type of person from afar. I guess people really do have their preferences. He didn’t look like that type of person to me."

Ysor stared at me with flat disappointment and shook her head.

"You know that was not what I was talking about."

I scratched my neck, looking away.

"Really? It wasn’t? Oh my? I lack proper comprehension!"

Ysor shook her head again and walked forward faster.

"You always think everything is funny!"

I laughed and ran after her.