Hell University-Chapter 32 - 31: Sorry

Zein’s Point of View

I thought nothing could hurt more than the expression I saw on Matt’s face when I merely glanced past him. I didn’t know it could hurt even more to realize that he was already avoiding me as well.

As the days passed, hours turning into days, we did not speak. He even avoided my gaze. I know our other friends felt it too, but they chose to remain silent.

Friends? Can friendships like this still be called that? We barely even see each other anymore. I am busy preparing for the upcoming foundation, while they each have their own concerns to attend to.

"A penny for your thoughts."

I stiffened at the sound of the voice as someone newly sat beside me on the bench in the wide space. I immediately frowned but turned my gaze away from him.

"Hays, things really are complicated," he said impatiently, stretching his arms.

"They’re already complicated, and we only make them even more so."

"What the fuck do you want, Liam?" I couldn’t stop myself anymore. I wanted a peaceful place where I could clear my mind.

"Nah. I’m just wondering... why do feelings suddenly fade?"

I couldn’t help but glance at him. "What are you trying to say?" I asked.

"Why do people suddenly change?"

I slung my backpack over my shoulder again and stood up. "Because nothing in this world is permanent," I answered all his nonsense questions.

"Even a friendship?"

That hit me hard. I couldn’t immediately walk away from that place. It felt as if a massive rock had struck me. All his questions were the very same questions racing through my mind, and yet I had answered them with my own words.

"You said it yourself."

He left me completely dumbfounded.

It took several minutes before I finally stepped away from that place, even though his words continued to follow me. Damn it.

There is nothing permanent in this world. Everything can change in an instant, even the things you thought you had built for a lifetime.

"Do you have any suggestions, Ms. Shion?"

I was pulled back to reality when I heard my name spoken by Supremo. I had forgotten that we were in the middle of a meeting for Foundation Day because my mind had been drifting. My thoughts were not with me; they kept wandering to so many different things.

"H-Huh?"

"Are you with us? You should be the one planning this, Ms. Shion, since you are the secretary. We are only here to approve your suggestions," Teacher Kath lectured me.

I forced myself to focus.

"I guess leisure games would work," I suggested.

"Like what?" Vice Ty asked.

I stood in front and listed on the whiteboard all the events I was suggesting for the week of the foundation, which would end on Saturday, the day I would simply fade away.

I stepped aside so everyone could see what I had written. I noticed Teacher Kath smirk, while Supremo was staring at me. I met his gaze, and he immediately looked away.

Okay. What was that?

"I approve," Supremo said, not even sparing a glance at the event plan I had written on the whiteboard.

He approved it without even looking! Ugh!

"I must say, you have a brilliant idea," Teacher Kath said before ending the meeting and leaving ahead of everyone else.

Whoa! She praised me. That was new.

"She seems happy with your idea, huh?" Vice Ty spoke again.

"Thanks."

"I told you. She’s really qualified for this position," Supremo said, sounding as if he were proudly proving that choosing me had been the right decision.

I suddenly felt uneasy when Onel smirked at me. I raised an eyebrow at him, silently asking why he was smiling like that, but he only shook his head before grabbing his bag and leaving the office as well.

"I have to go," I said as I excused myself. I want to spend my remaining days with my friends.

"Are you ready?"

For the second time that day, I was rooted to where I stood.

"If you’re talking about my death, I told you. I’m a-always..." It felt as if something was blocking my throat.

Now I’m thinking, am I really?

"You’re sure? You still have five days to go. Aren’t you going to beg for my help?"

I frowned at what he said. What did he mean by that? Could he actually help me if I asked him for help to save my life?

"You can’t do anything about it," I muttered absentmindedly. Supremo does not hold the law here. Yes, maybe he is the one who enforces punishment, but there are no exemptions. He cannot take sides or save someone, because it would affect the position he holds.

He wouldn’t risk the position he has just for the sake of some stupid newbie.

