From CEO to Concubine-Chapter 161: Disobedient Child

Chapter 161: Disobedient Child

There was no need for the supervisor of the Department of Ceremonies to attend the autumn hunt. Xiao Fu had received the imperial edict at the entrance of Wushan Palace adding their godfather’s name to the entourage and their godfather had scoffed and muttered "troublesome" under his breath, but the laughter in his eyes had been the most genuine Xiao Fu had ever seen and he’d felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. It brought with it the ugly realisation that the uneasy status quo he’d lived in for the past couple of years was about to be shattered, to spiral out of his control.

He was suddenly reminded of a time he couldn’t bear to recall, when he was nothing more than a newly appointed sweeping eunuch, taken under their godfather’s wing in a moment of uncharacteristic sympathy.

In comparison to Xiao De’s naivety, Xiao Fu was already of an age old enough to understand the vulgar insinuations in the lingering glances of the men who laid eyes on their godfather, to guess what it was their godfather had had to endure whenever the son of heaven deigned to visit Wushan Palace. Perhaps out of mercy for the remnants of their godfather’s pride or maybe just a reflection of the mindless possessiveness the late emperor had felt for his favourite plaything, but the maidservants and eunuchs were always dismissed whenever he came around to have some fun. Still, the noises had travelled out from beyond the gauzy curtains that framed their godfather’s bed and out through the doors onto the corridor, the quiet gasps and occasional suppressed moans bringing a flush to Xiao Fu’s face and a fire to his loins that he hasn’t even thought possible after his castration.

Xiao Fu hated the late emperor with every fibre of his being. He despised him for trapping their godfather in a golden cage, dressing him up in finery and giving him unwanted power and prestige in the inner palace, a tyrant indulgently painting a caricature of an empress, unknowing or uncaring that he was the only one touched by his ’gifts’ and that to the rest of the world, their godfather’s existence was a thorn lodged in their throats.

But more than that, he loathed the marks he left all over their godfather’s skin when he was done, the stains he left between their godfather’s thighs, blemishes that their godfather would sit up nonchalantly in bed after the late emperor had left and ask Xiao Fu to help him clean up.

Xiao De was too young, would be scared, had little idea.

Xiao Fu was level-headed, responsible, discreet. their godfather had permitted his touch after all those horrific encounters with the late emperor, unaware that Xiao Fu’s hand had trembled as he’d picked that limp, frail, pale body up in his arms to carry him to the bathtub. His fingers had felt like they were burning as they’d pressed between the supple flesh into that tight heat to scoop out the disgusting mess of blood and seed the late emperor had left behind after slaking his lust.

Xiao Fu abhorred Emperor Wenchun. But guilt gnawed at his conscience as much as jealousy consumed his soul.

Nothing had been more satisfying than watching as their godfather had enacted revenge, waiting patiently as the poison seeped into those precious veins and ate away at the dragon’s mind and body until there was little left of him but an empty shell.

Their godfather...Supervisor Liu of the Department of Mysteries, Nine Thousand Years. Xiao Fu had seen firsthand just what he was capable of achieving should he set his mind to it. He wasn’t so delusional as to believe that he would wind up with any different fate than the late emperor should their godfather catch wind of his feelings.

But after Emperor Wenchun’s death, things had settled down for a handful of years, years of a stolen peace that made Xiao Fu complacent, led him to believe that maybe things would continue this way forever. He could live in Wushan Palace with their godfather until they both turned old and grey, until one day in the future, one winter, as he sat by their godfather’s bedside for the final time in this incarnation, he might summon up the courage to call him by name.

He knew it was wishful thinking—their godfather had never made it a secret that he’d intended to leave, but how or why, Xiao Fu could only guess—but he didn’t anticipate that the pretty illusion would be shattered this soon or this cruelly.

"Who was it?"

Their godfather cocked his head and glanced up, mildly perturbed. Long black silken strands spilt messily down his back like a waterfall as he attempted to refasten his hair, which had come loose from the simple jade hairstick he’d used to keep it up earlier.

Even for Supervisor Liu, who was infamous for walking the fine line between proper and scandalous, this was a level of lackadaisical that Xiao Fu rarely saw outside of the bedchamber. But this wasn’t what had Xiao Fu’s heart in a merciless grip.

The bite marks sucked into that white, elegant neck, the bruises encircling slender wrists, they were all unspoken signs of a sight that must have been as sweet as the first spring wind, carrying with it the intoxicating fragrance of heady desire.

For the first time, Xiao Fu felt his control slipping beyond his grasp.

