Guild Mage: Apprentice-Chapter 110. The First Step

Liv didn’t end up finding a chance to speak with Arjun alone until two days later, when they were both leaving Professor Annora’s healing class. One of the second-year students had been carried into the infirmary after taking a nasty knock to the head, which meant that all the advanced students had been called around to listen to the professor lecture while she drilled a small hole to relieve the swelling of the brain.

It had been thoroughly terrifying, so far as Liv was concerned. She’d never thought of herself as someone squeamish - she’d gotten pretty good at dressing a kill, for instance! - but the idea of performing surgery on a living person's head, while they were awake, was just too much.

“I don’t think it will surprise anyone that I’m done after we test out of that course,” Liv told Arjun, as they left the infirmary. Wren peeled herself off the wall of the building and followed the two of them out into the courtyard.

“No,” Arjun said, with a smile. “I think the only question in anyone’s mind is whether you'll end up a journeyman to Professor Jurian, or to the Archmagus himself.”

“I actually don’t know the answer to that,” Liv admitted. “If they both offered - Jurian is probably the better choice for strictly learning how to inflict horrific violence, but the archmagus just knows so much, about so many different things...”

“I heard a rumor Jurian’s going to test for archmage soon,” Wren broke in.

Liv and Arjun both stopped walking, turning to face the huntress. “Where did you hear that?” Arjun asked.

Wren shrugged. “Here and there.”

Liv narrowed her eyes, and wondered whether Wren had been hanging about Blackstone Hall in bat form, when she wasn’t keeping an eye on the mercenaries. She also wondered how the woman got enough sleep to function during the day, but supposed that wasn’t her problem.

“Anyway,” she said, “will you come up to the landing for lunch?”

“I always feel a bit odd going up there,” Arjun admitted, following her across the courtyard toward High Hall. “I know it's not like I’m going into your rooms, and I’m invited, but boys still aren’t really supposed to be up there.”

“We need someplace to work on our assigned projects,” Liv pointed out, which was the same reasoning she’d given anyone who complained. “Anyway,” she remarked, thinking herself particularly clever, “I’m sure you’re betrothed to someone back in Lendh ka Dakruim anyway, so I can’t see how there’d be any reason for scandal.”

Arjun winced. “That’s - well, all marriages are arranged by matchmakers in Lendh ka Dakruim, so yes, technically I am supposed to wed someone.”

“It doesn’t sound like you really want to,” Liv prodded him, as they crossed through the foyer of High Hall and started up the stairs.

“Chandrika is a perfectly nice girl,” Arjun said. “But -” he stopped halfway up, glanced both above and below to make certain there was no one close by, and then lowered his voice. “I never really understood it.”

“What?” Liv leaned against the railing and frowned.

“Sexual attraction. I mean, yes, intellectually I understand it. We were designed by the Vædim to be aesthetically pleasing to the eye - not quite so much as the Eld, but the old gods certainly seemed to have a preference for pretty slaves. And because we reproduce sexually - not just humans, but all the races - we’re supposed to be physically attracted, men to women and so forth, so that each generation creates the next. But I just don’t - look, why were you always cuddling Cade so much?”

Liv couldn’t help but blush. “Because it felt good,” she said. “Not just the attention, but - you know. Kissing, and touching and all that.”

“That’s what I don’t understand,” Arjun said. “Chandrika kissed me once before I left, and it just felt like -” he shrugged. “I don’t know. Not exciting, at any rate. And the whole idea of actually sleeping with another person -” he winced. “Maybe it's because I know too much about how we’re all built, underneath? There’s nothing very romantic about muscle and bone and fat, all layered on top of each other.”

“I guess I just don’t think about that part,” Liv said. “But you don’t ever look at a girl, and think, ‘she’s beautiful?”

“A tapestry might be beautiful,” Arjun said, “but that doesn’t mean I want to have sex with it.”

“Right,” Liv said. “Let’s stop lingering on the steps, then, and get something to eat.”

Of course, then she had to watch Teph sitting next to Arjun for an entire meal, with the blonde girl doing her best to flirt with a boy who was, at best, oblivious, and at worst, completely uninterested. There was no time to tell the girl what Liv had learned until much later that evening, after another frustrating lecture on silent casting from Archmagus Loredan and an afternoon of rolling around in the dirt of the training ground.

In between bouts, while Liv sipped from a skin of watered wine, she plied Rosamund for information.

“The worst student in the advanced class?” Rose repeated, sitting down next to Liv close enough that their hips bumped. “Well, there’s a few second years who never tested up by beating anyone; they just took the basic course for a year and scraped by the final examination from the journeymen. If I were you, I’d look at Giles Cutler.”

“Tell me about him,” Liv asked.

“He’s one of those merchant kids whose parents have enough coin to send him here, whether he has any talent or not,” Rose began. “He’s been cozying up to some of the girls with connections, but not a lot of money. Not that he’s necessarily the bad sort; at least he’s honest about it. But he didn’t have the kind of training a baron’s son gets, you see? Maybe a few pointers from hired guards, but no real training until he got to Coral Bay. He’s bigger than you, but basically everyone will be.”

