Hell University-Chapter 44 - 43: Fight

Zein’s Point of View

I don’t know whether I should feel happy or worried about what I heard regarding the punishment Supremo gave to the people involved in hurting me.

Happy? Yes, I’ll admit that I was happy, because I know he only did that to give justice to the shameless thing they did to me. But I can feel that worry weighs heavier on me. I’m worried that everything might get worse, that it might even affect what he has now. I’m anxious and scared that everything Supremo worked so hard for might be ruined... just because of me.

"Ms. Shion?"

I stood up and walked to Teacher Kath’s table, where she handed me a stack of papers, far too many.

"Please put these in the stock room."

I simply nodded and passed by Supremo, whose furrowed brows clearly showed his disapproval of Teacher Kath’s instruction. Well, this actually worked in my favor, the atmosphere inside the room was unbearably heavy. Supremo and I barely spoke to each other, just like I had asked him to.

I had requested that, as much as possible, we shouldn’t talk much when Teacher Kath or Vice Ty were around. I didn’t want things to get any worse.

I bit my lip as I made my way toward the stock room.

I admit that I’m already struggling with our situation. Supremo and I have no commitments, yet we act like we’re already in a relationship. Do we really need commitments? I feel like words are meaningless if they aren’t backed by actions. Action is much more powerful than words, but action without words is confusing. It’s all a mess.

I twisted the doorknob and pushed the door open. I struggled a bit since the edges were already rusted. I coughed as dust filled my lungs.

The room was full of papers and items that clearly hadn’t been used in a long time. I placed the papers on a table, sending dust scattering into the air and making me cough again.

I felt a presence behind me, so I quickly turned around.

"A-Angel?"

They smirked. I noticed her lower lip was split open and her arm was wrapped in a bandage. Somehow, I felt a pang of pity, knowing that one of the gangs was responsible for it.

"Are you happy now?" she asked, bitterness and anger evident in her voice. "You’re the Queen now. Rank 4, too," she added.

I kept my mouth shut because I didn’t know what to say either.

No. That’s not why I’m happy. I have never found happiness in titles and power. There is only one person who can make me happy. He is all I need to be happy. I could lose everything, as long as he’s there, the smile on my lips would remain.

Damn... the effect he has on me is overwhelming, for me to be like this.

"You already have everything! But why even Supremo?!"

I looked straight into her eyes, where the pain and hurt she was feeling was clearly visible. They have feelings for Supremo, that’s why she’s doing this. If she were to call this love, I would only laugh. This isn’t love. This is selfishness.

"Stay away from him."

A smile slipped onto my face unconsciously, before I shook my head repeatedly. I promised myself that I wouldn’t obey anyone, only him. I will only obey an order from him, only from Ace.

"Can’t you see?! When you’re by his side, he suffers even more. You’re only making things harder for him. You’re nothing but a burden!"

"YES! I KNOW!"

She was startled by my shout. My lips were trembling, not because of Angel, but because of the truth that she was right. I know that already. "Do you think I’m happy about this?! Huh?! If Supremo is struggling, then I’m struggling even more! It hurts me to see him in pain."

I felt tears start to fall from my eyes.

My whole body was shaking, even my heart felt like it was about to explode. I no longer knew what I was supposed to do. I couldn’t leave Supremo, but I also couldn’t bear seeing him hurt. It felt like I was inside a room with two doors, no matter which one I chose, I would end up in pain. It’s like... I’d rather just stay locked inside. I’m afraid to choose.

"This is your fault anyway. If you hadn’t gotten close to him, then you wouldn’t be suffering like this!"

"This is not my fault! This is a fucking accident..." My voice weakened as sobs spilled out one after another. "I didn’t want things to turn out like this... everything was just an accident." The words kept leaving my mouth like a broken record.

It really was all an accident. I didn’t want to be trapped here, I didn’t want our paths to cross... I’m a victim of this accident too. A victim of a cruel, playful fate. Fuck.

"Just stay away from him. Everything will go back to how it was."

I shook my head firmly. There was no way things could ever go back to how they were. What had happened had already happened. I could no longer return to the past, the past where Supremo meant nothing to me, the past where he wasn’t important yet, the past where I didn’t have feelings for him. That past could never be brought back.

"Sorry..."

Those were the last words I heard from Angel before she closed the door.

I ran toward it and desperately tried to open it, but it was already locked.

I broke down in sobs and let myself slide down to the floor.

I hugged my knees as I cried uncontrollably, staring into nothingness.

I’m not afraid of the dark, I actually prefer it to the light, because in the dark I can hide everything I can’t hide in the light. I live in the dark... but now, I can’t help but feel afraid.

I’m afraid that I might never see the light again, because I’ve realized that it was in the light where I found someone who truly saw me for who I am.

I am in the dark, and I badly want to see the light. My light... my Supremo. Ace.

I had no tears left to cry, and I didn’t even know how many hours I had been sitting there.

I need to choose. I can never stay in between. I have to choose and accept it completely.

It’s either to forget or to stay. To hurt or to be hurt.

What now, Zein?

I heard the lock move from outside, so I quickly stood up and stepped away from the door in case it was forced open.

My heart was pounding violently. I would see the light outside once more, and I would have to be strong in front of them again, even though I had already fallen apart inside.

The door suddenly swung open, revealing two people in front of me.

My chest felt unbearably tight, like I couldn’t breathe anymore.

"Zein?! Are you okay?!"

I felt Supremo pull me into a hug, but I stayed frozen, my gaze fixed on the man standing behind him.

He let go and looked straight into my eyes. Once again, I felt the heat gathering at the corners of my eyes.

"Z-Zein?"

His jaw dropped when I pushed past him and walked toward Matt. Matt looked startled when I hugged him, my sobs finally breaking free.

I still haven’t chosen... I don’t want to choose yet. I want to distance myself from Supremo for now, I need clarity, because whenever I’m beside him, all I can think about is being with him.

"Z-Zein?" Matt said, confused.

I pulled away from his embrace and grabbed his hand, leading him out of there.

Every step I took with Matt, moving farther away from Supremo, felt like a knife stabbing into my heart.

It hurt.

I couldn’t help but glance at Supremo, who was just staring at us seriously, but there, I saw it... pain.

I shut my eyes tightly and let go of Matt’s hand, then ran back to Supremo.

He welcomed me into his arms, and I hugged him back. Damn. This is fucking wrong, but hell, I just can’t step away from him.

"Supremo, I can’t fight anymore."

"You don’t have to fight," he said. "I’ll fight for you."