"Who was it?" he repeated, chest heaving with the deep breaths he took to try and force himself to remain calm, to hide that greedy obsession that was going to ruin everything he had today if he didn’t contain himself. He had no right to ask, of course, even if Liu Suzhi wasn’t their godfather he was still the most powerful eunuch in the inner palace, had an unusual amount of influence over the young emperor that no one really understood.

Their godfather’s brow furrowed. When frowning, he became a perplexed beauty who wore the troubles of the world like a veil of melancholy, only serving to tempt the men around him to fall to their knees more quickly to please his every whim.

Xiao Fu was no stranger to the hushed whispers that floated upon the inner palace corridors, tongues wagging about how Imperial Noble Consort was going to bring ruin to the country, how His Majesty was so enthralled he would one day ’light the beacons to tease the warlords, all to earn one smile from the beauty’1. But to Xiao Fu, the beauty of the emperor’s favourite was like pure spring water, light and refreshing but without the dangerous edge that their godfather’s mesmerising looks had.

Liu Suzhi was a man capable of great destruction. This both terrified and excited Xiao Fu. He’d lived in the poor comfort of knowing he would never be able to pleasure their godfather as a man could but that their godfather spurned the covetous touch of others anyway, regarded any advances towards him as dirty and contemptible.

Until now. Someone had broken past the barricade when Xiao Fu had had his back turned and plucked the magnificent flower he’d nurtured close to his heart.

"What’s the matter, Godfather? Why can’t you tell Xiao Fu who touched you?"

Their godfather raised an eyebrow before rapping his knuckles sharply on Xiao Fu’s forehead with a huff.

"Is that how you should speak to Godfather? Remember your place, brat, when did you start asking about matters that don’t concern you?" Their godfather scowled at him but the small smile playing on his lips was indulgent; it was painfully clear that he only saw Xiao Fu as a son and an overprotective one at that. Being confronted with this truth even as he had to cope with the sight of seeing someone else’s brand on the person he loved the most in this world left a bitter taste in Xiao Fu’s mouth.

It wasn’t fair. This wasn’t the same as when Emperor Wenchun had made his advances. Xiao Fu couldn’t recall a time he’d seen their godfather like this, bearing the signs of another man’s embrace with an acceptance that felt like a hot knife stabbing him in the gut.

Or rather. Xiao Fu had to finally confront a fact that he’d been denying for as long as he’d picked up hints of their godfather’s secret, the one that he guarded selfishly close to his heart, only letting slip when the smoke and wine loosened his tongue enough for him to murmur a fragment of a name with a wistfulness that made Xiao Fu’s eyes sting.

Big Brother Pan.

Why did he have to return from the warfront? He’d left their godfather to fend for himself in the perilous inner palace, what right did he have to come back and lay claim to the broken pieces Emperor Wenchun had left in his wake? It had been Xiao Fu who had put them back together one by one on those nights when their godfather had woken up trembling from another nightmare, Xiao Fu who had kept their godfather fed and clothed on the days when he’d entertained thoughts of giving up on going on—

"It’s fine, leave me be. Should my existence end now, his will end as well...and then the borders will be breached, the country will fall to ruin and that fool on the throne would go down in history as the useless emperor who brought devastation upon the doomed Great Ye. But what’s it to me if they all died? Who am I to give a damn?"

It had always been Great General Pan. Admitting it was just as painful as swallowing a sword, that was all.

"Draw a bath for Godfather." Without waiting for an answer from Xiao Fu, their godfather started heading in towards the inner quarters of his tent, which was far more luxurious than any servant should be entitled to, even one of Supervisor Liu’s rank.

It was always like this. How many more times would he have to see their godfather walking away from him, straying further and further away from his reach no matter how hard he worked to keep pace? What more did Xiao Fu have to do to prove that he was worthy of becoming the most important person in the world to this beautiful, infuriating man?

Stop him. He became possessed by that errant thought as soon as it formed in his mind. Take what should be yours. No one else could care for him as you could.

There were few things that Xiao Fu would come to regret as much as today. But before he could fully process the magnitude of his actions, it was already too late.

For a fleeting moment, their godfather was pliant in his arms as he reached out and seized at his shoulders, forcing him to turn around, to acknowledge him. The lips his mouth crashed down upon were sweeter than he could even dream of—until a sharp metallic tang replaced it.

Xiao Fu didn’t even have time to comprehend the pain on his lips before more pain bloomed across his face, his head reeling from the force with which their godfather had struck him.

He brought a hand up to the tenderness on his cheek and let out a quiet chuckle. Meeting their godfather’s eyes was easier than he thought it would have been, now that everything was out in the open. The fear of abandonment had somehow or another lifted off his shoulders; at least now he no longer had to live with the guilt of abusing their godfather’s trust.

