FFF-Class Trashero-Chapter 412

[31st Round] Ignorant God of War

He was a very peculiar being.

A raven sat like an epaulet on his right shoulder, and Master Mollan wiggled over his left shoulder.

It wouldn’t be farfetched to say he looked like a tamer.

Moreover, his face strangely resembled Fugitive Senior.

If I were to be asked who was more handsome, I’d say the younger of the two.

If the two were related by blood, their genes were probably improved by whoever his wife was.

“I thought my grandson died since our contract suddenly broke, only to find this scene when I came in a hurry to collect his belongings…”

“Caw.”

“You don’t have to worry about this crow, young Hero. This guy is like Pet No. 2.”

“Mollan~ Mollan~”

“And this is my first secretary. Unlike me, he is a very capable friend.”

I turned my gaze to him to listen to his story while holding Fugitive Senior between his 6th and 7th cervical vertebrae.

“Your grandson?”

“That’s right. Considering the general situation and not taking into consideration all excuses I can make, he’s one of my many descendants.”

“Wouldn’t it be okay if he dies since you have many descendants anyway?”

“Haha! You seem to have greatly misunderstood me.”

“…”

I remained silent.

To be honest, the greatness of my opponent was tiring me out.

『Luck』 『Undefeated』 『Mollan』 『Popcorn』 『Retribution』 『Demon World』 『Swordsmanship』 『Chunjang』 『Ideal』 『Wisdom』 『Harem』 『Birth』 『Creation』 『Swarm』 『Love』 『Pepper』 『Following』 』 『Glory』 『Weather』 『Clawfish』 『Education』 『Planet』 『Annihilation』 『Game』 『Yasap』 『Onion』 『Carrot』 『Green Pepper』 『Panties』 『Mercury』 『Friend』 『Steel』 『Copper』 『 Platinum’ 『Blood』 『Science』 『Childrearing』 『Broadcasting』 『Sponsoring』 『Gambling』 『Potatoes』 『Skull』 『Chilli』…

His Providences, which numbered probably as many as the stars in the night sky, put heavy pressure on me.

Some of them were quite absurd, but there were just far too many for me to even think of surviving against him.

I didn’t even know how this was realistically possible, but I would crumble into powder instantly if we fought.

“Don’t worry too much. I simply have an accumulation of powers owned by all the gods that had reached the level of Providence.”

“…”

“I, myself, am not that great. At most, I only have three Providences that I can call my own. As you probably already know, numbers aren’t a measure of ability. I’m not much different from you, who only have one.”

Aside from three, all of his Providences weren’t his?

That made me even more curious.

“The pet on your shoulder aside, who are you?”

“The commander. I’m usually called ‘Boss’. Don’t I look like one? Hahaha!”

“…”

“Well, I don’t know if it’s because of the circumstances, but you can’t seem to take a joke. Anyway…”

『A certain ignorant god of war laughs.』

『A certain innocent goddess waves her hand.』

『A certain restless demonic god is getting bored.』

“This is who I am.”

“Woah…”

I didn’t know where the other two were hiding, but the three greatest and strongest deities across the universe had gathered.

One of them was even right in front of me.

“As the commander-in-chief, I delegate Providences to other gods, and they are tasked to handle important events across the universe in return. Compared to that, my grandson’s problems… are as small as dust.”

“What do you consider a big deal, then?”

“Let’s see… For example, should I save a planet inhabited by 50 billion individuals and move it to a safe galaxy before it gets sucked into a black hole?”

“…”

The scale of his predicaments was so colossal I was rendered speechless.

“The issues of humans are far too trivial for me, considering I don’t have time to care about the unfortunate few. After all, the number of beings who die or get injured in the blink of an eye due to my decisions often reach millions.”

“…”

“Ah, I didn’t mean to whine. You just remind me of my youth.”

The God of War’s story gave me goosebumps.

His life was very similar to the ‘Hero’s life’ I had been pursuing since the first round.

The only difference was that it had been greatly expanded from planetary to a universal level.

“Are you…”

“Say it.”

“No. Nothing.”

I couldn’t possibly ask.

‘Are you satisfied with your present self, which must be broken one way or another?’