"Is that really how low you think of me?"

Now I knew he was serious. "You should know, I wasn’t named Ace without having one."

He walked out ahead of me.

I was left gaping, confused by what he had said. He has an ace? What kind of ace? What is Supremo hiding?

When I arrived at the dorm, I almost screamed when I saw Vanessa smack Hoy with a broom.

"What the hell?!"

"Waa! Stay away from him, Zein! That’s a ghost!"

I picked up Hoy and gently stroked his fur. Damn, Van. That’s animal harassment. Poor Hoy.

"He’s not! He’s Hoy!" I protested.

Vanessa finally let go of the broom and came over to me. She stared at Hoy, so he just turned his gaze to me instead.

"Look, he’s already traumatized."

"Ate Allison said, right? Black cats are ghosts!"

Sigh. That’s what I thought at first too, but it’s not. I’m starting to wonder if everything Ate Allison told us is even true.

Hoy licked my hand again, tickling me, so I couldn’t help but lightly bop him on the head.

"Ouch! Why’d you bop it?"

"Just a friendly bop," I said, brushing it off.

We laughed together, but I knew deep down there was still a huge thorn stuck in my throat.

I need to talk to him.

"Have you seen Matt?" I asked. I put Hoy down, and he immediately hid under the table.

Vanessa must’ve scared him, chasing him with a broom like that.

"N-No. Is there a problem between you two? Are you two upset with each other?"

I knew she’d been itching to ask questions for a while. She just got the courage to start now that I had brought up the topic about Matt.

"Nothing," I answered.

We really don’t have a problem. We didn’t have a fight, or maybe I was the one sulking, but that’s over now. That’s why I want to talk to Matt. I need to talk to him in person. This situation is becoming too hard to handle. We barely see each other, and when we do, we pretend not to notice.

"Nothing? Then why are you avoiding each other?" came her next question.

I was about to open my mouth to answer when the door suddenly swung open, and Matt stepped out. He just threw me a brief glance before walking past me.

I quickly stood up and grabbed his arm. He stopped walking but remained with his back turned to me.

"W-We need to talk," I stammered. Out of all the times Matt and I have been together, this was the first time I felt this way, stammering in front of him.

It seems everything is new to me.

"We have nothing to talk about."

I almost melted at his reply, and at the truth of how cold his voice was. I couldn’t even hear the warmth in it. That line didn’t even seem like it came from him.

My chest tightened again.

"Ah, I’m going out for a bit," I heard Vanessa say, but I couldn’t bring myself to glance at her.

My eyes stayed fixed on Matt’s back.

"Sorry."

I don’t know why, but that word suddenly slipped out of my mouth. I felt some relief just by saying it, but it still wasn’t enough to let me breathe easily.

He turned to face me. I blinked when I saw him smiling at me. I almost want to smack him on the head just because of that grin he was giving me.

"I’m really good at this... I almost had you thinking I was sulking–Ah!"

I hit him hard on the arm as my tears poured out. His face crumpled, but he endured the hit.

"Sorry for being cold to you these past few days. I just... had a lot on my mind," I said, mid-cry.

I felt his arms wrap around my waist, pulling me closer to him. He held my chin to lift my face, and with his thumb, gently wiped the tears from my cheeks.

"You don’t need to say sorry. I don’t care why you avoided me. I’ll understand you. You don’t have to ask for forgiveness because you did nothing wrong. Apologies are only for those who have committed a mistake."

Damn it. I did wrong you. I briefly lost my trust in you. I avoided you even though there was no real reason. I ignored you, so don’t pretend that none of it mattered, because I saw it in your eyes. You were hurt.

"I hate myself, Matt. I’m angry at myself."

"Shh. It’s nothing. I’m sorry if you felt that way."

I hit his chest in frustration. Frustrated at why Matt is always like this. He has every reason to be angry or upset, yet he chooses to brush it all aside. Don’t you have any ego, Matt? You’re allowed to get mad, you have every reason to!