“Do you think I can beat him?” Liv asked.

Rose blew a long breath out as she considered it. “On the one hand, you’ve clearly had prior training, and from people who knew what they were doing. That’s obvious to me. On the other hand - you never really took it all that seriously, did you?”

“Baron Henry’s men,” Liv confirmed. “I got dragged into a lot of Matthew’s lessons. He’s - well, my brother now, I suppose. But he took to fencing like a duck to water, you know?” Rose lifted her eyebrows and shot Liv a glance. “What? People say that. My mother says that.”

“Old people say that,” Rose teased her.

“Well, I was always tiny, and I had magic anyway,” Liv said. “And then for years my bones were no good. So mostly I made targets for him. It was never my plan to get up close and stab things.”

“You’ve got the edge on him in training, he’s got the edge in reach and strength,” Rose concluded. “You’re also tough as last year’s jerky. There, see, I can use silly expressions, too. Come on, get up and let's go again.”

☙

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It was long after dinner, when Sidonie finally disappeared into her bedchamber to work on a new draft of her caribou sketch, that Liv was finally able to snatch a private word with Tephania.

“Don’t go yet,” Liv said, once Sidonie’s door had clicked closed. “Here, come in my room.” She gathered up her own books, quills and inkpot, and held the door open for Teph to enter, then closed it for privacy. “My maid will be up in a moment, I’m sure,” Liv said. “But I did what you asked. I talked to Arjun. I don’t think - I don’t think he likes girls, Teph.”

The blonde girl’s face fell. “Boys, then?”

Liv opened her mouth, closed it, then tried again. “I didn’t get the impression he liked boys either, honestly,” she said. “He told me that he’s engaged to a girl back home, and that the jati arrange all the marriages. But he also said he just didn’t feel that way about basically anyone. He went on about how we’re all made up of blood and bones and gristle, and he didn’t find people attractive. Didn’t even enjoy it when this girl kissed him before he left.”

Tephania chewed her lip for a moment. “Bad luck two ways, then,” she said, finally. “He’s already promised to someone, and he doesn’t even like her. That’s common enough, I suppose. If it were a story, and he fell in love with me, he’d put her aside. But I guess that’s too easy for real life, isn’t it?”

Liv set her things down and gave her friend a hug. “I’m sorry, Teph. I know it wasn’t what you wanted to hear.”

“Better now than if I’d spent months and months pining after him,” Tephania said, finally, after giving Liv a long squeeze. She sniffled a bit. “And you kept me from embarrassing myself. Thank you. At least now we can still be friends without it getting very awkward.”

“Of course,” Liv said. When the two girls released each other, Tephania wiped her eye with a sleeve, then put on a bright smile.

“Goodnight then, Liv. Thank you again. I’ll just head off to bed.” Teph slipped out of Liv’s bedchamber, leaving her alone until Thora came in to help her get undressed. Liv managed to keep her thoughts to herself until the maid was half done with brushing her hair.

“Are there boys who like other boys, instead of women?” she asked.

“Sometimes I forget you grew up all the way out in Whitehill,” Thora said. “The absolute edge of the wilderness. Yes, m’lady, there are boys - and men - who sleep with other men. And for that matter, women who sleep with women.”

“I feel silly for not knowing that,” Liv admitted. She thought back to her duel with the dark-haired Celestria Ward, and how it had felt when the girl’s word of power fell on Liv like an avalanche. She’d thought the desire to touch and kiss had been the magic, and the magic alone. And when the archmagus had mentioned Celestria’s name as someone to train against, Liv had put the thought aside. She couldn’t imagine going through those feelings over and over again, day after day, without exploding.

Firmly, she shoved those thoughts aside. “The day after tomorrow,” she told Thora, “I’m going to challenge one of the second years. Please make certain my armor is ready.”

☙

Through Advanced Magical Combat, the next morning, Liv stood aside as much as she could, conserving her mana. She helped carve the casque during Enchanting, and practiced filleting a sand shark under Professor Blackwood’s guidance. It was different in the particulars from dressing the carcass of a stag, but the general principles were familiar.

Rather than take part in the sparring with Rose, Arjun, and Teph, Liv contented herself with stretching and a bit of light exercise, and then practiced cuts and thrusts on one of the straw practice dummies in the training yard. The last thing she wanted was to sprain an ankle, break a finger, or do something else that risked putting her at anything other than her best in the morning.

As a result, after a morning meal of crisp and juicy bacon from a wild boar that must have wandered into a shoal somewhere, alongside toasted bread slathered with mana-rich strawberry preserves and two soft-boiled pheasant eggs, Liv felt about as fit as she could ever remember being.

She knew that she shouldn’t need mana for the bout, but after how Merek Sherard had caught her by surprise, Liv wasn’t going to let herself be vulnerable, either. If Cutler tried some sort of underhanded trick on her, Liv intended to give him a very cold surprise, and she would deal with an angry professor afterward, if she had to.