He smiled bitterly.

“I have known about my grandson’s problems for a long time.”

What?”

“There’s no way I wouldn’t know. I do have quite the capable secretary.”

“Mollan~ Mollan~”

The rainbow-colored slime, technically Master Mollan’s grandfather, fluttered on the God of War’s shoulder.

Pope Mollan.

He was such a cool slime.

“But from a universal perspective, my grandson’s errors are very trivial matters. Moreover, although he’s too obsessed with women, he has great political power, and his performance as a peaceful galactic ruler is more than enough to cover for his mistakes.”

“So you want me to forgive him?”

“Ah, again, don’t get me wrong. Many beings are capable of running galaxies. Smart Mollan, Innocent Mollan, Kind Mollan, Clever Mollan. Honest Mollan, Cold-hearted Mollan, and others. I’m sure I’d find more if I actually start looking for them.”

“Woah…”

Master Mollan’s brothers were active all over the universe.

“I dared leave my grandson alone despite his flaws simply because he punishes the billions of tyrants who are worse than he is. Wouldn’t it be too pitiful if only my grandson were punished? Moreover, in the perfect universe ruled by Mollan, there will never be a new god like you. Only in difficult times do we ever need Heroes, after all.”

“That’s a bizarre policy.”

Did that mean he deliberately left some situations alone to create new deities?

“Look back on your life, Righteous Hero. If you had successfully graduated from Fantasy in your first round as Kang Han Soo, would you still have been as strong as you are now?”

“…”

I wasn’t certain.

But it was unlikely.

The years I lost were definitely a waste of time, but practicing Master Mollan’s teachings throughout those days was a great achievement for me.

Because of that, if I became an athlete at this point, I’d be able to sweep the Olympic gold medals by myself.

World Cup? Even if I played without a goalkeeper and a coach in soccer, I was confident that I could win alone.

However, there was no place for a ‘Hero’ anywhere in such a mundane reality. They would just think I was insane.

“I’m glad a great god like you has been born.”

“Why?”

“The reason I became the commander-in-chief of all gods is to defeat Solo, the universe’s strongest. In the distant past, he was an existence so absolute he won a war against all deities combined. Since then, I’ve been nurturing our kind’s unity in preparation for when he reappears. That’s why new gods are always welcome.”

“Solo…”

An absolute god with a name that seemed to suggest solitude…

“Mollan~ Mollan~”

“My secretary researched you a little. You have a very stellar record. The Fantasy Institution completely blocked the path to becoming a god since autonomy does not manifest itself with a molded infusion-type ideology. However, despite being raised in the worst environment for ascension, you reached godhood in only two hundred years like a lotus blooming through the mud. Ah, but as much as I’d like to talk a little more about this, I don’t have enough time to do so.”

“Huh? What?”

Fugitive Senior disappeared from my grasp.

“Let me deal with my ugly grandson with honor. He’ll be undergoing a hundred years of popcorn punishment. After all, as strange as this sounds, his biggest sin is wasting my precious time in vain.”

“Uhh…”

That wasn’t strange at all, was it? Every night, I always told my cowardly wife to be grateful for being able to spend the night with such a handsome Hero.

In the past, Ssosia used to snort in reply, but these days, she had been working hard for me and listened to my orders.

“I’ll be taking my leave now.”

“Caw!”

“… Hey. Stay calm. Don’t break the mood.”

『A certain ignorant god of war says goodbye.』

『A certain innocent goddess waves her hand.』

『A certain restless demonic god waves his hand.』

“Caw! Caw!”

“Agh, you little…!”

Pop!

The Ignorant War God left arguing with his crow.

As for me…

“Whew.”

『A certain righteous divine being is at a loss.』

That was crazy!

It was great that he took the initiative of punishing his grandson himself.

Whether he would actually see it through was out of my control, but I didn’t care.

All that mattered was that I finally fulfilled my promise to my best friend, Noebius.

However, I now faced another predicament.

“Cleaning the mess is always such a hassle.”

A war’s end would never be unwelcome.

But I would forever find tending to its aftermath annoying.

“Mollan?”

“Mollan?”

