How to Survive as a BL Villain-Chapter 57: The shame he felt

Cassian’s eyes stayed locked on the door while he trembled while being in the same room as lucian still

It was only few feet away. 𝓯𝙧𝓮𝓮𝒘𝓮𝙗𝙣𝒐𝒗𝒆𝓵.𝓬𝓸𝒎

Wooden. Slightly ajar.

Freedom.

But his legs wouldn’t move. His lungs refused to fill. He stood frozen, trembling, fingers digging into his torn shirt like it could hold him together.

Lucian noticed.

A slow, wicked smirk curled his lips. He leaned against a stack of broken music stands, arms crossed, voice smooth as poison.

"If you wanna go," he said, "you’ve got until I count to five."

He tilted his head. "If you’re not out that door by then... I’m gonna fuck you right here."

Cassian’s breath hitched.

"One.

No. No no no -

"Two."

His heart hammered against his ribs like a trapped bird.

"Three."

MOVE.

On "Three," Cassian moved.

He didn’t think. Didn’t look back. Just lunged for the door, yanked it open, and ran barely hearing Lucian’s low, amused chuckle behind him.

---

The campus was quiet.

Evening had fallen without him noticing soft violet sky, streetlights flickering on, students heading to dinner.

Cassian kept his head down, arms crossed over his chest, torn shirt flapping slightly in the breeze. He felt exposed. Dirty. Like everyone could see what Lucian had done just by looking at him.

And maybe they could.

People stared.

Whispers followed him like shadows.

"who is that?"

"Why’s his shirt ripped?"

"He looks... wrecked."

He wanted to vanish. To shrink into the pavement. But he forced himself forward, one shaky step at a time.

Through the dorm’s glass doors, he saw them before they saw him.

Leonel stood in the lobby, phone pressed to his ear, face pale with panic. He ran a hand through his hair, then gripped it like he wanted to tear it out. His eyes darted wildly down the hall, out the window, back to his screen.

Aiden paced beside him, arms crossed, jaw clenched, scanning every corner like a soldier on watch.

Cassian’s throat tightened.

They were looking for me.

He pushed the door open.

They saw him instantly.

"Cassian!" Aiden was at his side in two strides, Leonel right behind him. Their hands reached for him relief, fear, fury all tangled in their eyes.

Cassian wanted to collapse into them. To sob, to cling, to let them carry the weight.

But he didn’t.

He felt contaminated.

Like if they touched him, they’d feel Lucian’s hands too.

Like he’d already betrayed them by letting it happen, by not fighting harder, by being weak.

So he flinched back.

"Hey -" Aiden’s voice softened, but his eyes sharpened as they landed on Cassian’s torn shirt, the missing buttons, the way his hands wouldn’t stop shaking. Then he saw his lips bruised."What’s wrong? Did you meet Lucian?"

Cassian flinched at the name Lucian like it was a brand.

He looked down, unable to meet their eyes.

"I... I need to bathe," he whispered.

Then he pushed past them gently, but firmly and walked toward the hallway, toward his room, toward the hot water that could never wash this away.

Behind him, Aiden and Leonel exchanged a single, silent look.

Not confusion.

Not worry.

Dread.

They knew.

Something far worse than words had happened.

And Cassian was carrying it alone again.

Cassian locked the bathroom door behind him and sank to the cold tile floor, back pressed against the wood. Outside, footsteps shifted, voices low and tense Aiden and Leonel, waiting, watching, knowing something was wrong.

He didn’t cry. Not yet. He just sat there, trembling, replaying Lucian’s hands, his breath, the cruel press of his teeth

There.

On his shoulder.

He hadn’t even felt it happen in the moment just a sharp sting, lost in the flood of fear. But now, under the harsh bathroom light, he’d seen it: a deep, crescent-shaped bruise, already blooming purple at the edges, framed by faint teeth marks. A claim. A brand.

He turned on the shower, cranked it scalding hot, and scrubbed not just his skin, but his soul until the water ran cold and his knees gave out.

---

When he finally emerged, wrapped in a towel, hair dripping, skin flushed and raw wearing a loose white t-shirt, Aiden and Leonel were in the living room, eyes locking onto him the second he stepped out.

"Cassian," Aiden said softly, stepping forward. Without thinking, he opened his arms. "Come here."

Cassian hesitatedvthen leaned in, desperate for the comfort, for the proof that he was still theirs.

But the second Aiden’s hand brushed his bare shoulder -

Pain spiked sharp and sudden.

Cassian gasped, jerking back like he’d been burned, a small cry escaping his lips before he could stop it.

Aiden froze. "Cass? What -?"

Leonel was there instantly, eyes narrowed. "You’re hurt." His gaze dropped to Cassian’s shoulder - the part not hidden by the t-shirt it was 1/4 visible.. "Let me see."