Liv was the very first one down at the training grounds, running on nervous energy, with only Wren trailing behind her. She took a practice mask and blade from the storage chests, and began stretching to loosen herself up. It must have been pretty obvious what she was planning on doing, because rather than separate into remedial, basic and advanced classes, the other students gravitated to the stands as they arrived.

“Who is it then, Brodbeck?” Journeyman Gamel asked her, ambling over like a hairless bear.

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“Giles Cutler,” she answered.

“Give the wand to one of your friends, then,” Gamel instructed her. “Not that I think that would stop you, but it's expected. No magic in the challenge, you understand?”

Liv nodded, and strode over to the stands, finding her knot of friends. Not so long ago, she would have handed her wand to Cade. Now, if Edith was to be believed, he’d left Coral Bay behind. She pulled the length of bone from her sheath, hesitated, and then handed it to Tephania.

“Could you do me a favor, and hold onto this?” Liv asked her. Teph had been a bit down since their conversation about Arjun, and Liv thought that showing some trust in her might help.

“Of course, Liv!” Tephania said, accepting the wand and cradling it carefully in her hands. “I’ll make certain nothing happens to it. I promise.”

“I know you will,” Liv said, grinned, and then put on the leather face mask.

“We have a challenge this morning!” Journeyman Gamel announced. “Cutler, get some gear on. Brodbeck’s challenging you.”

Liv had seen the boy around - even run next to him once or twice, for a few moments, in the mornings. He was skinny in the way of young men who hadn’t filled out yet, with close cropped hair the color of sand, and a smattering of small scars across his cheeks. She wasn’t certain whether they were from the pox, or just too many pimples.

Since she was already dressed, Liv waited for Giles Cutler to get ready and join her in the center of the training ground. Then, she saluted him with the blunted sword as she’d been taught, and settled into Third Guard, weight on her rear leg, blade extended out in front of her.

“I’d prefer not to take a knee to my nuts,” Giles said, settling into fourth guard.

“I’ve got no quarrel with you,” Liv said. “I just need to get into that class.”

Master Jurian and Journeyman Gamel prowled around them for a moment, and Liv could see they were coordinating where to stand so that each could watch from a different angle. “Begin!” Gamel shouted.

Liv stamped her foot, as if to lunge, but kept her place, and watched Cutler flinch. After only a year and change at Coral Bay, his form was good, but he clearly still wasn’t comfortable with actually fighting. That was to her benefit; Henry’s guards had always said that in the moment, people forgot everything fancy, and fell back on what they’d drilled over and over again. She was willing to bet that she’d drilled more than Giles ever had.

He attempted a lunge, and Liv beat it aside before launching a riposte. Again, he moved well, but seemed hesitant to commit. Cutler scrambled back: she hadn’t been close enough. His extra reach was a problem; she needed to find a way to get close enough for one of her lunges to land. At the same time, the last thing she wanted was to end up in a wrestling match, where the boy’s size and muscle would easily outclass her.

Liv advanced, and Cutler retreated. She circled, and noticed that his footwork was hesitant. Another sign that he simply hadn’t been practicing for long enough, yet. She slowed her movement, then suddenly accelerated, making him scramble to maintain position, and cross his feet. The moment he did, she launched off her back foot, extending her arm in a lunge.

Giles Cutler tried to parry, but got tangled up in his own feet, and lost his balance. The padded tip of Liv’s sword took him in the shoulder of his padded doublet, and she froze there, waiting for the match to be called, while her opponent recovered his balance.

“Brodbeck,” Gamel said, looking to Master Jurian, who nodded. “Congratulations, you’re in the advanced course now.”

Liv nodded, pulled off the leather mask, tucked the practice sword under her arm, and stepped over to Cutler. “Are you alright?” she asked him.

Giles pulled off his own mask and nodded. “I knew I was in trouble the moment you started circling,” he admitted. “I’ve been drilling that footwork over and over, but when it comes time to actually do it in a match, it seems to always fall apart. Well, congratulations.”

The classes began to split up, so Liv dashed over to Tephania to reclaim her wand and sheathe it. Then, she followed Rosamund over to Master Jurian.

“That’s one,” she said, as the two girls crossed the training grounds. “Now it’s just Enchanting, and Guild Law.”

“Trying to set the record for quickest first year ever to get out of the basic courses?” Rose asked her.

“Trying to get ready for that next king tide,” Liv answered. “And what happens after.” For a moment, her thoughts flew to her father. Had he made it to Varuna already, or had it taken longer than he’d expected to organize the House’s men and supplies? She tried to imagine the man in that endless expanse of green jungle, the heat and damp of it, rather than the cold north, and just couldn’t make the two things fit together in her mind.

“I’ll join you there soon enough,” Liv whispered, a promise to herself as well as to her father. She’d just taken the first step, after all.