“Mollan?”

“… What?”

It wasn’t Pope Mollan who was on the War God’s shoulder.

These mollans wore clerk-like hats.

“My friend. Look at the sky.”

“The sky?”

I followed the words of Noebius, who had an arm around Erdanti’s slim waist.

A bleak smile appeared on my face.

Mollan Fleet.

Their mothership was invisible, but numerous Mollanroids were descending from space to the ground.

“I know the universe is small, but I didn’t expect to see you again so soon.”

“You again?”

“Yes. I, Brave Mollan Pilot, have been commissioned by the commander to restore the planet.”

“War God…”

They were perfect for post-war cleanup…

He had so many excellent subordinates that we no longer had to do it ourselves.

He was the embodiment of the ideal Hero I envisioned.

Should I follow in his footsteps?

Or should I find a completely new path?

“What do you plan to do, Hero? Would you like to watch the planet restoration work from here?”

“No. I’m going home. I have other pressing matters to attend to.”

The GGG-class Hero faced a new dilemma!

*****

“S-e-e-e-e-e-ex~!”

I rode the obscenely screaming stingray home quickly.

Now that the interference of Mollansoft had disappeared, Fantasy had finally become my territory.

It would be my fault if this planet did well, but if it didn’t, it would be my wife’s.

“Isn’t that too unreasonable, handsome husband?!”

“Become my second wife, then.”

“You’re such a coward.”

“Hmph! Do you think anyone can just be my first wife?”

“Aww…”

Ssosia burst into anger at my eloquence but eventually succumbed to the magical word ‘first.’

“I know you just returned, dear husband, but do you think there’s a problem at home with the family?”

“My mother-in-law?”

“No, not my mother, who’s trying to steal her son-in-law away from her own daughter. I meant your parents.”

“Hmm…”

They had been fine for twenty-five Earth years without me.

Did something unexpected happen?

“Look at this.”

I read the messages on Ssosia’s mollanphone.

⤷Me: Mother! I have very good news! (1:04 am)

—–September 17, 2050—–

⤷Mother: I only just read your text since you sent it so late in the evening. (7:04 am)

⤷Mother: So what’s the good news? Do I have a second grandchild now? (7:05 am)

⤷Me: I think my husband will be able to go home to Earth soon. (7:08 am)

⤷Mother: Really? That’s great. He’s been ignoring my text messages a lot lately, so I can’t help but feel a little mad at him. (7:09 am)

⤷ Me: I apologize on his behalf. He’s clearly at fault here. We’ll be visiting you soon, so please don’t worry too much. (7:11 am)

“… Should I keep reading, wife? Or should I punish your pelvis first?”

“Just keep going. Scroll down.”

Following Ssosia’s sharp words, I read all the way to the end of their conversation.

⤷Mother: Be sure to contact us before you come. (9:24 am)

⤷Me: Yes, mother. (9:25 am)

—–September 17, 2050—–

⤷Mother: Something’s wrong! What was this about? (6:31 am)

⤷Me: What happened, mother? (6:38 am)

⤷Mother: After hearing that his brother was coming, my second child ran away from home. Did Han Soo say harsh words to his brother? He said that if they met, he would kill him. (6:39 am)

⤷Me: I doubt it. Even if he breaks everyone’s spine and pelvis, he loves his family too much to do that. (6:41 am)

⤷Mother: He still hasn’t come back. I can’t find him. Did he get kidnapped? I don’t know what to do… (4:04 pm)

⤷ Me: Don’t worry. I’m sure he’ll be fine. I’ll talk to my husband when he comes back. (4:06 pm)

“My brother?”

“Have you ever sent your brother a threatening text message, handsome husband?”

“No.”

We’ve never even talked to each other since he seemed to be avoiding me.

However, I was being suspected as the cause of my brother’s disappearance.

He ran away from home at such an exquisite timing.

“What are you going to do?”

“I must go now.”

I couldn’t focus on my work anyway since I couldn’t stop thinking about my mother’s tennis racket hitting me as soon as we met again.

The reason was a bit ridiculous, but…

It was finally time for the Hero to return to his breathtakingly beautiful home planet.