"I hate you," I said again. I hate you because I can’t trust you the way you trust me.

Damn it. I doubted Matt. I did something terribly wrong to him.

"I know you have a reason, Zein. I won’t force you to tell me why you became cold, because I don’t really care about that. What matters to me is knowing that in the end, you’ll still come back and hold on to me."

He trapped me in his arms, causing the sleeves of his shirt to ride up, revealing the BBG symbol etched on it.

I hugged Matt tighter, letting my tears flow even more.

Maybe I was wrong, but it’s never too late. Whatever your reason, I trust you, Matthew Hart.

I glanced at Matt chopping the garlic and onions. He really is amazing, the speed of his knife work is incredible.

"Try it," he said, lowering the knife and rolling back to give me some space. He must have noticed I wasn’t touching the knife, because he spoke again.

"Come on, Zein."

He pulled me, and I had no choice but to take the knife.

I swallowed, unsure of how to chop. I had never done this before. It was always Mom or Ate Allison who cooked, while I was just the taste-tester and the one who ate.

"Just be gentle," he reminded me, and I did exactly that.

I don’t know why, but tears suddenly streamed down my face as I slowly sliced the onion. Why is this happening? Tears of joy?

I sniffed, yet I kept cutting. Gentle. Why is it like this? With every slice, my eyes stung, and I couldn’t stop myself from tearing up.

"Pft."

I glanced at Matt when I heard him snort. His cheeks were puffed, clearly holding back laughter.

"What are you doing! These are tears of joy. Chopping is actually fun," I said.

He burst out laughing, so I put the knife down and washed my hands. I glanced at Matt, who was still laughing.

Honestly? I was holding myself back from throwing the chopped onions at him.

What’s so funny?!

"Tears of joy?" he laughed. "Onions are like love, they make you cry!" He laughed again.

The four of them arrived, and Matt recounted my onion-chopping encounter. I kept a poker face while watching everyone die laughing.

Seriously?!

"Tears of joy," Dave and Jerome teased me, while Vanessa mocked the onions I had chopped, saying they were way too thick. Apparently, she said I only sliced one onion into three pieces.

"I’ll learn how to cook too! You’ll see," I boasted, even though I really had no interest in cooking.

This is all Matthew’s fault! He knew I was new in the kitchen and still made fun of me. Oh, Matt.

After we finished eating, probably close to an hour later, we went back to our room.

"Meow."

I almost squealed when Hoy licked my foot. I laughed, picked him up, and placed him on our bed.

"Hoy! Watch out, that cat might scratch you!" Vanessa warned.

"Waah! Hoy is so cute!" Mia squeezed his cheeks, and all Hoy could do was stare blankly.

I tapped Mia’s hand because she was hurting Hoy.

"Animal harassment," I said.

"You bopped him earlier yourself," Vanessa chimed in, trying to be smart.

"You smacked him with a broom yourself," I shot back.

Poor Hoy. He’s been way too abused in our dorm. These girls are such sadists.

Suddenly, I remembered the scene with Ace. I still can’t believe he’s scared of cats. Pft.

I couldn’t help but blush when he started counting, and before I could react, he suddenly lifted me up, frozen in place.

He made memassaged his shoulders! Then I even accompanied him to the CR to change his pants. I couldn’t really refuse because of his famous line: "This is an order from the highest Supreme Student Government, and you can’t do anything about it." Tsk.

We paused our teasing when Hoy suddenly jumped off the bed and ran out. I quickly put on my shoes to follow him.

He wasn’t running very fast, so I caught up, but then I froze when I realized where we were heading.

The back of the HU, where the overgrown part of the campus lies. This is also where the Dark Hell Jail can be found.

Hoy ran into the forest until he disappeared from my sight, but I heard something.

Someone was whistling. And I think... they were calling Hoy.