Cassian’s breath hitched. He knew what they’d see. Knew it would make it real. Permanent.

"No," he whispered, backing up until his spine hit the wall. "It’s nothing. Just... sore."

But it was too late.

Leonel’s expression shifted from concern to something darker. "Cassian," he said, voice low, steady, but edged with fury. "Did he bite you?"

Cassian looked down, throat working. Didn’t answer.

Aiden’s hands curled into fists at his sides. "Oh my god."

They didn’t need to see the mark to know. His flinch said everything.

---

Later, after that he went to his room feeling bad about hiding everything he left the door open and Cassian sat on his bed, towel still wrapped around his waist, staring at the floor.

His phone buzzed.

Unknown:

> I’ve been kind enough not to share your little photo... yet. But if you don’t meet me at Room 20 of hotel **** tonight, it goes to Aiden, Leonel, and the whole campus.

But ngl u do loo beautiful in this pic" he didn’t send the picture tho

Cassian’s finger hovered over the delete button. And he thought to himself I blocked him yet he came back up with a new number should have seen that coming

Behind him, what he didn’t sense.

"Why did you delete the message ?"

Aiden stood there, eyes red-rimmed, voice rough. "Let me see your shoulder."

Cassian shook his head. "Please... don’t."

Aiden didn’t ask again. He just stepped forward, slow, and gently tugged the collar of the t-shirtl aside.

And there it was.

The bruise. The bite.

Proof of violation.

Aiden’s breath caught. Leonel, who’d followed him in, went utterly still.

Then Aiden turned Cassian’s chin up, forcing him to meet his eyes. "What photo? What did he take?"

Cassian tried to pull away but Leonel stepped in front of cassian now, arms crossed, face like stone.

"We’re not letting you go back to him," Leonel said, voice raw. "But we can’t protect you if you lie to us."

Cassian’s shoulders shook. The truth tumbled out, broken, ashamed:

"He... touched me. Without saying yes. And he took a picture. He said if I don’t go tonight, he’ll send it to everyone."

Silence.

Then Aiden pulled him into his arms careful, this time, avoiding the bruise and held him like he’d never let go.

Leonel’s voice was quiet. Deadly.

"We will go there to talk to him. You stay right here I will knock some sense into him"

Cassian’s head snapped up, eyes wide with panic. "No! Don’t Leonel, please." His voice cracked, desperate. "He’ll send the photo if you go. He’ll leak it everywhere. Everyone will see-"

Leonel didn’t flinch. Didn’t hesitate. He was already pulling out his phone, screen bright in the dim room. "Which hotel?" he demanded, voice sharp, unshaken. "Which one is Room 20 in?"

"Leonel, stop!" Cassian stumbled forward, grabbing his wrist. "You don’t understand he’s not bluffing! He’ll do it the second he sees you. He wants you to go. It’s a trap!" you don’t know he have done this with me in the past he wanted to tell but couldn’t

But Leonel turned to him, eyes blazing with a fury so deep it scared Cassian more than Lucian ever had ."Then let him send it," he said, voice low and deadly. but Leonel don’t understand he don’t know what kind of picture it is cassian thought to himself with helplessness "Let the whole damn campus see what he did. Because the second that photo goes public, I’ll make sure Lucian never walks again."

Aiden stepped in, hand on Leonel’s shoulder but his eyes were locked on Cassian. "Cass, we can’t let you go back there. Not after what he did."

"But you don’t get it!" Cassian’s voice broke. Tears spilled over. "It’s not just the photo it’s..." he couldn’t speak so he spoke to himself in his mind " it’s the shame. It’s knowing everyone will look at me like I asked for it. Like I’m... dirty." He wrapped his arms around himself, trembling. "I can’t face that. Not here. Not in this world."

Leonel finally lowered his phone, but his jaw was still clenched. " if you are that vary of the picture Then we don’t let it get out," he said, quieter now but no less resolute. "We go. We get the photo. We wipe his phone more like break it . We make sure he never touches you again."

"He’ll hurt you," Cassian whispered. "He’s crazy, Leonel. He doesn’t care who sees he just wants -"

Leonel stepped closer, cupping Cassian’s face gently careful to avoid the bruised lips. "Then let him try," he said, voice rough with emotion. "Because I’d rather take every punch meant for you than watch you carry this alone one more second."

Aiden nodded, already pulling on his jacket. "We’re not giving him another chance, Cass. This ends tonight."

Cassian looked between them his two constants, his protectors and for the first time, he didn’t feel shame.

He felt seen.

And loved.

Even if he didn’t deserve it.

He swallowed hard. "...It’s the Vespera Hotel."