Xiao Fu had never seen their godfather this cold before. Not since Emperor Wenchun’s death. It was a sickening feeling, knowing that he’d now been lumped into the same disgusting category as the man who had ruined their godfather’s life but he deserved it.

"Have you lost your mind?" their godfather asked calmly. "This old man is your father."

Xiao Fu shook his head with another mirthless laugh. "Still? Then I’m afraid I haven’t done enough—"

"I sent Xiao De to Imperial Noble Consort Yue believing he was the one who would need to learn to grow up without me but I was mistaken." The steely note of disappointment in their godfather’s voice would ordinarily have gutted Xiao Fu; ever since the start of their bond, he’d only ever lived for their godfather’s approval.

But now, he realised that he couldn’t pretend anymore.

Sinking to his knees, Xiao Fu kowtowed to their godfather, leaving his forehead pressed firmly to the back of his hands as he spoke. "This godson has failed you," he said. He didn’t know what their godfather had in store for him. Punishment, no doubt, perhaps even death, but he was willing to accept it all. Anything was better than staying by their godfather’s side and seeing him fall into the arms of a man who didn’t deserve him.

Xiao Fu was under no illusions that he would be able to change their godfather’s mind about Great General Pan. He didn’t think anyone could.

"I have no need for a disobedient child." The heat at the back of Xiao Fu’s eyes made him grit his teeth. He didn’t lift his head even as he heard their godfather pronounce his sentence in the coldest of tones, as though he wasn’t the same man who would clean their wounds or check their foreheads for a temperature when they were ill. "Tomorrow, you will report to Head Eunuch Cao Mingbao, the Eastern Depot is desperate for new talent."

The Eastern Depot. Being dismissed from their godfather’s presence didn’t surprise Xiao Fu, but to be given to the Eastern Depot, the biggest rival of the inner palace departments...

He knew his cheeks were tear-streaked when he raised his face to regard their godfather for the last time but he also knew that this wouldn’t mean anything to this haughty, heartless man.

"Am I not even worth disposing of on your own?" he asked. It hurt to smile. "Godfather, would you make use of your enemies to end the life of your errant son?"

Their godfather merely arched his eyebrow. "What enemies? After all these years spent with me, if the only thing you’ve learnt is how to divide the inner palace up into meaningless factions, then you’ve truly wasted my time."

"The departments and the Eastern Depot have never seen eye to eye—"

"Does it matter?" their godfather interjected. "No matter our disagreement, at the end of the day, all that is important is where our loyalties lie, is it not? What do you think the servants of the imperial city are for? To bait the heart and pit the horns against each other?1 To indulge in the wind, the flowers, the snow, the moon2?"

Xiao Fu jolted. "No," he said, the words their godfather taught to him so long ago coming back now like a long-faded echo. "We’re here to serve."

"We are," their godfather agreed. "And if you serve well, if you make yourself useful to the right person, do you think Head Eunuch Cao foolish enough to get rid of you? At the end of the day, he’s just a eunuch, like the both of us, not nearly a man and not nearly as powerful as the one he serves. What are you afraid of?"

It struck Xiao Fu, suddenly, that whether he’d gone insane and kissed their godfather or not, perhaps this is the path that he was going to have to take anyway. Because it was obvious now that their godfather had never intended to keep him by his side, had dropped hints in the past that he’d had their futures planned out for them regardless of what they wanted. All his wishful longing, his hopes for a future together, they were swept away this instant like the pipe smoke their godfather absentmindedly brushed aside.

That person no longer wished to haunt his dreams. It was time to wake up.

"If Godfather intends for Xiao Fu to advance in the Eastern Depot, then consider it done."

Their godfather looked away. Xiao Fu was so busy picking up the pieces of his heart that he didn’t notice the unhappy set of Liu Suzhi’s mouth or the slight tremble in his hands as he struggled to keep his emotions under check.

"Come speak to me again when you become someone worth talking to," he said.

A saying from a historical anecdote about King Zhou You from the Western Zhou Dynasty, who had a beautiful concubine Bao Si who was always melancholic. In order to earn a smile from her, he started performing more and more ludicrous acts, culminating in the incident that would result in rebellion against him; he lit the beacons of war, tricking the warlords into believing he was calling for assistance and they rushed to attend to him with their armies. When they reached the court, they realised that it was all in jest and their loyalty towards their emperor had been disrespected by their liege and used as a toy to win a beauty’s affection. Bao Si did smile though...An idiom that means to scheme against each other. An idiom that referred originally to certain genres of literary works and later to sentimental writings in general, which then became an extended metaphor for love affairs. 1